Monday, November 30, 2009

How to Come Out of One's Shell

You have a lot to offer the world, if only you could find the courage to break out of your shell and live life fully and confidently. If you're tired of standing quietly at the back of the crowd, never receiving acknowledgment for your ideas, it's time to change your life.

6 Steps on How to Come Out of One's Shell

Step 1
Follow your convictions. When you do what you think is right, you have only yourself to blame or congratulate for the outcome. It is empowering to realize that you're in control of your life and your actions.

Step 2
Take risks and show initiative in small areas of your life in order to build up confidence. Maybe you're not ready to take on a large public challenge, but by forcing yourself to take small risks every day, your confidence will grow. Share an idea with the office manager for streamlining the filing system. Whether they heed your advice is unimportant, just the fact that you spoke up shows you're advancing.

Step 3
Admit your errors and move forward. Many of us fear being wrong so much that we hide our mistakes. Once you learn to say, "I'm sorry, that was my fault," you'll find others warming to you because you are more approachable. It takes a confident person to admit their errors.

Step 4
Acknowledge compliments with grace and acceptance. You can be modest without selling yourself out. Train yourself to bite your tongue before uttering, "Oh, it was nothing…" Instead, respond with, "Thank you. I'm so glad you like it." It's okay to be proud of what you have accomplished.

Step 5
Treat yourself every time you pass another confidence hurdle. Self-esteem is its own reward, but reinforcing each success with a new book, a night at the movies or that handbag you've had your eye on will provide even more motivation to come out of your shell.

Step 6
Look for the silver lining. Despite gloomy circumstances, strive to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Take time to think the situation through and set your sights on a better future. If you're stuck in a dead end job, make a firm decision to work towards a better career and do at least one small thing every day to make that change come true.

Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Take Action To Achieve Your Dreams

You have a dream. Maybe you want to climb Mt Everest, move to another country to earn money for your future, start your own business or even go back into the working world after spending a few years taking care of the kids.

Why aren’t you doing it? What’s holding you back?

Listen, a dream is a vision in our mind. Creative dreaming without action is a far-fetched realization to goal attainment.

Typical examples are the great wonders of the world, those landmarks that typify or define the greatness of nations. Landmarks like the Statue of Liberty of the United States of America, the Big Ben of England, the Taj Mahal of India, the Great Wall of China, and numerous more. Imagine if these great ideas, these dreams were not acted upon, will we ever have them to be enjoyed by people from every nation on earth? What kind of achievement will each nation have if great thinkers just sit on their ideas and never acted on it. Absolutely nothing. We would probably be facing each other blankly wondering why and what went wrong?

Probably you’d say: “Oh? well? we still have the natural wonders like Niagara Falls, Mt. Fuji, beautiful coral reefs everywhere on earth.” Yes? but these are God’s creations. God did not create man in His own image if He thinks we won’t be using our creativity and put it into action. He might as well take it away from us. He expects us to act on it.

So what’s keeping us from acting on our ideas? We can name a few. Fear of failure is our biggest deterrent. Fear of being ridiculed, fear of sinking further to a depressed state than we presently are, fear of totally losing all we’ve got if we don’t achieve our personal goals, fear of taking risks.

We all have to take risk at one time or another. Risk may come to us in a variety of reasons, big or small. There are risks we can do without, but there are risks that leave us no option but to take and act on it.

As you can see, risks come in many forms. For comparison purposes, let us consider two: risk similar to winning or losing when we gamble and risk in pursuit of a goal.

The risk involved in gambling is for non-thinkers. This is tantamount to luck risk, not good judgment risk. Risk of this kind has no room in goal realization. It is like ignoring safety on the road, just for kicks, come what may, short-lived, to satisfy a craving.

However, risks taken to achieve goal has a definite lasting purpose, a purpose that will bring untold benefits once you achieve your goals. It is a risk worth taking for thinkers, not for happy-go-lucky non-thinkers. Risk in pursuit of a goal will bring stability and security in life, ultimately leading to happiness.
Whenever fear grips us, think positively. Look at it this way. Will we ever get anywhere if we don’t take the risk to act on our dreams? Will we be satisfied with our inaction, five, ten, or twenty years from now?

If you notice, there is one common denominator that is holding us back from acting on our dreams, that thing called fear. Fear is the biggest stumbling block to acting on a creative dream that it practically holds everything still. So it is imperative that we eliminate fear in our feelings to clear the way to our goal.

To overcome this fear, we have to face fear on the face, eye to eye, mano y mano. Let us take a typical example, say you have a fear of speaking in public. I guess a majority of us do. Worst scenario that could happen is you will get tongue-tied and spoil your entire speech in spite of having committed the entire speech into memory. You become the laughing stock of the audience. Don’t let it prevent you from speaking in public the next time around because if you do, fear has won over you and you will be cowering in this kind of fear for the rest of your life. To win over fear, draw lessons from your failure and capitalize on it the next time around. Don’t stop till you have successfully made a good speech. Once you do, you have actually turned the table around. This time, it is fear that fears you.

Another example with a somewhat different twist, say you are a lifeguard and you failed to save a drowning person who apparently should have been saved. Now this is a big failure because a life was at stake here. In spite of this, don’t give up being a lifeguard just because of one mistake. Think about the other lives you have saved before and will be saving if you continue to do so. Say you were able to save a person in an otherwise hopeless situation, doesn’t this offset or overcome the previous failure that happened?

The idea here is to give your best. Once you give your best, it just doesn’t get any better because it is already the best.

When you act on your dreams, think of your actions in a positive way. What you think is what will happen. What the mind can conceive, the body can achieve. Believe that the likely outcome of a thing that we do depends mostly on how we set our mind on it. Our actions originate from our thoughts and the ultimate result is dictated by our mind as well. If we think it will fail, it will. If we think it will succeed, it will. Mental thinking or attitude is the master of the actions we undertake.

Where your mental attitude is directed for a longer period of time, the more difficult it is to change to the opposite direction. If your mind is set on negative thoughts, the more difficult it will be to change to positive thoughts if you do not act on it immediately. However, if your mind is already set on positive thoughts for a long time, it will remain firm on this attitude as time goes by.

Defeat is imminent if your thoughts are in this direction. You may say: “I told you so” that an action has failed because you think it will, just to satisfy yourself when in fact, you are just looking for an excuse or easy way out. The end result is still a failure and what does that make you, a failure. You are just fooling yourself.

On the other hand, success is imminent when your thoughts say it will. Even if it fails the first time, you will learn from your failure and when you try again, you will ultimately succeed as you gain more experience. Keep on trying and persevering. There should be no let up and when success is at hand, you would have defeated defeat.

Here’s another nugget of thought. If you go all out and risk everything, there is nothing left to risk. When that happens, the only possible outcome is success.

Don’t give up your dreams without even fighting for them just because the risks are too great.

The greater the risk, the bigger the reward and success is sweeter. Either way, whether you achieve your dream or not, you will come out of it a better person.

Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good

Friday, November 27, 2009

7 Ways to Break Out of Your Comfort Zone and Live a More Exciting Life

Any change, or even an attempt to change anything you are doing, makes you uncomfortable. By attempting to change, you move out of your comfort zone. You feel increasingly uneasy. You experience stress and tension. If the change is too extreme, your physical and mental health can be affected. You will experience sleeplessness, indigestion, or fatigue. You may react with impatience, irritability or anger. You will often feel as if you are on an emotional roller-coaster.

Raise Your Internal Standards

So if you want to sell more and earn more, you must increase your self-concept level of income. You must increase the amount you believe yourself capable of earning. You must raise your aspirations, set higher goals, and make detailed plans to achieve them. You must begin to see yourself and think about yourself as capable of being one of the highest earning salespeople in your field. You must take charge of developing a new self-concept for sales and income that is more consistent with what you really want to accomplish.

Build Your Self-Concept Level of Income

Your self-concept determines your levels of performance and effectiveness in everything you do. In sales, you have a series of mini-self-concepts that govern every activity of selling. You have a self-concept for prospecting, for using the telephone, for cold calling, for making appointments, for qualifying, for presenting, for answering questions, for closing, for getting referrals, and for making follow-up sales. You have a self-concept of your level of product knowledge, your personal management skills, your level of motivation and for the way that you relate to different types of customers. In every case, you will always perform in a manner consistent with your self-concept.

The Key to Peak Performance

Wherever you have a high self-concept, you perform well. If you enjoy working on the telephone, you look forward eagerly to telephone prospecting and selling and you do it well. If you have a high self-concept for making presentations or for closing sales, you feel comfortable and competent whenever you are doing them.

Wherever you feel tense or uneasy in selling, it means that you have a low self-concept in that area. You do not feel comfortable when you are engaged in that activity. You probably avoid that activity as much as possible.

This is normal and natural. The only question is, "What are you going to do about it?"

Action Exercises

It’s easy to get stuck.

Nestle yourself deeper and deeper into that warm, safe and comforting comfort zone.

But if you want to improve your life you’ll sooner or later need to step out of that zone. Because it’s there you’ll find all those new and exciting experiences. Where you’ll find freedom from boredom.

Here are 7 ideas that can help you get out of your comfort zone. Some are ways to make the process easier. Some are ways you may not have thought of (or forgotten).

1. Face your fears. But do it in small steps.
This is one of the best ways to overcome fears and get out of your comfort zone. What holds us back in our zone of comfort is often a fear or that facing that fear straight on might be overwhelming. This is a solution to those two problems. It allows you to stretch your comfort zone slowly making it less uncomfortable and frightening.

If you’re for instance nervous socially you might not feel able to ask people out on dates right away. The fear of being rejected and that others might think less of you if you get turned down can make many of us feel unable to ask the question.

So you take small steps instead. Steps like first just saying hi to people. Or starting to talk more to people online via forums and Instant Messaging. And then trying to be more involved in conversations at work or in school to exercise your conversation-muscles.

I guess one could say that you gradually de-sensitize yourself to social situations or whatever you are afraid of. Or, seeing it in a more motivating light, that you are building courage and expanding your comfort zone in this part of your life (which is something that often seeps over to other areas of life too.)

So, identify your fear. Then make a plan with some smaller steps you can take to gradually lessen your discomfort.

2. Try something weird.
One obvious way to move out of your comfort zone is to do something new. But a more interesting option might be to think of doing something weird. When you choose something new you may choose something that is line with your personality. So your experiences can become limited. Instead, choose something that’s out of character for you. Something that isn’t you as you are right now. Something that you – and/or the people close to you – wouldn’t think that you would do.

3. Make a new acquaintance.
This will expose your to new experiences, opinions and interests. And it’s not just about meeting new people the usual way. Try just picking up a biography about someone you know nothing about. Start reading a book from a writer you haven’t read before. Read about a random topic at Wikipedia. Or add an unexpected RSS-feed about something you normally never read about.

4. Take a friend with you.
In general, it’s often easier to not go it alone. And this applies to many situations. Including when you are going for the emotional bungee jump that getting out of your comfort zone can be.

I’d say this probably the most popular way to get yourself out of comfort zones. If you are going to a party where you know few people then it may be easier to bring a friend. If you have decided to start going to the gym it might be easier to actually get going and keeping going there every week if you have a gym-partner.

However, there are potential downsides to bringing friends too. If you are at the party with your friend then you might not meet and get to know that many new people. If you are going to the gym with a partner it might lead to the two of you talking and focusing less on getting a great workout.

5. Educate yourself.
Your comfort zone might be protecting your from imaginary dangers. Maybe things aren’t as difficult or scary as you imagine? Do a bit of research. Getting some good information can dissipate quite a bit of your fear and nervousness.
Do a bit of Googling. Read books and blogs. Ask someone who has been there before. By reading/hearing about what others that have done the same thing you are about to do saw, heard, felt and did you can not only lessen negative feelings but also get some very valuable and practical tips.

6. Awash your mind with positive memories.
Realise it can be fun to get out of your comfort zone despite what your mind and feelings might be telling you before you get started. Think back to the previous times when you have broken out of your comfort zone. Focus on the positive memories, when you got out there, when you took a chance. And it wasn’t so bad, it was actually fun and exciting and something new to you.

A lot of times we automatically play back our negative experiences – or negative interpretations of events – in our minds before we are about to do something. And we forget about the positive memories and our previous, positive achievements. Avoid that trap. Let the good memories flow through your mind instead and let things become easier.

7. Use other methods to pump yourself up.
Besides remembering positive memories, there are a whole bunch of things you can do to pump up your emotional state temporarily. Here is a small list of such tips within in this list:

Use Music. Listen to uplifting and motivational music.

Use Your Body. How you use your body affects how you feel. Move in a confident way and you’ll soon feel more confident. Move in an excited way and you’ll soon feel more excited.

Use Your Imagination. Close your eyes. Visualize how great everything will unfold. How wonderful and excited you will feel. This is a whole lot more useful than seeing in your mind how everything will turn out badly.

Use Guided Meditation. I like Talking to Win and Self-Esteem Supercharger by Learning Strategies. They are useful for giving you a positive boost for a couple of days.

Use Your Breathing. Not exactly a way to pump yourself up but rather to calm yourself down quickly.

If you want to succeed at a higher level then you need to continually challenge yourself. Keep trying something new.

Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Giving Thanks at Thanksgiving

I have child and frequently struggle with how to teach him about gratitude and contentment. Frankly, it’s something I struggle with myself. So the Thanksgiving week carries with it that annual opportunity to teach them (and remind myself) about the things for which to be grateful. I don’t want the week to pass without having communicated with my child that Thanksgiving is much, much more than days off of school, lots of good food and a few football games on television.

It’s helpful to remember the origins of the holiday, so here’s a brief refresher course on Thanksgiving.

On September 6, 1620, a ship with just over 100 people on board left the shores of England en route to America. On board were Pilgrims—men, women and children in search of freedom from the religious persecution they had endured in Europe. Freedom they were willing to travel a world away to obtain.

However, that freedom came at a high price. Their cramped vessel sailed for two months across the Atlantic Ocean before reaching the shore of their new homeland. On their ship, the Mayflower, passengers had to endure wind-tossed seas and storms, scurvy and even death before sighting land.

Once ashore, the passengers and crew, many disease-ridden from the voyage, set about making a new home in a strange and unknown landscape. Having landed at Plymouth Rock (located in what would become known as Massachusetts) in November, it was not long before temperatures began to fall. Imagine facing that cold season having to build a colony and gather food with limited supplies, while you and/or many of your fellow settlers battled sickness and disease. By springtime, only half of the colonists had survived.

The Pilgrims' sacrifice was a high price to pay for the freedom they sought: thousands of miles away from civilization, harsh untamed country, dozens dying. All in support of a noble dream. And yet the Pilgrims were grateful.

As spring and summer rolled on the survivors were able plant crops with the help of local Indians and by fall, they had an abundance of food. They expressed that gratitude as a community and invited the Indians who had helped them to join in their three-day harvest feast and festival.

Fast forward to today.

I’m betting that if the Pilgrims who celebrated on that first Thanksgiving could see the dissatisfaction and frustration so often expressed at this time of year, despite the abundance we enjoy, they would truly be perplexed.

The Pilgrims had to struggle with how to meet their most basic human needs. They needed food, they needed shelter—they needed to survive the winter.

Here’s what I need to remind myself of—at a minimum, our basic human needs are being met. It’s likely that everyone reading this column knows where their next meal is coming from. It’s likely that none of us are particularly concerned about what the temperature will be outside when we go to bed tonight. And for most of us, our assets go way beyond food and shelter.

For example, we enjoy modern conveniences like dishwashers and microwaves. We drive comfortable cars. We get to choose from among an assortment of clothing what to wear each day.

And many of us will spend the holiday with family and friends gathered around us. Perhaps some more anticipated than others, but they are with us nonetheless.

Think about it. We have so much more than the Pilgrims did in that fall of 1621.

Ironically, many of the struggles we face in this modern life are directly related to all that we can enjoy. Our time and money get stretched because of an ever growing number of things to choose from. We often face self-imposed stress, particularly related to finances, because we buy bigger and better whether we can afford it or not.

Of course, it’s true that many of us face real-life problems like illness, strained relationships and others. And for some this time of year seems to amplify those things even more.

But we also have so much for which to be grateful.

I hope you’ll pardon the preachiness, but we need to slow down, give thanks, say thanks, and remember what we have—not what we don’t have.

I’m not pointing fingers because I’m in no position to do so. I am guilty of the very attitude I’ve described.

But all of us—and especially our children—will find life so much more enjoyable and meaningful when we learn the discipline of gratitude. (And it is a discipline, by the way. It does not come naturally.)

There’s a story to be told here—to our children and ourselves. The Pilgrims showed us how to be grateful for the simple things in life and to do so in the face of great sacrifice. They had so little, but were grateful in spite of it all. How can we who have so much not also be drawn to gratitude for all that we enjoy?

Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Overcoming Self Criticism-Negative Thoughts and You

Self criticism, why do we do it and how do we stop it?

Self criticism is one of the worst forms of criticism there is. Who else is better at telling you how, fat, and ugly, stupid or incapable you are then YOU? Self criticism is something that lowers our self esteem by confirming beliefs that we hold within our subconscious minds. So how does it work? And how easy is it to change our thoughts patterns so that we can hold positive and encouraging dialogue with ourselves and ultimately change our beliefs? This article aims to answer these questions.

What is self criticism?

Self criticism is the negative internal dialogue that you hold with yourself within your mind. It is the voice that is constantly judging, comparing, abusing and being negative.

How does it work?

Each of us holds a personal belief system which is made up of our values and laws that we use to bounce ideas off to make personal decisions. It is the responsibility of our subconscious mind to communicate with our conscious mind to decide on our behavior, thoughts and feelings.

When you believe something, your mind will actively search out information to support you, even when this belief is negative. This is done by your sub-conscious asking the conscious mind to ‘keep a look out’ for things that will determine the belief as true.

When these belief systems are negative, such as ‘I am fat and unlovable’ our minds become biased and begin to interpret neutral information into supporting evidence. The more information we find to support these beliefs the more we reassure ourselves that we are right. These negative beliefs are also termed limiting beliefs and are limiting because they are not true. They are simply just beliefs.

Where does it come from?

Self criticism can come from early childhood experiences deriving from issues of abandonment, neglect and abuse. However, it is not necessary to have been through childhood trauma to experience low self esteem and forms of self criticism. Some people are naturally harder on themselves such as high achievers and ‘Type A Personalities’. “Type A individuals can be described as impatient, excessively time-conscious, insecure about their status, highly competitive, hostile and aggressive, and incapable of relaxation” (en.wikipedia.org).

Who can change it?

Fortunately, the power of change to your life lives within your own hands. You have every tool you need to change your life. All you need is an open and willing mind and a bit of time and energy for dedication.

How do we change it?

The key is awareness. A lot of people get stuck in old habits and are totally unaware they are doing the things they do. If you can become aware of when you are verbally beating yourself up you can actively make the choice to stop.

Instead of saying ‘you’re fat and ugly’ try saying ‘you look nice today’. Even if you don’t believe it, your mind will begin to change. Every time it hears something nice about itself, it goes out to support the statement and eventually starts to build a series of self-evidence.

Think of your mind as a friend. You wouldn’t let your best friend judge and abuse you so don’t treat yourself in this way.

Have the relationship with yourself that you would like to have with others, kind, compassionate, considerate and understanding.

A simple Exercise

1. Start be writing down three things you would like to believe about yourself for example I am worthy of true love, I am a beautiful and creative person, I am happy and I deserve happiness.

2. Print this out and put it in places where you will read it often for example stick it on the mirror you get changed in front of, on the fridge, on the toilet door.

3. When you catch yourself being negative, say those three things to yourself five times until the negative dialogue disappears.

4. Do this every time you hear your self put you down until you no longer talk to yourself in a negative way.

Simple daily exercises can change the way you think. When you are being positive you force your perception of the world and your internal beliefs to be positive.

Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good

Monday, November 23, 2009

Silence your Inner Critic

"We are what we think about all day long." Ralph Waldo Emerson. That is the simplest definition of self-esteem. We have an inner voice that speaks to us consciously and unconsciously all the time. When our inner voice becomes and stays critical, it drags us down until we cannot have adequate love or esteem for ourselves.

"Love is the power which produces love." Erich Fromm. We must love ourselves to be able to love others. We all have to deal with our inner critical voice at some time or another. Here are some excellent ways to bring more love into your life by stopping your inner critic from getting in the way.

Stopping Your Inner Critic

Everyone has an inner critic. Our self-esteem and self image are developed by how we talk to ourselves. All of us have conscious and unconscious memories of all the times we felt bad or wrong – they are part of the unavoidable scars of childhood. This is where the inner critical voice gets started. We also have an inner voice that has our best interest at heart. Listen to the good inner voice. How we respond to our good inner voice determines how we feel. When we don’t listen we feel bad. When we follow its lead with faith that it is guiding us towards what is best for us, we feel good.

How do you stop your inner critic?

Before you can disarm the critic, you have to know him. Secrecy is his greatest strength. So if you can get really good at hearing and identifying his voice, you will have won a major victory. Remember that every time the critic attacks he is doing you real psychological harm. He is further wounding your sense of worth and making it harder to feel competent and happy in the world. You can’t afford what he is doing to you. It’s costing you too much.

Analyze your critical thoughts. As you analyze your critical thoughts, determine what they help you feel or help you avoid feeling; you’ll begin to see a pattern to the attacks. One person may find his critic's primary function is to help him atone for guilt. Someone else may experience a critic whose main effort is to provide achievement motivation. Another person’s critic may help desensitize her to the fear of rejection. Or a critic may harangue you to stay on the straight and narrow path. When you become aware of the theme or themes your critic uses, you are ready to fight back.

Some of the times to catch your inner critic are: when you are feeling depressed or down on yourself, meeting strangers, contact with people you find sexually attractive, situations in which you have made a mistake, situations in which you feel criticized and defensive, situations in which you feel hurt or someone has been angry at you, and conversations with parents or anyone who might be disapproving.

Disarming the critic involves three steps: (1) unmasking his purpose, (2) talking back, and (3) making him useless.

There are few things more effective for winning arguments than to suddenly unmask your opponent’s ulterior motives. A classic example is tobacco company "research" that finds no link between cigarette smoking and heart disease. Since the ulterior motives of the tobacco industry are clear, few people take their arguments seriously. Getting clear about the critic’s function makes everything he says less believable. You know his ulterior motive. No matter how he rants and raves, you’ve exposed his secret agenda and therefore feel less vulnerable to him. Remember that the critic attacks you because his voice is in some way being reinforced. When you are able to identify the role your critic plays in your psychological life, when you are able to call his game, you are beginning to seriously undermine the credibility of his message.

People with very low self-esteem have a more vicious and demoralizing inner critic. Low self-esteem robs you of your confidence. You no longer trust your ability to cope or make decisions. Risks stop being challenging; they’re scary. Since you can’t live up to your own critical voice, you’re also often critical of others. There are several things you can do to diminish your negative inner critic. Research indicates that to change behavior, it is more effective to stop telling yourself negative things than to just tell yourself positive things. It’s not so much the power of positive thinking as it is the power of non-negative thinking. So how do you stop telling yourself negative things? Read and try the following:

1.Hear your inner critic. Catch him in the act. You can’t change anything you don’t know is there. If you’re not paying attention to it, you’re actually reinforcing it. Once you hear your inner critic and know your vulnerable times you can then learn how to "turn off" and disarm it..

2. Talk back and get angry at the inner critic: Here are some examples of how to talk back:
This is poison. Stop it!
These are lies.
These are lies my father told me.
No more put-downs.
Shut up!
Get off my back!
Stop this garbage!

Note: Choose a short statement that helps you feel angry. It’s good to get mad. (use profanity if you feel like it) Mentally scream at the critic so that you can drown him out with your anger and indignation.

3. Try thought stoppage: Tell the critic to stop. Stop ruminating. Get up, move, get a drink of water.

4. Use attention shift: Look outside. Look at people around you. Look at any object nearby and study it intently. Turn worry over to higher power

5. Then tidy up: Put the worry in a shoe box on the top shelf of the closet in your mind and pack it away. Schedule time to worry. Write worries down and schedule time to think them over. When repetitive thoughts occur again say STOP I’ll worry about this at (name a specific time.)

6. Now ask the price: What price have I paid to listen to the critical voice? Make a list of the ways the critic has hurt you in relationships, work and self-esteem. The price may be external or internal.

Now you must replace the inner critic with your positive voice. Use a self compliment or a pre-selected affirmation. Counter the negative talk with positive. Have a routine where you regularly work to boost your self confidence. Carry the affirmations with you in a notebook, journal or on index cards. Take time to review them, particularly when self-doubt is hammering away at you.

Just do it, as the Nike slogan exclaims. I often find the best way to overcome my inner critic is having to do something. My determination overcomes my self-doubts.

If none of the above works for you try putting a rubber band around your wrist and snap it each time your inner critic speaks. Mentally scream "Stop it!" while snapping the rubber band. The sharp stinging sensation breaks the chain of negative thoughts and acts as a punisher so that the critic is less likely to attack in the near future. The important thing is to catch the critic just as he starts. It takes about 21 days to change a habit. Be consistent with this behavior and you will have more love in your life starting with yourself.

There is no quick fix for silencing the inner voice. However, if you determine to take the step to overcome the doubts, that voice can become a faint whisper or silent altogether.

Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Expressing Gratitude

Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." Albert Schweitzer

Whatever life holds for us, we are indebted.

For life, for enjoyment, for happiness, peace, for well being.
For everything that we have, are and are going to be.
It is a privilege to be alive.
To be able to live and enjoy and give.
From the time of birth, we are in debt to a million influences.
To our miraculous physical creation – a million chemical reactions, transformations and creative forces.
To the people who fed us from the bottle, changed our diapers, cuddled us and gave us the physical touch that we needed, clothed us when we couldn't have done so ourselves …
We could have perished otherwise….
Clean water.
Fresh air.
Warm clothes and cuddly blankets.
Clean hygienic surroundings.
Roof over our heads.
Those who have touched and supported us mentally emotionally when we did not know any better.

No doubt, some experiences may have left emotional and physical scars- but for the most part there was some good.

The fact that we exist in this universe- makes us indebted to the creator who gave us life

Gratitude for not only the good things in our life, but also the problems, our mistakes.

And when we realize there is a loving source behind everything, we can be grateful.

Also for our surroundings, the wonder and beauty of nature that is immaculate.

When we feel gratitude, and acknowledge the source, we allow ourselves to feel joy and peace. We feel complete. The circle is complete. We have been given, we receive and we appreciate in gratitude.

Even the poorest of the poor can be rich if they have gratitude.

For the breath the breathe, the life they have, the little comfort they enjoy.
The little that the poor have is better than a feast at the rich with no gratitude or happiness.
Gratitude is wealth. Gratitude is joy.
Gratitude brings out the best in others and in us.
Gratitude releases the negative and brings in the positive.
We cannot be grateful without forgiving another.
We cannot be grateful and hold grudges and thoughts of retribution or revenge.

If someone has caused us to suffer loss or damaged us or our possessions to some degree and to this day cannot repay, should we be grateful?

Before we can experience gratitude in the face of wrong, we have to experience forgiveness. Of the event, the perpetuator, and of ourselves. Then we can go on and be grateful.

"When we harbor negative emotions toward others or toward ourselves, or when we intentionally create pain for others, we poison our own physical and spiritual systems….The challenge .. is to refine our capacity to love others as well as ourselves and to develop the power of forgiveness. Carolyn Myss, Anatomy of the Spirit

Underlying all this is belief.

Belief that all exists for our good.
Even if something terrible has happened.

Joni Eareckson was able to express gratitude in the face of the most devastating event that can happen – an accident that caused the loss of use of both arms and legs, leaving her totally dependent on another for her most basic needs. In gratitude she has written books on her life after the tragedy carried on living again.

Zig Ziglar expressed gratitude even in his darkest days of grieving when his daughter Susan passed away. In gratitude for the memories that she was able to give when she was alive. And in gratitude to God who has a plan for his life. He was able to carry on living through the pain, and embrace life again.

Gratitude is not an extraneous emotion that can be done with.
It is essential to our well being physically emotionally mentally and spiritually
It is the cornerstone of peace joy and connection to the source of all love and peace,

In gratitude we communicate with our creator.

For all that there is, that was and that will be.
Our creator has created us in love.
We reciprocate this in love and gratitude.
It is expressed in the love we give to ourselves.
It is expressed in the quality of our work, the depth of our experiences.
It is expressed in our relationships- the love we give to our fellow men because of the love which has been given to us.

If we can be grasp this fact, that we are expressing gratitude not only to the people who helped us, but knowing that behind it all, the orchestrating of all events is a wonderful and loving creator, we can continue to have the ability to be grateful.

In the face of whatever happens, there will be gratitude.

There is always something to be grateful for.

Whatever circumstance we are in, food will taste better, colors will look brighter, scents will smell better, water will taste sweeter, burdens will be lighter.

And if we focus on this, the thought and gratitude expands and it will attract more blessings and abundance.

This is the essence of the Law of attraction at work.

In acknowledgment of and together with a higher creative force for good.

Friday, November 20, 2009

How to Increase Your Wealth - By Changing Your Mindset

When it comes to the world's wealthiest people, you will easily find that they have some commonalities that allow them to attract money into their lives with relative ease. If you find that you are lacking in your ability to create wealth, then you might want to pay attention here. After all, why not allow yourself to see what it is that separates the wealthy from the average in terms of money and wealth?

Here are a couple of tips to change your mindset and begin to increase YOUR wealth:

1. Formulate a specific plan on how you will increase your wealth. Just wanting for it or wishing for it to happen is NOT enough. You have to be able to create a blueprint that will allow you to attract money into your life. And no, buying lottery tickets does not count as a real plan. Instead, you have to develop a vision, and work towards making that vision YOUR reality. Here at Every Month A Million we have created that blueprint for you.

2. Never, ever doubt your ability to create wealth in your life. Those that do strike it rich have confidence in their abilities to make it happen and they do not allow that confidence to waiver. If you really want to make a wealthy life for yourself, then you have to develop a strong sense of faith and confidence.
My Daily Dose Of Good will give you that confidence and faith you need.

3. Do not be passive about it. When you finally decide to make yourself rich, then you have to take determined action towards your financial goal. Now, there may be a few hiccups along the way, but these things are just a test of YOUR determination.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Life Stinks? How To Detach From Your Garbage Truck.

Life stinks.

If that statement bubbled up in your thoughts recently then you may be attached to life decaying garbage truck thinking. Simply put, if you stuff your mind with garbage you will create stinky outcomes. If you focus upon all that is bad in your life you will only add to the garbage dump that is becoming your daily experience.

Garbage in, garbage out.

Let's say you're rushing to get to work on the 405 freeway when another driver cuts in front of you and slams on the brakes. You toot your horn forcefully to give him a warning as you avoid a whopper of a fender bender. He responds with a slew of obscenities and the ubiquitous finger punctuator. It happens - a lot - if you live in a busy metropolis such as Los Angeles.

In that moment you have a choice. You can raise your fickle finger of fate in response or smile and count your blessings that you're not that guy. Yikes, what a miserable way to live. By smiling you kept negative feelings and energy right where it came from - from that guy. If you responded with your own favorite flip off gesture you would have taken on his garbage as yours. Pissed off, your focus is negatively directed. You will cloud your vision with so much dust and dirt and wonder why you cannot see.

"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses." - Ziggy, Tom Wilson comic strip panel

Where focus goes, energy flows.

Some people are like garbage trucks. They run around packed to the hilt with garbage. Their life energy is full of anger, frustration and disappointment. Their conversations are filled with complaints. They find excuses and reasons why they can't be, do or have what they want blaming others for their misfortune. The acronym for Finding Excuses And Reasons is FEAR and when you're in fear you Fight Everything And Reek of stinky experiences.

With a mind full of garbage these car wrecks waiting to happen will constantly seek places to dump their load. And they will dump it on you. They can dump all they want. It is up to you whether or not you take on their garbage for yourself. If you take on the garbage that can be found in the misguided lives of many people and events in your life then you, too, become a stinky garbage truck creating rotten experiences spreading your trash and stinking up your life. What's worse is as queen of your own compost heap you'll get used to the smell.
Be mindful of your thoughts. Pay attention to the words that come out of your mouth. Are you a trash talker? I'm not talking about using a four letter word or two to add a little color to your expression - as long as it's positive. Are you focused upon what's not right in your life and in your world? What you lack instead of what you have? Are you finding a lot to complain about? If so, you're attached to a stinky garbage truck life perspective picking up and dumping more trash every where you go.

"Thoughts are things; they have tremendous power. Thoughts of doubt and fear are pathways to failure. When you conquer negative attitudes of doubt and fear you conquer failure. Thoughts crystallize into habit and habit solidifies into circumstances." - Bryan Adams, Canadian rock singer-songwriter and photographer

To let go of the garbage bags you've been carrying around to stink up the place, find the value in every experience, good and bad. This gem is often disguised as a life-affirming lesson to be learned. Take the note and apply the lesson to clean up your act or create more of the good stuff. Speak and act in the direction of your dreams and your days will reflect the sweetest smelling rose in the garden of life.

Every Month a Million and the Daily Dose Of Good

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Positive Thinking - Mind your Thoughts

Have you ever thought about the fact that there is never a moment when you are not thinking—that whatever happens in this world begins with a thought? Here are five simple steps to help you manage your thoughts and achieve success and happiness in life.

BE AWARE OF YOUR THOUGHTS

Start watching your thoughts, without identifying with them. Watch them as a detached observer.

You may even get carried away by your thoughts. Never mind. It is natural—especially for a beginner. What you need to do, whenever you detect this, is to take yourself out of your thoughts immediately and get back to the process of thought-watching once again as a detached observer.

Do not get perturbed by your thoughts. Don't condemn or justify them. Don't try to control them. Just watch them. After some time, you will come to know what your negative thoughts are about. Now concentrate on all the positive thoughts that you can replace these thoughts with, in order to switch over to a more positive attitude towards them. Our attempt should be to cut down the quantity of unnecessary thoughts and to improve the quality of the necessary ones. Keep yourself busy. Simple food, deep breathing and relaxation exercises also help manage your thoughts easily. Expect less from others.

IDENTIFY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

Keep a logbook. Jot down your thoughts. Write down happenings of the day. Were they positive, appropriate and adequate or were they confused, superfluous and negative? Could you notice the interval between the happening and your response? If yes, could your foresee your negative thoughts? If not, what can, you do to notice this interval? Was there any discrepancy between words and thoughts? If yes, was it justified—could you find a better way of harmonizing your words and thoughts? Was the verbal response necessary, appropriate and adequate?

Sometimes we talk to others, or simply to ourselves, or think about something just like that. Ask yourself what provoked you to take the initiative to start a conversation. Was it essential? What was the purpose? Did it serve the purpose? If no, then why not? Did it use any unnecessary and emotionally charged negative words? Were the words used in thinking, inner dialogue or in talking to the other person, precise, appropriate, adequate and positive? Did you feel happy or satisfied after the interaction with the other person or with your inner self? Can you find ways of improving your performance as a thinker or a speaker?

Keep in mind that logbooks are meant to get you started and make you aware of your negative thoughts. It is far more important, however, to be aware of these thoughts when they are just taking birth, rather than leave them for later analysis.Be conscious of the interval that separates the event from thoughts with which you respond to the event.

NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

Imagine a strong sun radiating a powerful light. Use this mental sunshine to kill your negative, undesirable thoughts, emotions and images as and when these are detected. Take this sun as a mighty weapon which is always on the alert and which automatically chases any negative thought and kills it with a flash and then withdraws. Don't forget to imagine that this sun is your faithful friend and is extremely kind to you.

Keep a note of how many times you need to call the sun for its services. There will be a gradual increase, followed by a drastic fall. This is so because initially the number of times you call on your mental sunshine increases gradually as your awareness of your thoughts grows.

The drastic fall is because what we do not use (the negative thoughts, in this case), we tend to lose.

REPLACE WlTH POSITIVE THOUGHTS

A vital step in this process is the immediate replacement of all negative thoughts by the positive ones. The shorter the interval between the disinfecting and the replacing stage, the better it is. Longer intervals between these two events weaken the impact of the positive thoughts. Our success and happiness depend on identifying our goals precisely and chasing them effectively, both of which, in turn, depend on how well we manage our thoughts. The quality of our thoughts decides the quality of the outcomes we land up with. Thoughts have the power to materialize themselves because they are instrumental in channeling energy towards the physical or mental condition they are about.

External situations and the remarks of others can harm us through our thoughts—but only to the extent our thoughts allow them to. So think positive. Talk positive. Read positive quotable quotes of great people. Surround yourself with posters and cards bearing positive messages. Keep them on your table. Hang them on the walls. Paste them near the bathroom mirror and on the doors. Stick them on your watchstrap. Keep them on the refrigerator. Have them on the dashboard of the car. Slip them under the glass of the table in front of you. Slide them in the inner side of the briefcase you carry. Find other suitable places where you are bound to look at them every day.

Remember that these messages will stale with prolonged use. So keep changing their position and contents. Do not let the momentum of these thoughts get weaker.

Use them appropriately in response to specific negative thoughts. The replacing thought must be positive in every sense. Apart from being inspiring and assuring, it should also be suggestive. For example, if you confront a negative thought, "I can never succeed", it will not suffice if you replace it with "Sun! Attack! I can succeed". This kind of replacement may not be effective, for it sounds like wishful thinking and lacks assurance, depth and penetrating certainty. It is better to break your replacing thought down into more definite and specific steps or instructions.

The replacing thought in this case may be: "I can succeed. By earlier failures I have become rich in experience and have come to know specific areas that require special attention. I will jot them down and systematically think of the ways in which I can improve. I shall plan. And then stick to it. There is absolutely no reason why I should not succeed. I will assess, plan, execute, monitor, modify and carryon with the plan, and finally succeed. In fact, I think that success has already been achieved and only time separates my thought of success and its transformation into reality. I am committing myself to all that is required to achieve success. I am a river that knows no obstacles. I shall find my way anyhow—and if there is none I shall make one.

REINFORCE

Thoughts like these can be further reinforced with emotions and images. All this may take longer than one single replacing thought, but these are far more effective since they allow you to divide the desired target into workable units. Focus on a pleasant event that took place in the past. This way your thoughts will turn positive and your emotions and images will reinforce each other, resulting in an overall positive attitude.

Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Determination and Success

How important is determination and drive for success? Drive is a common characteristic among successful people. The good news is that just like luck and success, drive is a continuum. There’s examples where people with minimal drive, but they enjoy what they do, experience great success. On the other end of the spectrum, you find ruthless obsession.

What if you aren’t naturally driven? Here again, there’s good news. You can adopt successful strategies. What you lack in personality, you can make up for in approach.

In this post I write about the role of drive and determination in success.

  • Drive is the one common characteristic among successful people. The one thing all successful people share is drive and determination.
  • Drive ranges from enjoyment to ruthless obsession. Drive can range from simply enjoying the path to what folks would consider “a little mad,” meaning a ruthless obsession for results.
  • A desire for personal power. One cause of drive is a pursuit of personal power, or an extension of their personality.
  • Enslaved by an idea. Some people become consumed by an idea. Their drive is fueled by the passion of bringing an idea to life.
  • Determination to finish the job. Some people are fueled by a passion for finishing what they started. They can’t stand the idea of a leaving something half-finished.
  • You don’t have to change your personality. If you’re not naturally driven, you don’t have to try to change your personality. Instead, adopt proven success strategies that characterize successful people.
  • Adopt success strategies of successful people. You can adopt proven strategies such as becoming more single minded and focused, a strong sense of direction, don’t take no for an answer, and become better at saying what you don’t like.

What I’ve learned through experience is that while drive is important, you need to know what you’re trading. For example, try to find balance between your conviction and your connection, so you don’t burn bridges or leave a trail of dead bodies in your pursuit of results. Try to invest in your body, your relationships, and fun during the pursuit of your goals, so that you enjoy the process. Goals are a vehicle. They are a means to an end, but not the end themselves. Be careful not to compromise your values along your journey.

Drive and Determination is The One Common Characteristic of Successful People

Successful people are often very single-minded and determined. Indeed, it would be possible to pick this out as the one characteristic common to almost all successful people. It can take the form of drive: if you want something hard enough, you will get it. it can take the form of ruthlessness: let nothing stand between you and your goal. It can take the form of a strong sense of purpose. It can take the form of determination and persistence: accept failure only as a step on the path to success.

One Single Goal

Some people make big trade-offs in the pursuit of a single goal:

This type of determination comes close to fanaticism and what might be called ‘a little madness’. It implies a rather unnatural view of life, because one single goal becomes more important than any others. A person may be willing to sacrifice his wife, his children, his friends, his health, and even his life for this goal. At times the goal may seem very much like an obsession. At its extreme, obsession is a form of madness.

A Sense of Direction Urges Action

Having a direction helps somebody take action and gauge whether they are on track:

There are many advantages to powerful determination and a strong sense of direction. The sense of direction urges action. The sense of direction shapes the action. The sense of direction allows the value of the action to be assessed: has it got me nearer to my goal? The sense of direction allows all judgments and decisions to be made more easily: does this help me toward my goal or does this hinder me? Most people in their ordinary lives lack such a strong sense of value when taking a decision. Most people may have to take into account a soup of different factors such as family, health, enjoyment, career, etc., when making a decision. The strongly-success oriented person only takes into account one thing: the path to success.

Determination Ranges from Enjoyment to Obsession

Drive is a continuum:

As with luck there is, of course, a spectrum. At one end is the ruthless obsessed tyrant who could properly be called mad. At the other end of the spectrum is the person who enjoys what he or she is doing, enjoys his life and friends, and just seems to stumble into success (as with Nolan Bushnell, Norman Lear, or Sir Clive Sinclair). Readers may be surprised to find that most of the people in this book seem to fall into this second grouping.

Determination for Personal Power or Enslaved By an Idea

Some people are fueled by making an idea happen:

Determination and ruthlessness always seem to suggest a person who wants success and power for their own sake and as an extension of his or her personality. There is, however, another sort of obsession. This is when a person is enslaved by an idea. The person wants to see the idea work, wants to make it happen. Power, riches, and fame have virtually nothing to do with it. Determination can spring from this sort of obsession.

Determination to Finish the Job

Some people are compelled to finish what they started:

There is even a further sort of determination. This is where someone sets out to do something and takes the first few steps. There is then a determination to see things through, to finish that job. Once one block has been place on top of another, there is a compulsion to finish the building. This characteristic also becomes clear in some of the people mentioned in this book.

You Don’t Have to be Driven

Some people that aren’t naturally driven take a passive view on determination:

From a practical point of view it does matter whether we attribute success to a particular type of personality. Some people may feel that since their own personality is not ‘driven’ in this way, then there is little they can learn by reading about people who are so driven. Like the ‘luck’ explanation of success, this is defeatist and passive.

You Don’t Have to Change Your Personality

You don’t have to worry about changing your personality:

I would not want to get into an argument as to whether people can or cannot change their personalities (through awareness training, counseling, or environmental change). It is not easy for someone to become ruthless by just willing himself or herself to be ruthless … A reader can, however, try to become more single minded and more focused. Once a reader perceives that a strong sense of direction may be an ingredient for success, it is possible to do something about it (for instance, by dropping other projects).

Adopt Strategies to Improve Effectiveness

You can adopt strategies of people with determination and drive to improve your success:

A person who will not take ‘no’ for an answer and writes ten letters runs the danger of being a nuisance and a pest but may be more successful than the person who is turned off by first refusal. Such things may arise naturally from a personality or they may be adopted as strategy. You cannot will yourself to have a foul temper (even if this often seems to be most useful for success), but you can become much better at saying what you do not like. It may well be that having success-oriented characteristics by virtue of your personality is much more effective — nevertheless adopting some of them as deliberate strategies can also be valuable.

Every Month a Million and the Daily Dose Of Good

Monday, November 16, 2009

Writing Your Personal Vision/Mission Statement

I recently spent some time revising my personal vision/mission statement. While doing this, it occurred to me that the vision I have for my work is closely related to my personal vision. Having a job that reflects my personal vision is powerful because it has allowed me to create a business life for myself that truly reflects who I am. Companies know all about vision and mission statements and getting their employees on board. Vision and mission statements propel the company in the direction that they want, and ultimately towards success. Many of us have spent countless hours working on these statements for our employers, and doing our part to contribute to their vision as a part of the team.

Much like a business, we, as human beings have a purpose or mission in life. What if we spent as much time getting to know who we are and what we want for ourselves? A personal vision/mission statement is the framework for creating a powerful life. Unlike a goal, a vision or mission rarely changes. It is a reason for our existence. It guides us in the decisions we make and the directions we take.

Your Personal Vision

Close your eyes and picture yourself in the future. It may be a few months or years from today. See the person you are; what you are doing, who you are with, what you have accomplished, what is important to you, and how people relate to you. How does it feel to be you? Feel the person you are, your true self. Now, open your eyes and see your life and yourself in the present, through those eyes. You will begin to notice the changes you need to make to honour this vision and lead a powerful life.

A Personal Vision is a picture of your True Self in the future. An effective personal vision includes all the important elements of your life and career; it is who you want to be, what you want to do, how you want to feel, what you want to own, and who you want to associate with. Although your personal vision helps you to see into the future, it must be grounded in the present. It is a statement of who you are, and who you are becoming. It is the framework for the process of creating your life.

Your vision is where you are headed, how you get there is your mission statement.

Your Personal Mission Statement

A Personal Mission Statement is how you will manifest your Personal Vision in your daily life. It may be a few words or several pages, but it is not a “to do” list. It reflects your uniqueness and must speak to you powerfully about the person you are and the person you are becoming. Remember, it’s okay to be where you are, while heading somewhere else. In fact, the only place you can start, is where you are right now. Having a personal vision does not mean your life changes overnight. But it will change. Your personal mission statement provides the steps to get you there.

Your Personal Mission Statement should answer three questions:

1. What is my life about (Purpose)?

2. What do I stand for (Values)?

3. What actions do I take to manifest my Purpose and my Values?

Stephen Covey writes that "an empowering Mission Statement…

• Represents the deepest and best within you. It comes out of a solid connection with your deep inner life.
• Is the fulfillment of your own unique gifts. It's the expression of your unique capacity to contribute.
• Addresses and integrates the four fundamental human needs and capacities in the physical, social/emotional, mental and spiritual dimensions.
• Deals with all the significant roles in your life. It represents a lifetime balance of personal, family, work, community-whatever roles you feel are yours to fill.
• Is written to inspire you-not to impress anyone else. It communicates to you and inspires you on the most essential level."

“Creating a Personal Mission Statement will be, without question, one of the most powerful and significant things you will ever do to take leadership of you life. In it you will identify the most important roles, relationships, and things in your life – who you want to be, what you want to do, to whom and what you want of give your life, the principles you want to anchor your life to, the legacy you want to leave. All the goals and decisions you will make in the future will be based upon it. It’s like deciding first which wall you want to lean your ladder of life against, and then beginning to climb. It will compass – a strong source of guidance amid the stormy seas and pressing, pulling currents of you life.”Stephen Covey, author or The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

A Personal Vision/Mission can help propel you into a new job, or make your present job work better for you. The more connected your Personal Vision/Mission is to yourself, the better it can guide your career and your life.

Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Why You Must Bring Congruency Into Your Life


When you look at your life, how do you feel about it? Does it appear to be chaotic, confusing, overwhelming at times? Or does it appear to be a unified, continuous, joyful whole, progressing triumphantly towards your life goals?

Most of us live somewhere between these two extremes. Some days we’re “on a roll”, full of confidence and unstoppable. Some days we just seem to be running round in circles, burning all our energy, full of doubt and apprehension and getting nowhere.

So how to we get to spend more time in unstoppable mode, building our self esteem?

One key thing that we need to do is to live our lives congruently…


Lack of congruency is bad for your health!


Do you tend to compartmentalise your life – maybe you break it up so that your work life you do what has to be done to earn a living, in your home life you do what you enjoy and from time to time you try to make sense of it. And your health just gets a back seat.

Or maybe you break your life down in other ways – You're this person to your family and another person to your friends, someone else to your boss and so on…

When you live this way life gets complicated and stressful. You are constantly rushing from A to B, juggling different balls, trying to be different people in different contexts – and what happens when inevitably when two compartments that you have so carefully created overlap - your family meets your friends or your boss!!! Very stressful.

Trying to maintain all these different compartments burns a tremendous amount of mental and even physical energy. When you spend too long in one of your compartments the others start to feel neglected and your only solution is work even harder to juggle all the balls and keep them all in the air. Inevitably one gets dropped, all too often it’s your health or your personal relationships, and then you have real problems.


There has to be a better way to live


Luckily there is a better way to live – make sure you live your life congruently.

What if you only had 1 ball to juggle instead of 10 – you’d have no problem keep it in the air would you? That would be so easy – you could do it confidently, your self esteem would rise as you mastered the skill and you could even learn a few fancy tricks:-).

Carrying that analogy over to your life then, congruency is simply the decision to stop compartmentalizing your life and to start treating it as one unified whole. Making sure you live your life by one simple set of rules where everything fits together is the best form of mental self help.

It may well take you some time to rearrange yourself and your life to get into the state of congruency, but when you do, all the different areas of your life will fit together perfectly and mutually support each other. Your work will fit in with your own beliefs, your family and friends will fit together perfectly, your health and wealth will go hand in hand.

It’s time to review your life

To some extent we are all living lives that are out of balance, so take the time today to think about your life – where are the fault lines? Where are the incongruousness's? You may be a very lucky person and already have a well balanced life, but there is still room for improvement.

Then think about how you can rearrange things so that you can bring your life back into balance. What are the common themes and threads running through all areas that you can strengthen to make your life more congruent?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Manifest Desires Freely by Having No Expectations

It is a most liberating experience when you are able to live life with an attitude of no expectations. When you have expectations, you have preconceived ideas of how things should be that you are attached to. Expectation creates fear because you think what you desire may or may not happen. Free of expectations, you can just go with the flow of the universe and not be affected by the outcomes that you encounter. Every outcome can serve to move you towards greater realization of your desires.

When you are attached to an outcome, you expect things to happen at a certain time in a certain way. But when it does not happen at the expected time or in the expected manner, then what results is a feeling of fear. Having expectations about how your desires should manifest will produce negative feelings when your expectations are not met. That is why it is better to act on your intention without expectations about the when and how it manifests.

Fear, doubt and worry are the last things you want to experience in the process of manifesting desires. That is why the best way to create what you want is through detachment. Act on your desires with a detached involvement. You do what you are guided to do by your heart but you do not judge the rightness of your actions by the results that you get. As long as your actions are based on purpose, you have done what you were meant to do regardless of what seems to happen from it.

When the universe is in the process of working things out for the realization of your intention, there might be things that happen which make it seem as though things are not working out. It is your expectation of how things should happen that makes you think that things are not working out. But actually you are not seeing the whole picture, because what you are seeing is only a piece of the larger scheme of events where everything is really working out the way it should.

Expectation colors your perception of things. You don’t see how things are really happening when you expect them to happen a certain way. This prevents you from recognizing the good that comes your way and causes you to push it away thinking that it is evil. Without preconceived ideas to limit your perception, you are able to accept what comes your way as part of the solution to realizing what you truly desire in life. You are able to receive and not resist truth and love.

Many times we feel discouraged when things are not happening the way we want them to happen. We might even lose hope thinking that it’s not meant to be, and even give up pursuing it altogether because our actions are in vain. But we do not realize that we are right in the process of it all coming to pass, and we turn away when we are closer than we ever were before. Let go of expectations so that you can surrender to the process and let the outcome fall in place in the right way at the right time.

When we do not know how things will really turn out, we have to trust. There is no need for hope when we already know how the outcome will be like. Hope is confident expectation of good. The only expectation you need is the expectation that everything is happening for good and not evil in your life. You can expect good no matter what the outcome seems to be.

The best way to live life is to be like a little child, having no cares and expectations. You are just doing what brings you joy and expressing yourself fearlessly in every moment. You completely accept yourself and whatever is happening without judgment. You are trusting that you are always provided for and there is nothing that is stopping you from attaining all that you truly desire. You are free to live fully in the moment without worrying about the future.

Live with an attitude of no expectations and you will experience more freedom than you can imagine. Failure does not stop you anymore because it doesn’t exist in your perception. You can keep doing what you believe in simply because you are not expecting a particular outcome but you are just expressing the truth that is in you. You are able to let go of anything negative and nothing holds you back from going on in the direction of your desires.

When you hold no expectations, you are committing the outcome. You can always experience much more from a place of no expectations than from having expectations because the universe is able to do above and beyond all that you can ask and even think of. Leave the outcome in the hands of the universe, while you continue acting on your desires. Surrender to the process and know that good things come to you when you least expect them.

About the author:
James Boehm aims to help people achieve greater awareness in living and experiencing life. To evolve human consciousness to higher levels. To change lives and transform the universe. To revolutionize the way we understand the mind and reality. Because that is what governs every area of life and destiny.

Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Are Your Personal Values Aligned With Your Path to Success?

Having a clear understanding of your personal values is critical to your success. Without this knowledge you won’t know what really matters to you, what motivates you and why you are doing what you are doing. You’ll be in conflict with what you really want and your life will be unfulfilling and stressful.

If you want to be successful you need to make sure your personal values and your goals in life are aligned. If they aren’t you will struggle to find motivation and sustain the enthusiasm and energy you need to travel the road to success!

You also use your personal values to evaluate your actions, or other peoples actions, after they have taken place. When you use values in this way they can have a profound effect on your feelings. For example, if you do something that is in direct conflict with your personal core values it will leave you feeling bad about yourself.

Define Personal Values for me?

Personal values are those things that are most important to you, those things that must be true for you to lead a happy and fulfilled life. Your values are also those things that really motivate you. When you are living in accord with your personal values you find life fulfilling and satisfying.

Values are not set in stone, they usually don’t change rapidly like beliefs can, but if you think back over your life, you will be able to trace the development of personal values.

Think back to your childhood – are exactly the same things that were important to you as a child also as important to you now as an adult? How about 5 years ago, 10 years ago?

When you were a child your values probably came from parents or other significant adults. Later on, you picked up values from your peers, your social environment, and other influences you allowed in to your life. As an adult the development of personal values continues for you. However if you have values that are not serving you well, it is possible to change them!

How to List personal Values

Your personal values can be in many different areas: your values in life, work, family…

The best place to start to list personal values for you is to look at your values in life, you can look at other, more specific areas later on. Examples of life values are things like: honesty, integrity, family, freedom…

You have already seen that the definition of personal core values is simple – but discovering your personal values is much harder.

It’s so easy to confuse values with other things like beliefs. It is also very common to feel you should value something as a result of pressure from your parents and your friends when in fact it is just not a value for you.

The key is to remember that you define personal values as the things that are important to YOU…

So just sit down quietly with a piece of paper and repeatedly ask yourself the question:

“What is really important about life for me?”

Just keep asking and answering as honestly as you can – don’t answer as you think you ought to. Write down your answers.

Once you’ve written down your answers then you can try a second exercise:

Think back to a time when you were really motivated to do something, anything – go on a journey somewhere, propose to your spouse, help someone who was in difficulty, climb a mountain…

Think back into that time, imagine where you were and how you felt as you became motivated until you can discover the feeling you had at the moment you were motivated – maybe it was a desire to discover something new, love for your future spouse…

That initial emotion is almost certainly one of your core values… Write it down!

Go through these two exercises a few times until you have 10-20 values written down. Then look at them carefully. Are these really your personal values, do they represent who you really are?

Now compare them with each other, ask yourself “is this value more important to me than that value”. By doing this you will be able to arrange them into an order of importance.

Do your personal values align with your path to success?

Now you’ll know both what is really important to you in life and where your priorities are!

This puts you streets ahead of anyone who has never taken the time to do this exercise:-)

Finally ask yourself

"Am I living my life according to my values and priorities?"

If you answer "no", you need to work out what you are going to do to make sure you are living congruently?

PS … You can read more about congruency in future post here on my Daily Dose of Good my article: Why You Must Bring Congruency Into Your Life.

Every Month A Million

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Change your Perception

The mere fact that you are here with us on this site with my Daily Dose Of Good means that you are searching and there is a reason you are here. It's not a mistake you ended up here. You can begin to make different choices in your life today. We believe you are here for a reason. You are ready to know more and "see" more.

The one thing that is consistant in our lives is our belief about ourselves. When we are in full flight of an addiction or compulsion, we have lost a fundamental hold on the positive and true beliefs about who we really are and cannot see past the lies we are telling ourselves. -About ourselves.

When we pick up a drink, drug or engage in a compulsion, we are abandoning the fact that we all are perfect, spiritual beings inside, and getting caught up in the ego part of ourselves which always leads us astray. We are, as many great spiritual leaders have stated, a "double edged sword" or "a spritual being having a human experience", or as eastern philosophy understands, -we have a dual nature inside. There cannot be light without the darkness. All of nature is dual, including ourselves and the way we think about ourselves.

Everyone has struggles

There are chemical addictions and then there are compulsions, what some people want to call "personality quirks" and obsessions. We usually refer to these as alternative compulsions, and can include the obvious addictions such as gambling, sex addiction, compulsive shopping, workaholism, tobacco, weight - eating and not eating -as they say- pick your poison. We also include compulsions like reltationship addicts, people who sabotage themselves in relationships and even people who are addicted to "not enough" in both ways, -either they never have enough or they can never seem to get ahead no matter what they do. This is a person living in a consciousness of lack.

All of these are behaviors which have manifested themselves in different ways but lead back to the same core problem - what you believe about yourself, and how you react to the things that happen to you in life, whether your choice or not. It is always your choice to decide what your reaction will be.

Inner Talk

We argue inside on a daily basis. Minute to minute, you are talking inside, and the words and thoughts you have are forming YOU. The ego part of ourselves is in charge, and the real part of ourselves, our true identity -who we really are, is being buried by the part of us who is agressive, "right", fearful, apprehensive, "in charge", passive agressive, -all the extremes of our behavior which leave us "unbalanced" and looking to fill up our emptiness with something outside of ourselves.

Inside, we all want to be whole, and every cell in our being is crying out for this "rightness" within you to come to the surface and live an effective, fully functioning life that you can be happy about. Yes, you can. You CAN start to change your mind about yourself, regardless of the circumstances that are presenting themselves to you right now.

It is hard to see it when we are "in it" but if you can hang on to that little ray of positive energy that is waiting right there for you to tap into it, you can do it.

Is it all as simple as understanding and then doing? Yes. Changing your mind can begin today. Affirmations work, changing our limited negative self talk works. As you think, you are. As you think, you do. The concept is simple and at the heart of all succesful ways of thought, goal setting techniques and successful living. It is the basis of all of the books out now on "Intention". Meaning, that which we give our attention to, manifests in our lives. Really think about that statement and you will find it to be true. If you can begin to change your mind about YOU, and who you really are, you CAN change your life, and you can begin to do it today. You only have to want to.

It starts at the beginnning

Well, really? Might sound elementary, but a truer statement can't be found! The YOU that is here right now is the culmination of your experiences and beliefs about those experiences in your life. You are a sum total of not only what your life and experiences have made you, more importantly is that you are the person you are because of how your belief system has formed and what you believe to be true about those experiences, whether real or imagined, it doesn't matter. Siblings can grow up with the exact same parents and because they believe differently about the experiences growing up, they are completely different people. We have all seen this. We have also observed that there are trends, actions, abilities, ideas and lifestyles passed on from generation to generation to our parents from their parents, and to us. This is our family of origin and brings issues of its own to the table. This cannot be an "excuse" to act the way you do, but mighth be a parital reason why. Once we find this out, or realize this has happened, -it is time to stop the behavior with US, now...and rewrite the script of our lives. All the world is a stage, said a famous playwrite, and the movie or the play that are our lives have been orchestrated by us...whether we've been aware of it or not. Yes, there are certain circumstances that have occured that were beyond our control, BUT we chose the way we reacted to these events and circunstances, whether on our "auto pilot" or consciously...it has all been a choice. The good news is that WE CAN MAKE DIFFERENT CHOICES BEGINNING TODAY - no matter what the situation is right now.

What has happened is that those beliefs and ideas about what happens in our lives, determines our reactions to those events. And is the basic YOU that lives a certain way through them. People react differently to the same set of circumstances. How many times in our lives have we said that we "wouldn't be like that" and end up being exactly what we said we wouldn't be?

Who you really are - Live the life you were meant to live

Have you ever thought "I'm living someone else's life, not the life I thought I would lead". When we come here, we have a mission of growth that we really want to experience in life. When we get off track, we are unhappy and our real selves are doing all it can to imerge. Ego over-rides our lives like a virus in a computer. Pretty soon, you can't do anything with it that makes sense. We think that in order to cope with the pain and dissappointment that we've understood to be our experience, we need something to make us feel better. And the loop starts. We even argue for our limitations. "I can't help it, that's just the way I am"...Insert your own line. We all have something to work on in this life. We are all meant to live life as fully functioning, happy people being, and doing. Learning to change your mind, let go of all the things that are making us miserable, instead of hanging on to them can lead to the live you are really meant to live. Turn your "curse" into your blessing. You have an opportunity to turn a glaring obsession or disfunction into your greatest asset. You can live the life that YOU imagine.

Every Month A Million

Monday, November 9, 2009

Paving it Forward – Put Yourself in The Passing Lane

This is another powerful lesson I learned from Lori Duff one of my mentors here at Every Month A Million with our Daily Dose Of Good. My life went from mediocre to phenomenal with this amazing technique of conscious creation.

People spend more time choosing what they are going to wear in the morning than they do choosing how they will connect with people, how they will feel, or what they will accomplish. Pre-paving is consciously choosing how you want to look, live and feel through every part of your day and every part of your life. You might say, “If only life were so simple.” I say, “Yes, it is”, and I will prove it to you.

Pre-paving is telling the Universe what you want before it happens. It is a form of intention that “lines up the energy” so that you can easily manifest what you desire. Whether you realize it or not, all day you are intending, and what you intend you create. You create with your thoughts.

People spend more time choosing what they are going to wear in the morning than they do choosing how they will connect with people, how they will feel, or what they will accomplish. Pre-paving is consciously choosing how you want to look, live and feel through every part of your day and every part of your life. You might say, “If only life were so simple.” I say, “Yes, it is”, and I will prove it to you.

Pre-paving is telling the Universe what you want before it happens. It is a form of intention that “lines up the energy” so that you can easily manifest what you desire. Whether you realize it or not, all day you are intending, and what you intend you create. You create with your thoughts.

In essence, you are already pre-paving, although sometimes you have been pre-paving positively and other times negatively. What you have attracted is the result of what you have consciously or unconsciously paved forward. In other words, whatever you are prepaving, you are creating. Suddenly the idea of pre-paving catches your attention.

Pre-paving is about setting your intention

I like to explain things in terms of energy. When you know the energy behind what thoughts do to your life, you get very motivated to make a change for the positive. Imagine that you have a field of energy immediately surrounding your body, about six inches around your body if you are picturing it.

Every thought you think enters this energy field. This energy field is called your vibration. It is the sum of the thoughts, feelings and intentions that you are currently holding. Your vibration works as a magnet, attracting to you all of the people, events and circumstances in your life.

Your goal is to raise your vibration so you begin attracting the good things in life that you have always wanted. The moment you begin positively pre-paving, your vibration rises immediately.

How it Works

Every thought you think is recorded in the ether and starts to manifest. It manifests according to the degree of energy, conviction and power you give it. When you pre-pave with conviction and belief, you make significant changes in your life in a short period of time. In other words, you change your destiny.

A pre-pave is a statement that tells the Universe what you will do, how you will feel, or what will happen. It is a statement that you can either say verbally (loudly or softly), or you can write it down, or think it mentally.

Whichever way feels right for you is fine, but know this; the more power you put into your pre-pave, the more powerful the result. Think of a hypnotist in action. A hypnotist puts the conscious mind to sleep and within thirty seconds can have you thinking you are a red fire engine. We hypnotize ourselves every moment of the day with the thoughts we choose to hold and the words we choose to speak.

Wish and Reality

The sub-conscious mind cannot distinguish between reality and a wish. It also cannot take a joke. When you think or say something, the sub-conscious mind says “Okay, let’s support this because it must be true”. Even when you are joking around, saying things in jest, you are creating what you are saying.

The sub-conscious mind carries within itself your entire belief system. It works on automatic pilot. It never stops, even when you are sleeping. It creates what has been programmed into it by your conscious mind. If you say things like “I can’t afford it” or “That’s the story of my life”, the subconscious mind takes this as reality and orchestrates everything around you to make it come true.

If you are joking around with your spouse and you say something to the effect of “I do everything around here”, the Universe will manifest more and more situations where you are doing more than your share around the house.

This is where pre-paving comes in. Prepaving is a conscious, positive programming of the sub-conscious mind. When you place a positive command into your sub-conscious mind, it starts working immediately toward making it happen. This is the power of your thought and spoken word.

This is the power of pre-paving. Positive pre-paving is consciously choosing your thoughts and words for a specific result. When you set a pre-pave in motion, it physically “lines up the energy” for its manifestation. What does it mean to “line up the energy”? Let’s look at the analogy of your daily commute to work. If you get in the car and pre-pave safety, the Universe will physically orchestrate circumstances around you in order to keep you safe.

On the other hand, if you do not pre-pave safety as you start your car, you personally may not have accident-consciousness, but the driver next to you may. The result is that you could wind up in an accident situation just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. How many times have you found yourself there, “the wrong place at the wrong time”? This is not by chance These things can be avoided by positive pre-paving.

When you pre-pave, you are never in the wrong place at the wrong time, because the Universe “lines up the energy” for you to be in the right place at the right time.

A Few Tips

You do not need extra time in the day to pre-pave. You are already doing it. It is a matter of practicing it consciously, practicing it positively and choosing pre-paves to create specifically what you want.

The most powerful times to pre-pave are first thing in the morning and last thing at night. These are the times that your consciousness is most powerful for creating. It is when the consciousness is changing from the wakeful state to the sub-conscious state and back again.

Unfortunately, this tends to be the time that most people worry. Worry is a negative pre-pave. Worrying at this time of night and morning is the worst negative pre-pave of all. The comforting thing to know is that a positive thought is one hundred times more powerful than a negative one.

Don’t beat yourself up if you have a fleeting negative thought. The next time you have a negative thought, immediately turn it into the opposite, positive pre-pave. Know that in an instant, you can wipe out the negative thought, one hundred fold. Imagine your life if you could turn all of your worries into positive pre-paves.

There are times when you will want to pre-pave a specific outcome that you desire because you have so clearly etched into your mind what you want. In this case, the more clearly you picture it and know what you want, the better.

There will be other times, however, when you will want to pave forward an outcome that is open-ended, not to limit yourself. I have found my greatest achievement to be when I have left the results open, shooting for the stars and reaching the moon. You will understand more as you read on and begin to practice for yourself.

Pave it forward with conviction

Feel it and mean it. Your pre-pave will be as powerful as your passion and belief. My life has been dramatically changed with pre-paving which is why I have made it the focus of my teaching. I have personally recovered from addictions, moods and a string of self-sabotaging tendencies.

My life went from mediocre to phenomenal with this amazing technique of conscious creation. I have witnessed what it does for people. Pre-paving makes a shift in your consciousness, so much that if you could see energy, you would physically see your vibration change as you instigate each positive command.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Personal Goal Setting - Find Direction. Live Your Life Your Way

Goal setting is a powerful process for thinking about your ideal future, and for motivating yourself to turn this vision of the future into reality.

The process of setting goals helps you choose where you want to go in life. By knowing precisely what you want to achieve, you know where you have to concentrate your efforts. You'll also quickly spot the distractions that would otherwise lure you from your course.

More than this, properly-set goals can be incredibly motivating, and as you get into the habit of setting and achieving goals, you'll find that your self-confidence builds fast.

Achieving More With Focus

Goal setting techniques are used by top-level athletes, successful business-people and achievers in all fields. They give you long-term vision and short-term motivation. They focus your acquisition of knowledge and help you to organize your time and your resources so that you can make the very most of your life.

By setting sharp, clearly defined goals, you can measure and take pride in the achievement of those goals. You can see forward progress in what might previously have seemed a long pointless grind. By setting goals, you will also raise your self-confidence, as you recognize your ability and competence in achieving the goals that you have set.

Starting to Set Personal Goals

Goals are set on a number of different levels: First you create your "big picture" of what you want to do with your life, and decide what large-scale goals you want to achieve. Second, you break these down into the smaller and smaller targets that you must hit so that you reach your lifetime goals. Finally, once you have your plan, you start working to achieve it.

We start this process with your Lifetime Goals, and work down to the things you can do today to start moving towards them.

Your Lifetime Goals

The first step in setting personal goals is to consider what you want to achieve in your lifetime (or by a time at least, say, 10 years in the future) as setting Lifetime Goals gives you the overall perspective that shapes all other aspects of your decision making.To give a broad, balanced coverage of all important areas in your life, try to set goals in some of these categories (or in categories of your own, where these are important to you):

Artistic: Do you want to achieve any artistic goals? If so, what?

Attitude: Is any part of your mindset holding you back? Is there any part of the way that you behave that upsets you? If so, set a goal to improve your behavior or find a solution to the problem.

Career: What level do you want to reach in your career?

Education: Is there any knowledge you want to acquire in particular? What information and skills will you need to achieve other goals?

Family: Do you want to be a parent? If so, how are you going to be a good parent?

Financial: How much do you want to earn by what stage?

Physical: Are there any athletic goals you want to achieve, or do you want good health deep into old age? What steps are you going to take to achieve this?

Pleasure: How do you want to enjoy yourself? - You should ensure that some of your life is for you!

Public Service:Do you want to make the world a better place? If so, how?
Spend some time brainstorming these, and then select one goal in each category that best reflects what you want to do. Then consider trimming again so that you have a small number of really significant goals on which you can focus. As you do this, make sure that the goals that you have set are ones that you genuinely want to achieve, not ones that your parents, family, or employers might want (if you have a partner, you probably want to consider what he or she wants, however make sure you also remain true to yourself!)

Starting to Achieve Your Lifetime Goals

Once you have set your lifetime goals, set a 25 year plan of smaller goals that you should complete if you are to reach your lifetime plan. Then set a 5 year plan, 1 year plan, 6 month plan, and 1 month plan of progressively smaller goals that you should reach to achieve your lifetime goals. Each of these should be based on the previous plan.Then create a daily to-do list of things that you should do today to work towards your lifetime goals. At an early stage these goals may be to read books and gather information on the achievement of your goals. This will help you to improve the quality and realism of your goal setting.

Finally review your plans, and make sure that they fit the way in which you want to live your life.

Staying on Course

Once you have decided your first set of plans, keep the process going by reviewing and updating your to-do list on a daily basis. Periodically review the longer term plans, and modify them to reflect your changing priorities and experience.

Goal Setting Tips

The following broad guidelines will help you to set effective goals:

State each goal as a positive statement: Express your goals positively – 'Execute this technique well' is a much better goal than 'Don't make this stupid mistake.'

Be precise: Set a precise goal, putting in dates, times and amounts so that you can measure achievement. If you do this, you will know exactly when you have achieved the goal, and can take complete satisfaction from having achieved it.

Set priorities: When you have several goals, give each a priority. This helps you to avoid feeling overwhelmed by too many goals, and helps to direct your attention to the most important ones.

Write goals down: This crystallizes them and gives them more force.

Keep operational goals small: Keep the low-level goals you are working towards small and achievable. If a goal is too large, then it can seem that you are not making progress towards it. Keeping goals small and incremental gives more opportunities for reward. Derive today's goals from larger ones.

Set performance goals, not outcome goals: You should take care to set goals over which you have as much control as possible. There is nothing more dispiriting than failing to achieve a personal goal for reasons beyond your control. In business, these could be bad business environments or unexpected effects of government policy. In sport, for example, these reasons could include poor judging, bad weather, injury, or just plain bad luck. If you base your goals on personal performance, then you can keep control over the achievement of your goals and draw satisfaction from them.

Set realistic goals: It is important to set goals that you can achieve. All sorts of people (employers, parents, media, society) can set unrealistic goals for you. They will often do this in ignorance of your own desires and ambitions. Alternatively you may set goals that are too high, because you may not appreciate either the obstacles in the way or understand quite how much skill you need to develop to achieve a particular level of performance. This is something we focus on in detail in our Daily Dose Of Good program, which not only helps you decide your goals, it then helps you set the vivid, compelling goals you need if you're to make a change in your life.

SMART Goals:A useful way of making goals more powerful is to use the SMART mnemonic. While there are plenty of variants, SMART usually stands for:

S Specific
M Measurable
A Attainable
R Relevant
T Time-bound

For example, instead of having “to sail around the world” as a goal, it is more powerful to say “To have completed my trip around the world by December 31, 2015.” Obviously, this will only be attainable if a lot of preparation has been completed beforehand!

Gain a deeper understanding of SMART goal setting in future post.

Achieving Goals

When you have achieved a goal, take the time to enjoy the satisfaction of having done so. Absorb the implications of the goal achievement, and observe the progress you have made towards other goals. If the goal was a significant one, reward yourself appropriately. All of this helps you build the self-confidence you deserve! With the experience of having achieved this goal, review the rest of your goal plans:

If you achieved the goal too easily, make your next goals harder.

If the goal took a dispiriting length of time to achieve, make the next goals a little easier.

If you learned something that would lead you to change other goals, do so.
If you noticed a deficit in your skills despite achieving the goal, decide whether to set goals to fix this.

Failure to meet goals does not matter much, as long as you learn from it. Feed lessons learned back into your goal setting program.Remember too that your goals will change as time goes on. Adjust them regularly to reflect growth in your knowledge and experience, and if goals do not hold any attraction any longer, then let them go.

Key Points

Goal setting is an important method of:

Deciding what is important for you to achieve in your life.

Separating what is important from what is irrelevant, or a distraction.

Motivating yourself.

Building your self-confidence, based on successful achievement of goals.

If you don't already set goals, do so, starting now. As you make this technique part of your life, you'll find your career accelerating, and you'll wonder how you did without it!

These services and resources can help you set and achieve your goals more effectively:

Every Month A Million