Negative thoughts are a thousand times more addictive than drugs. My four step proven approach to help get rid of negative thoughts is presented here. Using this technique you can get rid of negative thoughts and make yourself a happier person.
Negative thoughts are a thousand times more addictive than drugs। Over time they become so that you cannot distinguish a thought as being separate from you.
Many mental health professionals and psychiatrists like Professor Aaron Beck of the University of Pennsylvania, who invented the Beck Hopelessness Scale, believe that depression is due to negative views towards the self, world, and especially the future. In his lifelong experience of working with depressed patients, Professor Beck found that they experienced streams of negative thoughts that habitually pop up spontaneously out of nowhere.
You can get rid of negative thoughts. There is hope for you. Others have done it, so can you!
There is a priceless and proven technique, which has helped lots of people get rid of negative thoughts that plague the mind. When you learn to get rid of negative thoughts you become a more positive person, who is happier. All the advice you get about “Think positive”, just doesn’t work if you can’t get rid of negative thoughts first. Using the following method you can get rid of much negativity in your life so that you can think positive.
So, here’s the method, step by step.
1. Become Aware
This is the first step. You have to recognise that you’re having a negative thought. The sure sign of a negative thought is that it lowers your energy level. Then it can also make you feel gloomy and bitter so that you can’t see any good in anything.
2. Label It
Take a good look at your thought. “I’m experiencing a negative thought now.” Tell yourself like this. Then you decide that you will not let this negative thought take control of you. Visualize the thought going away from you or going into the ground. Once a day, find a place where you can sit alone quietly for a few minutes. Even a toilet will do if you have no other place. Visualize that you dump your negative thoughts onto a dead tree, a rock or the sea. Tell yourself that you don’t want them anymore.
After doing this for a few days, you’ll notice a sudden change. Suddenly you’ll begin to feel your energy level stop sinking and the inner gloom will stop getting gloomier. Fantastic progress until now, so congratulate yourself. Treat yourself to a nice cake and then on to the next stage.
3. Exaggerate It
Explore the negative thought and play with it। Stretch it and make it absolutely ridiculous। If you have a thought such as “I can’t go and tell my bank that I’d need to lower my monthly mortgage amount. They’d think I’m a loser”. Visualize all the people at the bank laughing out aloud so they roll on the floor pointing at you. Some of them manage to rush into the street and stop passers-by or get on the phone and call their friends and say out aloud “Can you imagine, we have a customer here who wants to lower her monthly mortgage amount!” Then everyone joins in to ridicule you, the traffic stops, TV cameras appear and they make a breaking-news alert, the president cancels his foreign trip.
As you go on doing this thought stretching, you realize the absurdity of your negative thoughts. They begin to appear bizarre and lose their glue-like grip on you. Congratulations, you have now reached breakthrough point. The miracle has started taking place. You’ve started freeing your mind.
4. Be Thankful
Notice that all your exaggerations did not actually take place। Things could have been far worse for you if they had. This is a reason to be thankful. The moment you start being thankful, a new ray of life enters and your inner gloom lights up. Things start happening to you that never happened before. Where there were only walls for you to bang your head, doors and windows appear. An end of the world disaster turns out to be an opportunity, a new beginning that you’d never have imagined. Now just relax and experience how new things come into your life in place of the old negative thoughts.
Many addiction recovery programs fail because there is no success in replacing drugs, liquor, or porn addiction with something positive and desirable. It is the same with negative thoughts. They become an addiction. So, when you start purging your mind of them, what do you put in their place? Being thankful brings a positive appreciation of your situation and you see yourself as part of a bigger picture.
You don’t have to be religious or expect archangels flapping wings and blowing fiery trumpets by your bedside as wake up in the morning। The perspective and relaxed feeling you get as you start becoming free of negative thoughts allows you to be more receptive and see opportunities. This is what is meant by “Thy will be done” in prayer. You recognize that your personal ego is rather tiny in the big picture. If you try to run everything with this tiny ego, you limit all possibilities to only those your tiny ego can imagine. Life contains infinitely more possibilities than you can imagine. Then, to your surprise, you start attracting positive thoughts.
James Boehm
Showing posts with label Negative Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Negative Thoughts. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Monday, September 3, 2012
Law Of Attraction Means Living In Abundance And Prosperity
The law of attraction is very simple. To accept your abundance and prosperity, you will have to be careful of what you feel, think, believe and focus on... because it will become your life. It IS your life.
After years of being taught and raised in a world full of negative thoughts and ideas... it's only natural for us to have negative tendencies. We do become what we think!
So, after saying all of that--my point is this. If you can be trained to think negatively... you can be trained to think positively. And let me be the first to tell you that it ain't easy. But for the chance of attracting abundance and having this law working in your life--is it worth the try?
It takes work to un-do years of mental brainwashing about our world, our lives and the people and situations that surrounds us daily.
Remaining Positive Takes Work
Yes, the law of attraction is something a lot of us want, but getting our minds to remain focused on positive ideas all the time is going to take some serious work.
All I can tell you is that I want this law working in my life. So I still have to remind myself about the goals I want to accomplish, and what I want my life to be. Negative thoughts still crop-up now and then but, my tendency is to squash them before they even take root.
Then I remind myself of the things I want in my life. It's a matter of what is more important. A negative thought or comment about something or someone. Or using the law of attraction to better my life. You can guess which one wins, every time.
Start By Showing Contentment In Gratitude
Try filling your life with gratitude first. Gratitude for being here to practice this universal law. Live with gratitude, breath gratitude. It's easy to be grateful. Even for the smallest things in our lives. Show your contentment in gratitude.
Then work up to being grateful for a positive outlook on life. Give people and situations, the benefit of doubt. Gratitude can and will take you far. Even to a life where using this law becomes very fruitful.
This particular law works on the principle of like energy attracts like energy. Our thoughts and emotions are energy... so basically, what we think and feel is what we're going to attract and experience in our lives.
Its orderly make-up is this... the entire cosmos is made of energy... and enegry vibrates. Everything that is made of energy vibrates at a certain level. Like vibrations attract each other... opposing vibrations repel each other.
Practicing this law (which is positive energy), will not work for a mind filled with hate, jealousy, doubt, fear and worry (which are all negative energies). They will repel each other. This is why aligning our emotional state is so important!
According To The Law Of Attraction You Attract The Emotions You Live
And you will attract whichever emotion is stronger. Let's face it. You can have some very strong emotions when it comes to hate, fear, worry, jealousy, etc.
And that's because it has been with us all our lives. It has become second nature to us. Even though we are entitled to our beliefs, it doesn't mean we can't change - it just means we're going to have to put fort an effort to change.
Do you want the attraction working in your life? Ask yourself these questions. How dedicated am I toward getting the life I want? How hard am I willing to work for it? How bad do I want to change my life?
When you answer these questions you will have your answer.
The law of attraction works, but there has to be an emotional releasing of all the negative blockages that are holding you back. Blockages that are hidden deep in your sub-concscious mind. You can't move forward with your life, if negative situations from your pass or even the present are holding you back.
James Boehm
After years of being taught and raised in a world full of negative thoughts and ideas... it's only natural for us to have negative tendencies. We do become what we think!
So, after saying all of that--my point is this. If you can be trained to think negatively... you can be trained to think positively. And let me be the first to tell you that it ain't easy. But for the chance of attracting abundance and having this law working in your life--is it worth the try?
It takes work to un-do years of mental brainwashing about our world, our lives and the people and situations that surrounds us daily.
Remaining Positive Takes Work
Yes, the law of attraction is something a lot of us want, but getting our minds to remain focused on positive ideas all the time is going to take some serious work.
All I can tell you is that I want this law working in my life. So I still have to remind myself about the goals I want to accomplish, and what I want my life to be. Negative thoughts still crop-up now and then but, my tendency is to squash them before they even take root.
Then I remind myself of the things I want in my life. It's a matter of what is more important. A negative thought or comment about something or someone. Or using the law of attraction to better my life. You can guess which one wins, every time.
Start By Showing Contentment In Gratitude
Try filling your life with gratitude first. Gratitude for being here to practice this universal law. Live with gratitude, breath gratitude. It's easy to be grateful. Even for the smallest things in our lives. Show your contentment in gratitude.
Then work up to being grateful for a positive outlook on life. Give people and situations, the benefit of doubt. Gratitude can and will take you far. Even to a life where using this law becomes very fruitful.
This particular law works on the principle of like energy attracts like energy. Our thoughts and emotions are energy... so basically, what we think and feel is what we're going to attract and experience in our lives.
Its orderly make-up is this... the entire cosmos is made of energy... and enegry vibrates. Everything that is made of energy vibrates at a certain level. Like vibrations attract each other... opposing vibrations repel each other.
Practicing this law (which is positive energy), will not work for a mind filled with hate, jealousy, doubt, fear and worry (which are all negative energies). They will repel each other. This is why aligning our emotional state is so important!
According To The Law Of Attraction You Attract The Emotions You Live
And you will attract whichever emotion is stronger. Let's face it. You can have some very strong emotions when it comes to hate, fear, worry, jealousy, etc.
And that's because it has been with us all our lives. It has become second nature to us. Even though we are entitled to our beliefs, it doesn't mean we can't change - it just means we're going to have to put fort an effort to change.
Do you want the attraction working in your life? Ask yourself these questions. How dedicated am I toward getting the life I want? How hard am I willing to work for it? How bad do I want to change my life?
When you answer these questions you will have your answer.
The law of attraction works, but there has to be an emotional releasing of all the negative blockages that are holding you back. Blockages that are hidden deep in your sub-concscious mind. You can't move forward with your life, if negative situations from your pass or even the present are holding you back.
James Boehm
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Three Powerful Breakthrough Life Changing Actions
Make these Three Breakthrough Actions part of your life and positive things will begin rapidly coming into your life. These Three Breakthrough Actions will change your life and bring you what you’ve been missing.
Practice these Three Actions and watch what happens.
The First Breakthrough Action.
Let go of your non-love feelings.
Pay attention to what you’re saying, thinking and doing. Watch all the time. Stay awake to what’s happening. Be on the lookout all the time. When you see some non-love thought, you stop it. When you see some non-love feeling, you stop it. When you see you’re taking some non-love action, you stop it.
If what you’re thinking, feeling, saying or doing is negative, end it. Stop it.
If I hand you a red-hot poker you drop it in a split second, right? Non-love feelings, words, thoughts, actions, all those are hot pokers. Drop them. Non-love, not-liking, disapproval, negativity is burning up your life just like a red-hot fireplace poker burns up your hand.Drop the non-love feelings like you would drop a hot poker.
Here’s the test. Is it negative? Then, it’s non-loving and hurting your life. Drop it.
The Second Breakthrough Action.
Hold in mind what you want. Hold in mind means what you keep in your mind. Hold in mind means the thoughts and feelings that occupy your mind all the time.
You get what you hold in mind. Whatever is occupying your mind, your thoughts and your feelings, is what you manifest in the material world. It’s the law of attraction.
Positive attracts positive, negative attracts negative. Love attracts love. Non-love attracts more non-love. Love is the same energy as positive, success, abundance, health, money, peace.
If you hold in mind “I can’t,” you’re right, you can’t. If you hold in mind “I don’t have it,” you’re right, you don’t have it and you aren’t going to have it. You’re holding the wrong thing in mind. You’re holding in mind what you don’t want.
Fake it until you make it. Stop thinking you don’t have it. Hold in your mind only what you want. Prove it to yourself. Make a good effort. What do you have to lose? If I’m right you get to have everything.
If I’m wrong, you’re no worse off. Here is a little hint: If it doesn’t work, it’s because your mind talked you out of doing it. Your mind talked you out of making a decision. Your mind talked you out of being determined and persistent. You (like everyone else on the planet) have spent your entire life collecting non-love feelings.
It’s likely to take some time to get all of them out. However, it’s worth it because, if you work at it, if you do it, it will work. You will notice changes happening the very first week if you are persistent. Hold in mind what you want.
Here’s another hint:
You can easily see what you’re holding in your mind. Watch what you’re saying all the time. Watch what you’re thinking. And, you can see what you’re holding in your mind by paying attention to your feelings.
Now remember, this is not about affirmations. This is not about hanging signs around your house and car. This is about holding in mind what you want. You do that by dropping thoughts, words or feelings which express what you don’t want.
The Third Breakthrough Action.
Make a commitment to be positive and loving, in spite of what’s happening. Decide: “I’m going to be positive and loving in spite of whatever is happening.” Make that your motto.Be positive in spite of what happens. You live your life automatically reacting with emotions you learned as a two-year-old child.
You’re not two years old anymore, but you’re still doing the same thing. End the habit of automatically reacting. It’s just a decision. Something happens that seems to be negative. You react. You leave the present moment and you go off. Does that ever solve anything?
Anger, breaking into hysteria, feeling bad because someone gave you a dirty look? Negative, non-love behavior doesn’t do anything for you except make you more negative and non-loving.
It never solves anything. It never helps anything. I know you see that. I know you agree with me, because you have experienced it yourself many, many times. Make a decision. I am going to be loving and positive in spite of whatever happens.
Remember the hot poker? Begin by letting go of the hot poker called negative, non-loving reactions. Try it. Prove it to yourself. Be positive and loving in spite of whatever happens, whatever is going on, whatever they’re doing or saying. Be positive and loving and watch what happens.
When you’re positive and loving in spite of whatever, you’re moving over to the side of love. Love conquers all. Love transforms. Love is the answer.
Adopt the Three Breakthrough Actions. Practice them. Don’t listen to your mind trying to talk you out of it. You’re in the right place at the right time. Take action. Be loving. Let go of the non-love feelings.
Practice the Three Breakthrough Actions:
1. Let go of your non-love feelings.
2. Hold in mind what you want.
3. Be positive and loving in spite of whatever happens
You will be the happiest and you will have everything. Prove it to yourself. I always thought good luck was something mysterious that happened to people for no good reason. Now I understand.
Now I see that luck is loving yourself. I proved that to myself because I started having great luck. All kinds of things started falling in my lap when I started loving myself and everyone else. Now I live a life of good luck. Uncanny good things are happening for me all the time now. And will for you also.
James Boehm
Practice these Three Actions and watch what happens.
The First Breakthrough Action.
Let go of your non-love feelings.
Pay attention to what you’re saying, thinking and doing. Watch all the time. Stay awake to what’s happening. Be on the lookout all the time. When you see some non-love thought, you stop it. When you see some non-love feeling, you stop it. When you see you’re taking some non-love action, you stop it.
If what you’re thinking, feeling, saying or doing is negative, end it. Stop it.
If I hand you a red-hot poker you drop it in a split second, right? Non-love feelings, words, thoughts, actions, all those are hot pokers. Drop them. Non-love, not-liking, disapproval, negativity is burning up your life just like a red-hot fireplace poker burns up your hand.Drop the non-love feelings like you would drop a hot poker.
Here’s the test. Is it negative? Then, it’s non-loving and hurting your life. Drop it.
The Second Breakthrough Action.
Hold in mind what you want. Hold in mind means what you keep in your mind. Hold in mind means the thoughts and feelings that occupy your mind all the time.
You get what you hold in mind. Whatever is occupying your mind, your thoughts and your feelings, is what you manifest in the material world. It’s the law of attraction.
Positive attracts positive, negative attracts negative. Love attracts love. Non-love attracts more non-love. Love is the same energy as positive, success, abundance, health, money, peace.
If you hold in mind “I can’t,” you’re right, you can’t. If you hold in mind “I don’t have it,” you’re right, you don’t have it and you aren’t going to have it. You’re holding the wrong thing in mind. You’re holding in mind what you don’t want.
Fake it until you make it. Stop thinking you don’t have it. Hold in your mind only what you want. Prove it to yourself. Make a good effort. What do you have to lose? If I’m right you get to have everything.
If I’m wrong, you’re no worse off. Here is a little hint: If it doesn’t work, it’s because your mind talked you out of doing it. Your mind talked you out of making a decision. Your mind talked you out of being determined and persistent. You (like everyone else on the planet) have spent your entire life collecting non-love feelings.
It’s likely to take some time to get all of them out. However, it’s worth it because, if you work at it, if you do it, it will work. You will notice changes happening the very first week if you are persistent. Hold in mind what you want.
Here’s another hint:
You can easily see what you’re holding in your mind. Watch what you’re saying all the time. Watch what you’re thinking. And, you can see what you’re holding in your mind by paying attention to your feelings.
Now remember, this is not about affirmations. This is not about hanging signs around your house and car. This is about holding in mind what you want. You do that by dropping thoughts, words or feelings which express what you don’t want.
The Third Breakthrough Action.
Make a commitment to be positive and loving, in spite of what’s happening. Decide: “I’m going to be positive and loving in spite of whatever is happening.” Make that your motto.Be positive in spite of what happens. You live your life automatically reacting with emotions you learned as a two-year-old child.
You’re not two years old anymore, but you’re still doing the same thing. End the habit of automatically reacting. It’s just a decision. Something happens that seems to be negative. You react. You leave the present moment and you go off. Does that ever solve anything?
Anger, breaking into hysteria, feeling bad because someone gave you a dirty look? Negative, non-love behavior doesn’t do anything for you except make you more negative and non-loving.
It never solves anything. It never helps anything. I know you see that. I know you agree with me, because you have experienced it yourself many, many times. Make a decision. I am going to be loving and positive in spite of whatever happens.
Remember the hot poker? Begin by letting go of the hot poker called negative, non-loving reactions. Try it. Prove it to yourself. Be positive and loving in spite of whatever happens, whatever is going on, whatever they’re doing or saying. Be positive and loving and watch what happens.
When you’re positive and loving in spite of whatever, you’re moving over to the side of love. Love conquers all. Love transforms. Love is the answer.
Adopt the Three Breakthrough Actions. Practice them. Don’t listen to your mind trying to talk you out of it. You’re in the right place at the right time. Take action. Be loving. Let go of the non-love feelings.
Practice the Three Breakthrough Actions:
1. Let go of your non-love feelings.
2. Hold in mind what you want.
3. Be positive and loving in spite of whatever happens
You will be the happiest and you will have everything. Prove it to yourself. I always thought good luck was something mysterious that happened to people for no good reason. Now I understand.
Now I see that luck is loving yourself. I proved that to myself because I started having great luck. All kinds of things started falling in my lap when I started loving myself and everyone else. Now I live a life of good luck. Uncanny good things are happening for me all the time now. And will for you also.
James Boehm
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
7 Keys to Having a Positive Attitude
Why do some people have such a great attitude and others a negative one? Well, I wondered the same thing and through my research I found seven keys that those with a positive mental attitude all share. How do you rate?
1) Choose Your Attitude in Advance:
When you wake up, you have a choice. You can be in a good mood or a bad mood. You also choose your attitude. You can wake up and mutter to yourself, "This is gonna be a cruddy day," or you can tell yourself, "This is gonna be a great day!" This choice is the start of a great attitude.
2) Visualize Success:
Runners in the Boston Marathon picture themselves crossing the finish line. Picture yourself having a successful day. Self-visualization is a key factor in having a positive mental attitude. Will it work 100% of the time? I wish it would. However, by visualizing your success, you'll be able to have a better handle on what does happen, and having a better chance of making it happen.
3) Demonstrate Humor, Energy, and Enthusiasm:
We call these three items the magic ingredients. Without them, creating a positive mental attitude will be difficult. There is normally humor in every situation. Finding it is key. Sometimes you'll need to stretch and dig a little deeper to find the humor in a situation. But once you do, you'll feel so much better. Energy is important because without some energy in your attitude, you'll be dragging behind everyone. Energy is closely related to the third ingredient, enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is contagious; let's start an epidemic!
4) Resist Negative Influences:
It's a fact. When we have a negative experience with a company, we'll tell more people about it than if we have a good experience with the same company. Many times, when you hear that someplace wasn't very good, you'll believe the person who told you and choose not to do business with that company. However, you may only be hearing half the story. Check things out for yourself. Especially if the negativity involves a person you work with or know. We've all heard negative things about someone we didn't know and then when we had the opportunity to meet them ourselves, we find that they're not as bad as someone had alluded to. In fact they might be nice, but you need to be the judge. Take negativity out of your life. Steer clear of those who drag you down and say negative things. Being around other positive people is a good start.
5) Be a Whatever-it-Takes Person:
This means, be a problem solver. Life is going to put obstacles in front of all of us. How we go around those obstacles is key. There's normally a good answer to every problem put in front of us. Dale Carnegie said it best. Ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that can happen here?" Then move up from that.
6) Embrace Change:
Expect it and Accept it: Some people are very good at handling change and some resist it. The major key to handling change is to accept it; deal with it. In most cases there's little we can do to stop it anyway.
7) Be Grateful for What You Have:
Many people have so much and yet those same people are often the ones that constantly complain. Why wait for some life-altering experience to be grateful? Be grateful, now.
These are the seven keys to having a positive mental attitude. Put them into practice and you will be amazed at the difference they can make.
James Boehm
1) Choose Your Attitude in Advance:
When you wake up, you have a choice. You can be in a good mood or a bad mood. You also choose your attitude. You can wake up and mutter to yourself, "This is gonna be a cruddy day," or you can tell yourself, "This is gonna be a great day!" This choice is the start of a great attitude.
2) Visualize Success:
Runners in the Boston Marathon picture themselves crossing the finish line. Picture yourself having a successful day. Self-visualization is a key factor in having a positive mental attitude. Will it work 100% of the time? I wish it would. However, by visualizing your success, you'll be able to have a better handle on what does happen, and having a better chance of making it happen.
3) Demonstrate Humor, Energy, and Enthusiasm:
We call these three items the magic ingredients. Without them, creating a positive mental attitude will be difficult. There is normally humor in every situation. Finding it is key. Sometimes you'll need to stretch and dig a little deeper to find the humor in a situation. But once you do, you'll feel so much better. Energy is important because without some energy in your attitude, you'll be dragging behind everyone. Energy is closely related to the third ingredient, enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is contagious; let's start an epidemic!
4) Resist Negative Influences:
It's a fact. When we have a negative experience with a company, we'll tell more people about it than if we have a good experience with the same company. Many times, when you hear that someplace wasn't very good, you'll believe the person who told you and choose not to do business with that company. However, you may only be hearing half the story. Check things out for yourself. Especially if the negativity involves a person you work with or know. We've all heard negative things about someone we didn't know and then when we had the opportunity to meet them ourselves, we find that they're not as bad as someone had alluded to. In fact they might be nice, but you need to be the judge. Take negativity out of your life. Steer clear of those who drag you down and say negative things. Being around other positive people is a good start.
5) Be a Whatever-it-Takes Person:
This means, be a problem solver. Life is going to put obstacles in front of all of us. How we go around those obstacles is key. There's normally a good answer to every problem put in front of us. Dale Carnegie said it best. Ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that can happen here?" Then move up from that.
6) Embrace Change:
Expect it and Accept it: Some people are very good at handling change and some resist it. The major key to handling change is to accept it; deal with it. In most cases there's little we can do to stop it anyway.
7) Be Grateful for What You Have:
Many people have so much and yet those same people are often the ones that constantly complain. Why wait for some life-altering experience to be grateful? Be grateful, now.
These are the seven keys to having a positive mental attitude. Put them into practice and you will be amazed at the difference they can make.
James Boehm
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Your Attitude is Everything
Have you heard the saying, "Attitude Is Everything"? While attitude might not really be "everything", it is the single most significant determining factor of success in many situations.
Here's how it works:
Change your attitude and you automatically change:
1. your perspective
2. the way you interpret things
3. the decisions you make
4. the actions you take
5. the results you get
Changing your attitude can get you there more quickly, but it can also get you there in style, enjoying the ride more fully. This short cut is for everyone, because even if you have a great attitude already, it could always be better. It doesn't matter if you have a little goal or a massive dream, a small annoyance or a huge problem, shifting your attitude will help, and it might just radically transform your situation.
People tend to think of an attitude as being simply positive or negative. However, there are infinite possibilities such as: warm, friendly, confident, determined, unstoppable, silly, playful, easy-going, outrageous, peaceful, open-minded, compassionate, optimistic, and all of their negative counterparts. You can ultimately become very creative and experiment with different attitudes for different situations, which will lead you to being more powerful and effective.
Here's the problem. We often think it's hard or impossible to change our attitudes, so we don't try. The truth is that it's easy to change your attitude, if you know how.
Another big problem is that we tend to think our attitude is born of the situation. We think our attitude is the right attitude for the way things are. Therefore, our attitude goes unexamined and unquestioned. Almost everybody is guilty of this, however, our attitude is completely optional and flexible. It is possible to have any attitude in any situation, and there are no ultimate "right" attitudes for particular situations.
We also tend to think of our attitudes as part of our identities. We think, "It's just the way I am." We tend to think of our personalities as static things. In fact, when faced with a new challenge or situation, we make split second decisions about how to respond, and what attitude to adopt, based on our idea of "who we think we are". In this way, we perpetually re-create our attitudes, whether they be negative and disempowering or positive and self-empowering. While our personalities, and the attitudes that go with them, may appear to be somewhat static, they only appear that way because we keep making the same choices (often unconsciously) over and over again, moment to moment. The truth is that you can change "who you're being", and you can change your attitude, at any moment.
How To Shift Your Attitude
Intention: Decide what attitude you want to have, then set your intention to adopt that attitude. Frequently, this is all that is necessary to shift your attitude dramatically.
Break Your Pattern: If you catch yourself with a bad attitude, it can be useful to do something radical and surprising to break your pattern: jump up and down, dance in a circle, poor ice water over your head, sing at the top of your lungs, whistle a silly tune, put on some great music, or whatever to break your pattern. Then create a fresh attitude.
Role Models: Find people who are getting the kinds of results you would like to be getting. Watch them carefully to see what kind of attitude they have and how they express that attitude. Copy them.
Surround Yourself With Positive People: Attitudes are contagious. Who you surround yourself with and spend time with is probably influencing your attitudes way more than you are consciously aware. Enough said.
Ask Better Questions: We are constantly asking ourselves questions. Most of the time this is not a very conscious process. For example, something bad happens and we ask ourselves, "Why me?" Our minds start to find answers to that question, effectively building a case for why bad things happen to us, leading to a bad attitude, leading to more bad things happening. Make a list of the most empowering questions you can think of, and ask those instead. The possibilities are infinite.
Here are a few to get you started:
1) How can I turn this problem into an opportunity?
2) What would I do if I was already very successful?
3) Who do I need to be to achieve my dream?
4) What would my future (successful) self do?
Fake It Till You Make It: If adopting a new attitude feels difficult or awkward, just fake it till you make it. It really works. Act as if you have that attitude. Walk like someone with that attitude. Talk like they would talk. Breathe like they would breathe. Make the decisions they would make, etc.
Expose Yourself To Empowering Messages: Feeding your mind positive messages on a regular basis can really impact your attitude. You can read books, listen to recordings, go to seminars, etc.
Meditation: One of the things meditation is great for is supporting you to slow down and notice that your personality is not so static. Your personality, and the attitudes that accompany it, are something that you generate from moment to moment. This is an empowering realization.
Play With Perspectives: If you have a problem or a goal that you're not making enough progress on, it can be useful to play with perspectives. This loosens up your attitude, and helps you discover new possible attitudes. Get creative and try looking at your situation from several different perspectives.
For example, you can ask yourself:
1) What would a child's perspective be?
2) An elders?,
3) How would I approach this if I knew I could not fail,
4) What would Jesus/Buddha do?,
5) What would be the CEO's perspective?,
6) What would an expert think?,
7) What is the customer's perspective,
8) What would be the perspective of a wealthy person?,
9) A poor person,
10) What would (person you admire) do?,
11) What would my future self say?, etc... the possibilities are endless.
Give Up Reasons and Excuses:
This is a big one. We tend to stubbornly hold on to our attitudes. They become habits. We learn to justify them. We have reasons and excuses for them. You can choose to give up all of your reasons and excuses. Just give them up. Would you rather have your reasons and excuses, or would you rather get results?
Reminders: Write the attitude you want to adopt on a post-it note and put it somewhere so that you'll see it regularly. Ask a friend to remind you. Set an alarm that goes off every hour, etc. You get the idea.
Change Your Belief: If the above techniques don't work, you probably have an underlying negative belief that needs changing. For example, imagine a woman who believes all men are lying cheats. She would have a very hard time trying to create a positive attitude about dating. The above techniques will work to change most negative beliefs, but sometimes changing a stubborn belief requires stronger measures. However, that is the topic of a future article.
Exercise - Creating An Empowering Attitude
Step 1: Choose either a goal that you are having trouble achieving, or a stubborn problem that won't seem to go away. Write it down.
Step 2: Write down your current attitude or attitudes about this goal or problem
Step 3: Decide what attitude you want to have. Write it down. If choosing a new attitude is not easy, use the above technique: "Play With Perspective" to explore new possibilities.
Step 4: Set your intention to adopt the new attitude. Choose one or more of the above techniques to support you in adopting the new attitude. Write down the technique(s) you will use.
James Boehm
Daily Dose Of Good
Every Month A Million
8K A Week
Here's how it works:
Change your attitude and you automatically change:
1. your perspective
2. the way you interpret things
3. the decisions you make
4. the actions you take
5. the results you get
Changing your attitude can get you there more quickly, but it can also get you there in style, enjoying the ride more fully. This short cut is for everyone, because even if you have a great attitude already, it could always be better. It doesn't matter if you have a little goal or a massive dream, a small annoyance or a huge problem, shifting your attitude will help, and it might just radically transform your situation.
People tend to think of an attitude as being simply positive or negative. However, there are infinite possibilities such as: warm, friendly, confident, determined, unstoppable, silly, playful, easy-going, outrageous, peaceful, open-minded, compassionate, optimistic, and all of their negative counterparts. You can ultimately become very creative and experiment with different attitudes for different situations, which will lead you to being more powerful and effective.
Here's the problem. We often think it's hard or impossible to change our attitudes, so we don't try. The truth is that it's easy to change your attitude, if you know how.
Another big problem is that we tend to think our attitude is born of the situation. We think our attitude is the right attitude for the way things are. Therefore, our attitude goes unexamined and unquestioned. Almost everybody is guilty of this, however, our attitude is completely optional and flexible. It is possible to have any attitude in any situation, and there are no ultimate "right" attitudes for particular situations.
We also tend to think of our attitudes as part of our identities. We think, "It's just the way I am." We tend to think of our personalities as static things. In fact, when faced with a new challenge or situation, we make split second decisions about how to respond, and what attitude to adopt, based on our idea of "who we think we are". In this way, we perpetually re-create our attitudes, whether they be negative and disempowering or positive and self-empowering. While our personalities, and the attitudes that go with them, may appear to be somewhat static, they only appear that way because we keep making the same choices (often unconsciously) over and over again, moment to moment. The truth is that you can change "who you're being", and you can change your attitude, at any moment.
How To Shift Your Attitude
Intention: Decide what attitude you want to have, then set your intention to adopt that attitude. Frequently, this is all that is necessary to shift your attitude dramatically.
Break Your Pattern: If you catch yourself with a bad attitude, it can be useful to do something radical and surprising to break your pattern: jump up and down, dance in a circle, poor ice water over your head, sing at the top of your lungs, whistle a silly tune, put on some great music, or whatever to break your pattern. Then create a fresh attitude.
Role Models: Find people who are getting the kinds of results you would like to be getting. Watch them carefully to see what kind of attitude they have and how they express that attitude. Copy them.
Surround Yourself With Positive People: Attitudes are contagious. Who you surround yourself with and spend time with is probably influencing your attitudes way more than you are consciously aware. Enough said.
Ask Better Questions: We are constantly asking ourselves questions. Most of the time this is not a very conscious process. For example, something bad happens and we ask ourselves, "Why me?" Our minds start to find answers to that question, effectively building a case for why bad things happen to us, leading to a bad attitude, leading to more bad things happening. Make a list of the most empowering questions you can think of, and ask those instead. The possibilities are infinite.
Here are a few to get you started:
1) How can I turn this problem into an opportunity?
2) What would I do if I was already very successful?
3) Who do I need to be to achieve my dream?
4) What would my future (successful) self do?
Fake It Till You Make It: If adopting a new attitude feels difficult or awkward, just fake it till you make it. It really works. Act as if you have that attitude. Walk like someone with that attitude. Talk like they would talk. Breathe like they would breathe. Make the decisions they would make, etc.
Expose Yourself To Empowering Messages: Feeding your mind positive messages on a regular basis can really impact your attitude. You can read books, listen to recordings, go to seminars, etc.
Meditation: One of the things meditation is great for is supporting you to slow down and notice that your personality is not so static. Your personality, and the attitudes that accompany it, are something that you generate from moment to moment. This is an empowering realization.
Play With Perspectives: If you have a problem or a goal that you're not making enough progress on, it can be useful to play with perspectives. This loosens up your attitude, and helps you discover new possible attitudes. Get creative and try looking at your situation from several different perspectives.
For example, you can ask yourself:
1) What would a child's perspective be?
2) An elders?,
3) How would I approach this if I knew I could not fail,
4) What would Jesus/Buddha do?,
5) What would be the CEO's perspective?,
6) What would an expert think?,
7) What is the customer's perspective,
8) What would be the perspective of a wealthy person?,
9) A poor person,
10) What would (person you admire) do?,
11) What would my future self say?, etc... the possibilities are endless.
Give Up Reasons and Excuses:
This is a big one. We tend to stubbornly hold on to our attitudes. They become habits. We learn to justify them. We have reasons and excuses for them. You can choose to give up all of your reasons and excuses. Just give them up. Would you rather have your reasons and excuses, or would you rather get results?
Reminders: Write the attitude you want to adopt on a post-it note and put it somewhere so that you'll see it regularly. Ask a friend to remind you. Set an alarm that goes off every hour, etc. You get the idea.
Change Your Belief: If the above techniques don't work, you probably have an underlying negative belief that needs changing. For example, imagine a woman who believes all men are lying cheats. She would have a very hard time trying to create a positive attitude about dating. The above techniques will work to change most negative beliefs, but sometimes changing a stubborn belief requires stronger measures. However, that is the topic of a future article.
Exercise - Creating An Empowering Attitude
Step 1: Choose either a goal that you are having trouble achieving, or a stubborn problem that won't seem to go away. Write it down.
Step 2: Write down your current attitude or attitudes about this goal or problem
Step 3: Decide what attitude you want to have. Write it down. If choosing a new attitude is not easy, use the above technique: "Play With Perspective" to explore new possibilities.
Step 4: Set your intention to adopt the new attitude. Choose one or more of the above techniques to support you in adopting the new attitude. Write down the technique(s) you will use.
James Boehm
Daily Dose Of Good
Every Month A Million
8K A Week
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Positive Thinking - Mind your Thoughts
Have you ever thought about the fact that there is never a moment when you are not thinking—that whatever happens in this world begins with a thought? Here are five simple steps to help you manage your thoughts and achieve success and happiness in life.
BE AWARE OF YOUR THOUGHTS
Start watching your thoughts, without identifying with them. Watch them as a detached observer.
You may even get carried away by your thoughts. Never mind. It is natural—especially for a beginner. What you need to do, whenever you detect this, is to take yourself out of your thoughts immediately and get back to the process of thought-watching once again as a detached observer.
Do not get perturbed by your thoughts. Don't condemn or justify them. Don't try to control them. Just watch them. After some time, you will come to know what your negative thoughts are about. Now concentrate on all the positive thoughts that you can replace these thoughts with, in order to switch over to a more positive attitude towards them. Our attempt should be to cut down the quantity of unnecessary thoughts and to improve the quality of the necessary ones. Keep yourself busy. Simple food, deep breathing and relaxation exercises also help manage your thoughts easily. Expect less from others.
IDENTIFY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Keep a logbook. Jot down your thoughts. Write down happenings of the day. Were they positive, appropriate and adequate or were they confused, superfluous and negative? Could you notice the interval between the happening and your response? If yes, could your foresee your negative thoughts? If not, what can, you do to notice this interval? Was there any discrepancy between words and thoughts? If yes, was it justified—could you find a better way of harmonizing your words and thoughts? Was the verbal response necessary, appropriate and adequate?
Sometimes we talk to others, or simply to ourselves, or think about something just like that. Ask yourself what provoked you to take the initiative to start a conversation. Was it essential? What was the purpose? Did it serve the purpose? If no, then why not? Did it use any unnecessary and emotionally charged negative words? Were the words used in thinking, inner dialogue or in talking to the other person, precise, appropriate, adequate and positive? Did you feel happy or satisfied after the interaction with the other person or with your inner self? Can you find ways of improving your performance as a thinker or a speaker?
Keep in mind that logbooks are meant to get you started and make you aware of your negative thoughts. It is far more important, however, to be aware of these thoughts when they are just taking birth, rather than leave them for later analysis.Be conscious of the interval that separates the event from thoughts with which you respond to the event.
NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Imagine a strong sun radiating a powerful light. Use this mental sunshine to kill your negative, undesirable thoughts, emotions and images as and when these are detected. Take this sun as a mighty weapon which is always on the alert and which automatically chases any negative thought and kills it with a flash and then withdraws. Don't forget to imagine that this sun is your faithful friend and is extremely kind to you.
Keep a note of how many times you need to call the sun for its services. There will be a gradual increase, followed by a drastic fall. This is so because initially the number of times you call on your mental sunshine increases gradually as your awareness of your thoughts grows.
The drastic fall is because what we do not use (the negative thoughts, in this case), we tend to lose.
REPLACE WlTH POSITIVE THOUGHTS
A vital step in this process is the immediate replacement of all negative thoughts by the positive ones. The shorter the interval between the disinfecting and the replacing stage, the better it is. Longer intervals between these two events weaken the impact of the positive thoughts. Our success and happiness depend on identifying our goals precisely and chasing them effectively, both of which, in turn, depend on how well we manage our thoughts. The quality of our thoughts decides the quality of the outcomes we land up with. Thoughts have the power to materialize themselves because they are instrumental in channeling energy towards the physical or mental condition they are about.
External situations and the remarks of others can harm us through our thoughts—but only to the extent our thoughts allow them to. So think positive. Talk positive. Read positive quotable quotes of great people. Surround yourself with posters and cards bearing positive messages. Keep them on your table. Hang them on the walls. Paste them near the bathroom mirror and on the doors. Stick them on your watchstrap. Keep them on the refrigerator. Have them on the dashboard of the car. Slip them under the glass of the table in front of you. Slide them in the inner side of the briefcase you carry. Find other suitable places where you are bound to look at them every day.
Remember that these messages will stale with prolonged use. So keep changing their position and contents. Do not let the momentum of these thoughts get weaker.
Use them appropriately in response to specific negative thoughts. The replacing thought must be positive in every sense. Apart from being inspiring and assuring, it should also be suggestive. For example, if you confront a negative thought, "I can never succeed", it will not suffice if you replace it with "Sun! Attack! I can succeed". This kind of replacement may not be effective, for it sounds like wishful thinking and lacks assurance, depth and penetrating certainty. It is better to break your replacing thought down into more definite and specific steps or instructions.
The replacing thought in this case may be: "I can succeed. By earlier failures I have become rich in experience and have come to know specific areas that require special attention. I will jot them down and systematically think of the ways in which I can improve. I shall plan. And then stick to it. There is absolutely no reason why I should not succeed. I will assess, plan, execute, monitor, modify and carryon with the plan, and finally succeed. In fact, I think that success has already been achieved and only time separates my thought of success and its transformation into reality. I am committing myself to all that is required to achieve success. I am a river that knows no obstacles. I shall find my way anyhow—and if there is none I shall make one.
REINFORCE
Thoughts like these can be further reinforced with emotions and images. All this may take longer than one single replacing thought, but these are far more effective since they allow you to divide the desired target into workable units. Focus on a pleasant event that took place in the past. This way your thoughts will turn positive and your emotions and images will reinforce each other, resulting in an overall positive attitude.
Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good
BE AWARE OF YOUR THOUGHTS
Start watching your thoughts, without identifying with them. Watch them as a detached observer.
You may even get carried away by your thoughts. Never mind. It is natural—especially for a beginner. What you need to do, whenever you detect this, is to take yourself out of your thoughts immediately and get back to the process of thought-watching once again as a detached observer.
Do not get perturbed by your thoughts. Don't condemn or justify them. Don't try to control them. Just watch them. After some time, you will come to know what your negative thoughts are about. Now concentrate on all the positive thoughts that you can replace these thoughts with, in order to switch over to a more positive attitude towards them. Our attempt should be to cut down the quantity of unnecessary thoughts and to improve the quality of the necessary ones. Keep yourself busy. Simple food, deep breathing and relaxation exercises also help manage your thoughts easily. Expect less from others.
IDENTIFY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Keep a logbook. Jot down your thoughts. Write down happenings of the day. Were they positive, appropriate and adequate or were they confused, superfluous and negative? Could you notice the interval between the happening and your response? If yes, could your foresee your negative thoughts? If not, what can, you do to notice this interval? Was there any discrepancy between words and thoughts? If yes, was it justified—could you find a better way of harmonizing your words and thoughts? Was the verbal response necessary, appropriate and adequate?
Sometimes we talk to others, or simply to ourselves, or think about something just like that. Ask yourself what provoked you to take the initiative to start a conversation. Was it essential? What was the purpose? Did it serve the purpose? If no, then why not? Did it use any unnecessary and emotionally charged negative words? Were the words used in thinking, inner dialogue or in talking to the other person, precise, appropriate, adequate and positive? Did you feel happy or satisfied after the interaction with the other person or with your inner self? Can you find ways of improving your performance as a thinker or a speaker?
Keep in mind that logbooks are meant to get you started and make you aware of your negative thoughts. It is far more important, however, to be aware of these thoughts when they are just taking birth, rather than leave them for later analysis.Be conscious of the interval that separates the event from thoughts with which you respond to the event.
NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Imagine a strong sun radiating a powerful light. Use this mental sunshine to kill your negative, undesirable thoughts, emotions and images as and when these are detected. Take this sun as a mighty weapon which is always on the alert and which automatically chases any negative thought and kills it with a flash and then withdraws. Don't forget to imagine that this sun is your faithful friend and is extremely kind to you.
Keep a note of how many times you need to call the sun for its services. There will be a gradual increase, followed by a drastic fall. This is so because initially the number of times you call on your mental sunshine increases gradually as your awareness of your thoughts grows.
The drastic fall is because what we do not use (the negative thoughts, in this case), we tend to lose.
REPLACE WlTH POSITIVE THOUGHTS
A vital step in this process is the immediate replacement of all negative thoughts by the positive ones. The shorter the interval between the disinfecting and the replacing stage, the better it is. Longer intervals between these two events weaken the impact of the positive thoughts. Our success and happiness depend on identifying our goals precisely and chasing them effectively, both of which, in turn, depend on how well we manage our thoughts. The quality of our thoughts decides the quality of the outcomes we land up with. Thoughts have the power to materialize themselves because they are instrumental in channeling energy towards the physical or mental condition they are about.
External situations and the remarks of others can harm us through our thoughts—but only to the extent our thoughts allow them to. So think positive. Talk positive. Read positive quotable quotes of great people. Surround yourself with posters and cards bearing positive messages. Keep them on your table. Hang them on the walls. Paste them near the bathroom mirror and on the doors. Stick them on your watchstrap. Keep them on the refrigerator. Have them on the dashboard of the car. Slip them under the glass of the table in front of you. Slide them in the inner side of the briefcase you carry. Find other suitable places where you are bound to look at them every day.
Remember that these messages will stale with prolonged use. So keep changing their position and contents. Do not let the momentum of these thoughts get weaker.
Use them appropriately in response to specific negative thoughts. The replacing thought must be positive in every sense. Apart from being inspiring and assuring, it should also be suggestive. For example, if you confront a negative thought, "I can never succeed", it will not suffice if you replace it with "Sun! Attack! I can succeed". This kind of replacement may not be effective, for it sounds like wishful thinking and lacks assurance, depth and penetrating certainty. It is better to break your replacing thought down into more definite and specific steps or instructions.
The replacing thought in this case may be: "I can succeed. By earlier failures I have become rich in experience and have come to know specific areas that require special attention. I will jot them down and systematically think of the ways in which I can improve. I shall plan. And then stick to it. There is absolutely no reason why I should not succeed. I will assess, plan, execute, monitor, modify and carryon with the plan, and finally succeed. In fact, I think that success has already been achieved and only time separates my thought of success and its transformation into reality. I am committing myself to all that is required to achieve success. I am a river that knows no obstacles. I shall find my way anyhow—and if there is none I shall make one.
REINFORCE
Thoughts like these can be further reinforced with emotions and images. All this may take longer than one single replacing thought, but these are far more effective since they allow you to divide the desired target into workable units. Focus on a pleasant event that took place in the past. This way your thoughts will turn positive and your emotions and images will reinforce each other, resulting in an overall positive attitude.
Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good
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