Saturday, October 27, 2012

Faith or Fear-Which one will you choose?

Each time in my life that I have embarked to start a new endeavor there is at some point in the beginning a moment where I feel a cold chilling sting. This sting I am referring to is the fear of failure. Perhaps some of you reading this have never had that problem, and you just go from one business to the next with your chest out conquering the world. This article is NOT for you. There are many people that experience the fear of failure at one point or another in their lives, and some people live with it indefinitely. This article IS for you.

If you do not take ownership of and conquer your fear early on it will debilitate you causing your biggest fears to become a reality. There are a few short truths that I am about to share with you to aid you in your quest of conquering fear. First, you have to accept the fact that Fear is a spirit as the Bible states in 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of a sound mind.” The opposite of fear is faith which is also a spirit. In fact, one could define fear as the expectation of something bad whereas faith could be defined as the expectation of something good.

That is an over simplified definition of either term, but let me explain. One individual may be afraid of dogs and when meeting a new dog, is afraid because they are expecting to be bitten, whereas another individual who loves dogs, has faith that the dog will be friendly. You see? Your fear of failure isn’t that you are failing now. It is from the expectation or at least a concern that you will fail, and the fact of the matter is that fear and faith being spirits cannot coexist in the same vessel. You will be in submission to one or the other.

I realize that all of that was deep but the way to cure your fear isn’t deep at all. The thing that cures fear is simple…ACTION cures fear. Whatever you are afraid of, do that thing over and over and you will no longer be afraid of it. If you have a fear of failure then go to work and work hard until the fear goes away. In this case your success would chase fear away. Whichever spirit you submit to will determine the outcome of your expectations. Faith is God’s activator and fear is Satan’s activator. Which one will you choose?

God Bless,
James Boehm

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

How To Believe In Yourself


If you have been beat down long enough, believing in yourself can seem impossible. When you have had people in your life who do not lift you up, you pretty much take over for them when they are not there. You proceed to discount your skills and abilities based on what other people have said. You are doing a great disservice to yourself and giving your power to someone else. To reach your goals in this life, believing in yourself is extremely important if you want to get anywhere. Those assumptions about who you are become a way of life. You will stay stuck in these patterns until you change the way you think.

Here are some simple ways to start learning how to believe in you:

1) Try Even When You Still Think You Can't Do It

Because you have pattern of not believing in yourself, this will take a little work. Make a vow to yourself today that you will try your best at any opportunity that comes your way. It does not matter if you have fallen on your face before or whether you think it's even possible. The important thing is to pledge to yourself that you will try no matter what the outcome may be. The worst thing to do to yourself is to assume you can't do it before even trying. Tell yourself right now that any effort to do better is not a waste of your precious time.

2) Establish Evidence For The Assumptions

Get some paper and start a list. List every one of those things you really believe about yourself and your abilities or the lack of them. List them whether they are large or small. Once you have that list go through each assumption and examine it. Ask yourself, "Is this true? What is the proof?" Then go and do whatever it is you feel you cannot. It does not matter if you do it better than anyone else. It only matters that you DO.

3) Recognize The Possibilities

A constant onslaught of self-defeating assumptions obviously puts you in the place of believing you cannot succeed. This goes back to the people in your life who have impressed their own beliefs on you. A silly bunch of girls in high school told you that you were fat and no one would ever want you. Guess what you have been doing since? Saying that same self-defeating comment to yourself. It is time to push beyond what you believe are your capabilities. This is a scary thought. It also will be a step in the direction of finding the belief in you. The assumptions you have about yourself may not be true. You have simply accepted these assumptions as truth without proof. Consider all the possibilities of each situation. Challenge the assumptions and have an open mind to the possibility that you could be wrong!

With every success, whether large or small, the belief in yourself will grow. That will be the push you need to keep stepping outside your comfort zone and attain the accomplishments you truly deserve.


James Boehm

Friday, October 19, 2012

WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES IN LIFE, ANOTHER DOOR WILL OPEN


Helen Keller the famous American writer once said, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.”

This quote could not be more true in my life, and I’m sure many others. As I’ve had time to reflect upon my life these past days, I’m happy to see where I’ve been, yet I am more happy to see where I am going. In the past, I used to always focus on what didn’t happen in my life, what should have been, or what could have been, thus leaving me discouraged. A lot of us, like me before, put so much of our focus everyday on pass failures. It could be failures in our relationships, our decisions, our career choices, or mistakes we have made which are we are not able to fix. Even though we know that we can’t change the past, we still dwell on it, letting it plague us like a virus that never leaves our mind and emotions. But, if we always focus on the past doors that have closed, we will become blind to the open doors and opportunities that may come our way.

In the past, I used to get so down on myself about every thing that didn’t go my way. I would ask God why? I would throw fits and rages when life didn’t turn out the way I thought it should have. Or, I would become depressed and go into bouts of self-pity, self-rejection and self-hatred. Being an over achiever I would become extremely critical of myself if I felt like I was the cause of my failures. Yet, now that I am older and I can look back at a lot of my earlier mistakes as a young adolescent, I can see how every mistake, every disappointment and failure has led me to become a better man.

With time we become wiser. With time we learn to learn from our mistakes. With time we can see things in retrospect and appreciate every experience, good or bad, for what it is. With time, we can begin to appreciate ourselves. With time we realize there is no use holding on to old remorse’s and thoughts of “I wish I could have, or would have, done things this way or that way.” Instead, we can make the choice now to not repeat our past failures, recognize we are not the same person, and be open to change. We have to let go of what we can’t control and stop focusing on the past closed doors. If we do this, we can become aware of the present blessings in our lives that we may have been missing all along and walk through a new door of happiness.

Until we let go of the old thing we are holding onto, we cannot be hands free to receive the new thing God desires to bless us with. MOVE ON! I felt like I had to say that loud and clear to whoever is reading this column… MOVE ON from the past and into the new. Don’t let your past mistakes, regrets or disappointments hold you back from experiencing the fullness of life and all the goodness it can bring! I’m excited about my future, I feel like I’m maturing as a man and I know that what is in store for me in the coming days can only be even better than what I have experienced before. Not because the past was bad, but because right now I am wiser, more ready and in touch with whom I really am to receive God’s very best! Unless, we choose to move forward from past closed doors, we won’t know what is on the other side of the new doors that await us. I’m nervous, a bit afraid, but full of faith and heart wide open to experience the new, so should you!

God bless,
James Boehm





Saturday, October 13, 2012

Change your life - today is a brand new day!

Do you want to change your life for the better? Do you want to own more of your personal power, live in the present moment, and move towards your dreams?

You can start moving towards your dreams right now. Today is a brand new day and you can be or do anything you want. Start by asking yourself this question: "Who do I want to be today?" Then decide what action steps you will take to do it! It could be as simple as, "I want to be more loving" and then you show someone important how much you love them.

Think about how empowering it is to live your dreams every single day. You can walk through this life with fulfillment and inspiration as you step into your ideal self and move towards your goals and dreams. You have a wonderful, beautiful energy because when you live your dreams you raise your vibration to match your higher self. What are all the qualities you want to embody? When you see your ideal self, how does he or she feel, think and act? Can you start being that person, right now?

If you want to change your life, then what better time to start than right now, with this brand new day? If you let the past hold you back or live in the future then you are keeping yourself out of your personal power. Only you can decide when to let go of the past, trust the future, and start living in the now.

What are your dreams and goals? What can you do today to move towards them? It can be anything, big or small, (and it can be easy!!) but action is required to make your dreams come true. Are you really serious about changing your life? Do you really want to be fulfilled and powerful? Then what can you do today to live your dreams?

Whatever you want for your life is yours for the taking. Are you holding yourself from your dreams by living in the past or dreaming too much of the future? If so, think about why this is. Are you afraid of success or failure? If so, can you act in spite of your fear? Everyone has fear- it never goes away. The courageous act even in the face of fear, not because it isn't there.

Change your life today. Be your dream self. Simply affirm that you are the person you dream of being, and then be it. Show someone how much you love them. Be generous with others. Take on one small action today to move towards your dreams. If not now, when?

Change your life today. There is no greater act of personal power than to move towards your dreams. It is really quite easy to do this, and so much fun! If you don't feel confident, no problem. Just fake it 'till you make it.

James Boehm

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Wherever You Are, Be There


One of the major reasons why we fail to find happiness or to create unique lifestyle is because we have not yet mastered the art of being.

While we are home our thoughts are still absorbed with solving the challenges we face at the office. And when we are at the office we find ourselves worrying about problems at home. We go through the day without really listening to what others are saying to us. We may be hearing the words, but we aren't absorbing the message. As we go through the day we find ourselves focusing on past experiences or future possibilities.

We are so involved in yesterday and tomorrow that we never even notice that today is slipping by. We go through the day rather than getting something from the day.

We are everywhere at any given moment in time except living in that moment in time.

Lifestyle is learning to be wherever you are. It is developing a unique focus on the current moment, and drawing from it all of the substance and wealth of experience and emotions that it has to offer.

Lifestyle is taking time to watch a sunset. Lifestyle is listening to silence. Lifestyle is capturing each moment so that it becomes a new part of what we are and of what we are in the process of becoming. Lifestyle is not something we do; it is something we experience. And until we learn to be there, we will never master the art of living well.

Present Moment

How can one create anew in the moment, without reference to the past or the future? In this metaphor of surfing the wave and staying over your feet, we are talking about staying rooted where you ARE -- in the present moment -- rather than in the "past" (where you have been) or the "future" (where you are going). If you think about it, all fear derives from past experience being projected onto the future. When things arise in your present moment that remind you of something from the past, you can easily project that the past experience will repeat itself in the moments that follow the time of remembering that past. This is when you feel fear. It's inner talk that says, "It was like this before, so it will be like this again." If you experienced pain in the past, you expect it will be painful again. That is where the fear comes in. You want to avoid the pain. "I'm afraid that if this moment goes the way it went before, I'll experience what I experienced before, and I don't want to do that again."

The answer to this is to cut through the cords of memory, to interrupt the inner talk by saying out loud, "That was then. This is now." Boom! You are back in the present, able to choose anew in the present moment. When you say the word "now," you bring your attention into the present. Say "NOW" out loud, right now. Feel NOW. What is really happening NOW? Not what happened before, not what MIGHT happen later. What is really happening NOW? Do you see how you are in the habit of scaring yourself? Cultivate the practice of living NOW. Live each moment as the only moment that exists. NOW is the only place you can create anything. NOW is the only place you can choose anything. NOW is all you ever really have.

When we say the word "moment," it will be useful to define what we mean. A moment is an "event" that arises from the matrix of Infinite Mind. It contains everything within it for its natural fulfillment and completion. It is not measured by minutes, seconds, or hours. It is a unit of experience that may be very short or go on for some time. You can FEEL when a moment begins. You can FEEL when it completes. Every moment has a beginning, a middle, and a conclusion, like a phrase in speech or music. Think of it entering into your field of awareness, swelling into its fullness, and then receding as it completes. There is a wavelike quality to a moment. A wave emerges from the ocean, swells, moves forward, and then resolves back into the ocean. Just so with a moment. It emerges from the ocean of consciousness that is the Mind of the Creator. It swells upward into your perceptual field, and moves forward, then ebbs from your experience as it completes. There is background and foreground, and there are different waves overlapping. In the past, you were only peripherally aware of the background, as your attention was captured by the foreground, but now your senses will be broadened and deepened until you are like a bowl containing ALL of it -- all of the ocean and all of the waves upon its surface. You will be aware of all of it simultaneously and be able to move your attention to whatever you feel called to pay attention to, at will.

James Boehm

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

17 Way's To Love Yourself and Build Your Self Esteem

I’ve compiled a list on how to love yourself for readers who are facing difficulty knowing what to do in boosting their own self esteem. When I first began to be aware that I need to love myself first, before I can develop any meaningful relationships with others, I realised that I did not know where to start.

This was a surprise to me then as I would have thought I’d be an expert on love and relationships by then. After all, as I recalled, in my younger days, I’ve spent much time looking for the best spouse or romantic partner. But I soon realised that my search was meant to fill the void or emptiness I had inside. Finding a good relationship with myself seemed to be an even harder task! However, as things turned out, I realised that I failed miserably in my early relationships because I had insufficient or little self love.

If you’ve suffered from low self esteem, then it goes to show that you are lacking in self love. You may even find it difficult to even search your heart for that little bit of love you have for yourself. I dare say that your mind has been so ingrained with self sabotaging thoughts for the longest time, that loving yourself sounds unnatural to you.

However, nothing is going to happen if you do not make a conscious decision. And that includes Attracting Abundance. When you don’t love yourself, you are basically telling the Universe that you are unworthy or undeserving of any love or positive outcomes that have the same vibrational match as love.

Learning to love yourself starts with making a conscious decision, an intention to become happy and lead a fulfilled life. When you do not love yourself and suffer from low self esteem, you can find that it impossible to ever reach the potential that you suspect you have.

“Love yourself first and everything falls into line.”Lucille Ball quotes (American radio and motion-picture actress and comedy star, 1911-1989)

When you make a decision to love yourself, you are really saying that you want to come alive. You accept that you are responsible for the outcomes that you experience in your life and would like yourself to shine from living a fulfilling life.

So if you’ve decided on loving yourself but are as equally stumped on how to love yourself, as I was back then, here are 17 ways which I believe can be helpful:

1. Fall in love with yourself. Think about what makes you You. Just like a flower that needs watering to grow, learn to nurture yourself in every way. Love yourself for all the good that you see and accept your flaws and the fact that you are imperfect. This does not meant that you do not learn to change from your shortcomings; instead, you are being gentle and kind to yourself for all your flaws. Look in the mirror and fall in love with the reflection that is You.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”Oscar Wilde quotes (Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic, 1854-1900)

2. Eliminate Self Criticism. Do you often berate yourself over the tiniest thing? Is there a little voice inside your head that often tells you that you are no good because you are stupid or make mistakes. If you find that you criticise yourself often, make an effort to stop the self criticism.

“I CAN is 100 times more important than IQ.” — unknown

3. Be Kind And Positive. When you start to think kindly and positively about yourself, the love you have for yourself just grows. Make it a habit to praise yourself everyday, while in the front of the mirror. Because of such thoughts, you naturally undertake empowering actions that support your development.

4. Acknowledge Your Effort. It’s not always about winning or having success in everything that you do. Many times, it is the effort that counts! Acknowledge that you’ve done your best, even if you have failed to produce tangible results.

Bring Your Dreams to Life!

5. Let Go Of Worry. Loving yourself requires you to let go of your worry. It is a horrible way to live a life filled with constant worrying. I can attest to that! Worry does not help in any way. It cannot, on its own, make things happen. Only wise actions can! So instead of worrying, spend time thinking about what you can do to help in the situation. If the situation is beyond your control, then ask the Universe for your desired outcome and let things work out on their own.

Things will come to be, if they are meant to be.

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” — Epictetus quotes (Greek philosopher associated with the Stoics, AD 55-c.135)

6. Trust Yourself. Have confidence in your abilities. Know that you have the ability to make important changes for yourself, for as long as you put your heart to it. You can also support yourself by visualizing desired outcomes.

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”Benjamin Spock quotes (American Pediatrician and Author, 1903-1998)

7. Forgive Yourself. If you have made mistakes in the past that had caused you to feel less worthy, then you need to forgive yourself. All of us make mistakes; so there really is no need to beat yourself up over them. Or if you’ve been carrying around a baggage of emotional hurt because of a childhood trauma, learn to forgive yourself that it is not your fault.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”Lewis B. Smedes quotes

8. Be Truthful To Yourself. Loving yourself requires you to be truthful about your own feelings. If you are happy, acknowledge the joy. If you are sad, acknowledge the sorrow. When you are truthful about your feelings, you do not try to lie to yourself or seek to bury your negative emotions. Instead, acknowledging what you feel provides a good guide to what your thoughts are. And as we all know, thoughts can be changed, so that healing and self growth can take place.

9. Grow Spiritually. When you spend time growing spiritually, loving yourself is an automatic thing. You become more peaceful, connected, kind, loving and compassionate. You nurture a mind that grows more beautiful by the day. How to not love yourself in the process?

10. Make Positive Affirmations Everyday. Post affirmations that can help raise your self esteem everyday. For instance, say this to yourself “I love and accept myself completely and unconditionally.” Read your affirmations out loud several times a day.

11. Express Gratitude. Express gratitude for the person that you are. For instance, cultivate an appreciation for your strengths and gifts. Also, feel a sense of gratitude that you are alive and well, and fully capable of making a difference in your life.

Bring Your Dreams to Life!

12. Nurture Your Dreams. Why deny yourself your dreams? When you nurture your dreams, you would love the life that you are leading. Every moment that you live is a joy because you are expressing yourself fully.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. —Mark Twain

13. Boost Your Self Confidence. Make a deliberate attempt to look for opportunities that can help improve your sense of Self. For instance, if you are particularly good at doing something, set aside more time to indulge and improve your skills on it. Knowing that you have particular gifts can boost your self esteem.

14. Relax. You need to give yourself space to take breaks every now and then. If you spend your time working, without paying attention to your health, it also means that you do not love yourself well enough to take care of your own body. Fill your time with silence, soothing music and visions of beauty; anything that nourishes your Soul.

15. Have Fun. Inject some fun into your life. Life is meant to be an enjoyable. Don’t take life or yourself too seriously. If you can think of life in this manner, you automatically relax and quit worrying over things that do not matter.

16. Look After Your Body. It is important that you strengthen yourself with proper nutrition and regular exercise. Your body is a temple and you should treat it with respect, love and care. It has been found that the lack of self love is often the root causes of conditions like eating disorders, obesity or even terminal diseases.

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.”Jim Rohn quotes (American Speaker and Author. He is famous for motivational audio programs for Business and Life. )

17. Learn To See Beauty. When you learn to see beauty in every thing, you will also see beauty in yourself. Hence, stop to smell the flowers. Notice everything. Feel everything. The pink blush of the flowers in your garden, the greeness of the plains, the whisper of the gentle wind, or the myraid hues of an evening sky.

Here is a good affirmation to read and reflect on…..

“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it — I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know — but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.

I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.”



James Boehm