Have you heard the saying, "Attitude Is Everything"? While attitude might not really be "everything", it is the single most significant determining factor of success in many situations.
Here's how it works:
Change your attitude and you automatically change:
1. your perspective
2. the way you interpret things
3. the decisions you make
4. the actions you take
5. the results you get
Changing your attitude can get you there more quickly, but it can also get you there in style, enjoying the ride more fully. This short cut is for everyone, because even if you have a great attitude already, it could always be better. It doesn't matter if you have a little goal or a massive dream, a small annoyance or a huge problem, shifting your attitude will help, and it might just radically transform your situation.
People tend to think of an attitude as being simply positive or negative. However, there are infinite possibilities such as: warm, friendly, confident, determined, unstoppable, silly, playful, easy-going, outrageous, peaceful, open-minded, compassionate, optimistic, and all of their negative counterparts. You can ultimately become very creative and experiment with different attitudes for different situations, which will lead you to being more powerful and effective.
Here's the problem. We often think it's hard or impossible to change our attitudes, so we don't try. The truth is that it's easy to change your attitude, if you know how.
Another big problem is that we tend to think our attitude is born of the situation. We think our attitude is the right attitude for the way things are. Therefore, our attitude goes unexamined and unquestioned. Almost everybody is guilty of this, however, our attitude is completely optional and flexible. It is possible to have any attitude in any situation, and there are no ultimate "right" attitudes for particular situations.
We also tend to think of our attitudes as part of our identities. We think, "It's just the way I am." We tend to think of our personalities as static things. In fact, when faced with a new challenge or situation, we make split second decisions about how to respond, and what attitude to adopt, based on our idea of "who we think we are". In this way, we perpetually re-create our attitudes, whether they be negative and disempowering or positive and self-empowering. While our personalities, and the attitudes that go with them, may appear to be somewhat static, they only appear that way because we keep making the same choices (often unconsciously) over and over again, moment to moment. The truth is that you can change "who you're being", and you can change your attitude, at any moment.
How To Shift Your Attitude
Intention: Decide what attitude you want to have, then set your intention to adopt that attitude. Frequently, this is all that is necessary to shift your attitude dramatically.
Break Your Pattern: If you catch yourself with a bad attitude, it can be useful to do something radical and surprising to break your pattern: jump up and down, dance in a circle, poor ice water over your head, sing at the top of your lungs, whistle a silly tune, put on some great music, or whatever to break your pattern. Then create a fresh attitude.
Role Models: Find people who are getting the kinds of results you would like to be getting. Watch them carefully to see what kind of attitude they have and how they express that attitude. Copy them.
Surround Yourself With Positive People: Attitudes are contagious. Who you surround yourself with and spend time with is probably influencing your attitudes way more than you are consciously aware. Enough said.
Ask Better Questions: We are constantly asking ourselves questions. Most of the time this is not a very conscious process. For example, something bad happens and we ask ourselves, "Why me?" Our minds start to find answers to that question, effectively building a case for why bad things happen to us, leading to a bad attitude, leading to more bad things happening. Make a list of the most empowering questions you can think of, and ask those instead. The possibilities are infinite.
Here are a few to get you started:
1) How can I turn this problem into an opportunity?
2) What would I do if I was already very successful?
3) Who do I need to be to achieve my dream?
4) What would my future (successful) self do?
Fake It Till You Make It: If adopting a new attitude feels difficult or awkward, just fake it till you make it. It really works. Act as if you have that attitude. Walk like someone with that attitude. Talk like they would talk. Breathe like they would breathe. Make the decisions they would make, etc.
Expose Yourself To Empowering Messages: Feeding your mind positive messages on a regular basis can really impact your attitude. You can read books, listen to recordings, go to seminars, etc.
Meditation: One of the things meditation is great for is supporting you to slow down and notice that your personality is not so static. Your personality, and the attitudes that accompany it, are something that you generate from moment to moment. This is an empowering realization.
Play With Perspectives: If you have a problem or a goal that you're not making enough progress on, it can be useful to play with perspectives. This loosens up your attitude, and helps you discover new possible attitudes. Get creative and try looking at your situation from several different perspectives.
For example, you can ask yourself:
1) What would a child's perspective be?
2) An elders?,
3) How would I approach this if I knew I could not fail,
4) What would Jesus/Buddha do?,
5) What would be the CEO's perspective?,
6) What would an expert think?,
7) What is the customer's perspective,
8) What would be the perspective of a wealthy person?,
9) A poor person,
10) What would (person you admire) do?,
11) What would my future self say?, etc... the possibilities are endless.
Give Up Reasons and Excuses:
This is a big one. We tend to stubbornly hold on to our attitudes. They become habits. We learn to justify them. We have reasons and excuses for them. You can choose to give up all of your reasons and excuses. Just give them up. Would you rather have your reasons and excuses, or would you rather get results?
Reminders: Write the attitude you want to adopt on a post-it note and put it somewhere so that you'll see it regularly. Ask a friend to remind you. Set an alarm that goes off every hour, etc. You get the idea.
Change Your Belief: If the above techniques don't work, you probably have an underlying negative belief that needs changing. For example, imagine a woman who believes all men are lying cheats. She would have a very hard time trying to create a positive attitude about dating. The above techniques will work to change most negative beliefs, but sometimes changing a stubborn belief requires stronger measures. However, that is the topic of a future article.
Exercise - Creating An Empowering Attitude
Step 1: Choose either a goal that you are having trouble achieving, or a stubborn problem that won't seem to go away. Write it down.
Step 2: Write down your current attitude or attitudes about this goal or problem
Step 3: Decide what attitude you want to have. Write it down. If choosing a new attitude is not easy, use the above technique: "Play With Perspective" to explore new possibilities.
Step 4: Set your intention to adopt the new attitude. Choose one or more of the above techniques to support you in adopting the new attitude. Write down the technique(s) you will use.
James Boehm
Daily Dose Of Good
Every Month A Million
8K A Week
Showing posts with label Enjoy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Enjoy. Show all posts
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Personal Goal Setting - Find Direction. Live Your Life Your Way
Goal setting is a powerful process for thinking about your ideal future, and for motivating yourself to turn this vision of the future into reality.
The process of setting goals helps you choose where you want to go in life. By knowing precisely what you want to achieve, you know where you have to concentrate your efforts. You'll also quickly spot the distractions that would otherwise lure you from your course.
More than this, properly-set goals can be incredibly motivating, and as you get into the habit of setting and achieving goals, you'll find that your self-confidence builds fast.
Achieving More With Focus
Goal setting techniques are used by top-level athletes, successful business-people and achievers in all fields. They give you long-term vision and short-term motivation. They focus your acquisition of knowledge and help you to organize your time and your resources so that you can make the very most of your life.
By setting sharp, clearly defined goals, you can measure and take pride in the achievement of those goals. You can see forward progress in what might previously have seemed a long pointless grind. By setting goals, you will also raise your self-confidence, as you recognize your ability and competence in achieving the goals that you have set.
Starting to Set Personal Goals
Goals are set on a number of different levels: First you create your "big picture" of what you want to do with your life, and decide what large-scale goals you want to achieve. Second, you break these down into the smaller and smaller targets that you must hit so that you reach your lifetime goals. Finally, once you have your plan, you start working to achieve it.
We start this process with your Lifetime Goals, and work down to the things you can do today to start moving towards them.
Your Lifetime Goals
The first step in setting personal goals is to consider what you want to achieve in your lifetime (or by a time at least, say, 10 years in the future) as setting Lifetime Goals gives you the overall perspective that shapes all other aspects of your decision making.To give a broad, balanced coverage of all important areas in your life, try to set goals in some of these categories (or in categories of your own, where these are important to you):
Artistic: Do you want to achieve any artistic goals? If so, what?
Attitude: Is any part of your mindset holding you back? Is there any part of the way that you behave that upsets you? If so, set a goal to improve your behavior or find a solution to the problem.
Career: What level do you want to reach in your career?
Education: Is there any knowledge you want to acquire in particular? What information and skills will you need to achieve other goals?
Family: Do you want to be a parent? If so, how are you going to be a good parent?
Financial: How much do you want to earn by what stage?
Physical: Are there any athletic goals you want to achieve, or do you want good health deep into old age? What steps are you going to take to achieve this?
Pleasure: How do you want to enjoy yourself? - You should ensure that some of your life is for you!
Public Service:Do you want to make the world a better place? If so, how?
Spend some time brainstorming these, and then select one goal in each category that best reflects what you want to do. Then consider trimming again so that you have a small number of really significant goals on which you can focus. As you do this, make sure that the goals that you have set are ones that you genuinely want to achieve, not ones that your parents, family, or employers might want (if you have a partner, you probably want to consider what he or she wants, however make sure you also remain true to yourself!)
Starting to Achieve Your Lifetime Goals
Once you have set your lifetime goals, set a 25 year plan of smaller goals that you should complete if you are to reach your lifetime plan. Then set a 5 year plan, 1 year plan, 6 month plan, and 1 month plan of progressively smaller goals that you should reach to achieve your lifetime goals. Each of these should be based on the previous plan.Then create a daily to-do list of things that you should do today to work towards your lifetime goals. At an early stage these goals may be to read books and gather information on the achievement of your goals. This will help you to improve the quality and realism of your goal setting.
Finally review your plans, and make sure that they fit the way in which you want to live your life.
Staying on Course
Once you have decided your first set of plans, keep the process going by reviewing and updating your to-do list on a daily basis. Periodically review the longer term plans, and modify them to reflect your changing priorities and experience.
Goal Setting Tips
The following broad guidelines will help you to set effective goals:
State each goal as a positive statement: Express your goals positively – 'Execute this technique well' is a much better goal than 'Don't make this stupid mistake.'
Be precise: Set a precise goal, putting in dates, times and amounts so that you can measure achievement. If you do this, you will know exactly when you have achieved the goal, and can take complete satisfaction from having achieved it.
Set priorities: When you have several goals, give each a priority. This helps you to avoid feeling overwhelmed by too many goals, and helps to direct your attention to the most important ones.
Write goals down: This crystallizes them and gives them more force.
Keep operational goals small: Keep the low-level goals you are working towards small and achievable. If a goal is too large, then it can seem that you are not making progress towards it. Keeping goals small and incremental gives more opportunities for reward. Derive today's goals from larger ones.
Set performance goals, not outcome goals: You should take care to set goals over which you have as much control as possible. There is nothing more dispiriting than failing to achieve a personal goal for reasons beyond your control. In business, these could be bad business environments or unexpected effects of government policy. In sport, for example, these reasons could include poor judging, bad weather, injury, or just plain bad luck. If you base your goals on personal performance, then you can keep control over the achievement of your goals and draw satisfaction from them.
Set realistic goals: It is important to set goals that you can achieve. All sorts of people (employers, parents, media, society) can set unrealistic goals for you. They will often do this in ignorance of your own desires and ambitions. Alternatively you may set goals that are too high, because you may not appreciate either the obstacles in the way or understand quite how much skill you need to develop to achieve a particular level of performance. This is something we focus on in detail in our Daily Dose Of Good program, which not only helps you decide your goals, it then helps you set the vivid, compelling goals you need if you're to make a change in your life.
SMART Goals:A useful way of making goals more powerful is to use the SMART mnemonic. While there are plenty of variants, SMART usually stands for:
S Specific
M Measurable
A Attainable
R Relevant
T Time-bound
For example, instead of having “to sail around the world” as a goal, it is more powerful to say “To have completed my trip around the world by December 31, 2015.” Obviously, this will only be attainable if a lot of preparation has been completed beforehand!
Gain a deeper understanding of SMART goal setting in future post.
Achieving Goals
When you have achieved a goal, take the time to enjoy the satisfaction of having done so. Absorb the implications of the goal achievement, and observe the progress you have made towards other goals. If the goal was a significant one, reward yourself appropriately. All of this helps you build the self-confidence you deserve! With the experience of having achieved this goal, review the rest of your goal plans:
If you achieved the goal too easily, make your next goals harder.
If the goal took a dispiriting length of time to achieve, make the next goals a little easier.
If you learned something that would lead you to change other goals, do so.
If you noticed a deficit in your skills despite achieving the goal, decide whether to set goals to fix this.
Failure to meet goals does not matter much, as long as you learn from it. Feed lessons learned back into your goal setting program.Remember too that your goals will change as time goes on. Adjust them regularly to reflect growth in your knowledge and experience, and if goals do not hold any attraction any longer, then let them go.
Key Points
Goal setting is an important method of:
Deciding what is important for you to achieve in your life.
Separating what is important from what is irrelevant, or a distraction.
Motivating yourself.
Building your self-confidence, based on successful achievement of goals.
If you don't already set goals, do so, starting now. As you make this technique part of your life, you'll find your career accelerating, and you'll wonder how you did without it!
These services and resources can help you set and achieve your goals more effectively:
Every Month A Million
The process of setting goals helps you choose where you want to go in life. By knowing precisely what you want to achieve, you know where you have to concentrate your efforts. You'll also quickly spot the distractions that would otherwise lure you from your course.
More than this, properly-set goals can be incredibly motivating, and as you get into the habit of setting and achieving goals, you'll find that your self-confidence builds fast.
Achieving More With Focus
Goal setting techniques are used by top-level athletes, successful business-people and achievers in all fields. They give you long-term vision and short-term motivation. They focus your acquisition of knowledge and help you to organize your time and your resources so that you can make the very most of your life.
By setting sharp, clearly defined goals, you can measure and take pride in the achievement of those goals. You can see forward progress in what might previously have seemed a long pointless grind. By setting goals, you will also raise your self-confidence, as you recognize your ability and competence in achieving the goals that you have set.
Starting to Set Personal Goals
Goals are set on a number of different levels: First you create your "big picture" of what you want to do with your life, and decide what large-scale goals you want to achieve. Second, you break these down into the smaller and smaller targets that you must hit so that you reach your lifetime goals. Finally, once you have your plan, you start working to achieve it.
We start this process with your Lifetime Goals, and work down to the things you can do today to start moving towards them.
Your Lifetime Goals
The first step in setting personal goals is to consider what you want to achieve in your lifetime (or by a time at least, say, 10 years in the future) as setting Lifetime Goals gives you the overall perspective that shapes all other aspects of your decision making.To give a broad, balanced coverage of all important areas in your life, try to set goals in some of these categories (or in categories of your own, where these are important to you):
Artistic: Do you want to achieve any artistic goals? If so, what?
Attitude: Is any part of your mindset holding you back? Is there any part of the way that you behave that upsets you? If so, set a goal to improve your behavior or find a solution to the problem.
Career: What level do you want to reach in your career?
Education: Is there any knowledge you want to acquire in particular? What information and skills will you need to achieve other goals?
Family: Do you want to be a parent? If so, how are you going to be a good parent?
Financial: How much do you want to earn by what stage?
Physical: Are there any athletic goals you want to achieve, or do you want good health deep into old age? What steps are you going to take to achieve this?
Pleasure: How do you want to enjoy yourself? - You should ensure that some of your life is for you!
Public Service:Do you want to make the world a better place? If so, how?
Spend some time brainstorming these, and then select one goal in each category that best reflects what you want to do. Then consider trimming again so that you have a small number of really significant goals on which you can focus. As you do this, make sure that the goals that you have set are ones that you genuinely want to achieve, not ones that your parents, family, or employers might want (if you have a partner, you probably want to consider what he or she wants, however make sure you also remain true to yourself!)
Starting to Achieve Your Lifetime Goals
Once you have set your lifetime goals, set a 25 year plan of smaller goals that you should complete if you are to reach your lifetime plan. Then set a 5 year plan, 1 year plan, 6 month plan, and 1 month plan of progressively smaller goals that you should reach to achieve your lifetime goals. Each of these should be based on the previous plan.Then create a daily to-do list of things that you should do today to work towards your lifetime goals. At an early stage these goals may be to read books and gather information on the achievement of your goals. This will help you to improve the quality and realism of your goal setting.
Finally review your plans, and make sure that they fit the way in which you want to live your life.
Staying on Course
Once you have decided your first set of plans, keep the process going by reviewing and updating your to-do list on a daily basis. Periodically review the longer term plans, and modify them to reflect your changing priorities and experience.
Goal Setting Tips
The following broad guidelines will help you to set effective goals:
State each goal as a positive statement: Express your goals positively – 'Execute this technique well' is a much better goal than 'Don't make this stupid mistake.'
Be precise: Set a precise goal, putting in dates, times and amounts so that you can measure achievement. If you do this, you will know exactly when you have achieved the goal, and can take complete satisfaction from having achieved it.
Set priorities: When you have several goals, give each a priority. This helps you to avoid feeling overwhelmed by too many goals, and helps to direct your attention to the most important ones.
Write goals down: This crystallizes them and gives them more force.
Keep operational goals small: Keep the low-level goals you are working towards small and achievable. If a goal is too large, then it can seem that you are not making progress towards it. Keeping goals small and incremental gives more opportunities for reward. Derive today's goals from larger ones.
Set performance goals, not outcome goals: You should take care to set goals over which you have as much control as possible. There is nothing more dispiriting than failing to achieve a personal goal for reasons beyond your control. In business, these could be bad business environments or unexpected effects of government policy. In sport, for example, these reasons could include poor judging, bad weather, injury, or just plain bad luck. If you base your goals on personal performance, then you can keep control over the achievement of your goals and draw satisfaction from them.
Set realistic goals: It is important to set goals that you can achieve. All sorts of people (employers, parents, media, society) can set unrealistic goals for you. They will often do this in ignorance of your own desires and ambitions. Alternatively you may set goals that are too high, because you may not appreciate either the obstacles in the way or understand quite how much skill you need to develop to achieve a particular level of performance. This is something we focus on in detail in our Daily Dose Of Good program, which not only helps you decide your goals, it then helps you set the vivid, compelling goals you need if you're to make a change in your life.
SMART Goals:A useful way of making goals more powerful is to use the SMART mnemonic. While there are plenty of variants, SMART usually stands for:
S Specific
M Measurable
A Attainable
R Relevant
T Time-bound
For example, instead of having “to sail around the world” as a goal, it is more powerful to say “To have completed my trip around the world by December 31, 2015.” Obviously, this will only be attainable if a lot of preparation has been completed beforehand!
Gain a deeper understanding of SMART goal setting in future post.
Achieving Goals
When you have achieved a goal, take the time to enjoy the satisfaction of having done so. Absorb the implications of the goal achievement, and observe the progress you have made towards other goals. If the goal was a significant one, reward yourself appropriately. All of this helps you build the self-confidence you deserve! With the experience of having achieved this goal, review the rest of your goal plans:
If you achieved the goal too easily, make your next goals harder.
If the goal took a dispiriting length of time to achieve, make the next goals a little easier.
If you learned something that would lead you to change other goals, do so.
If you noticed a deficit in your skills despite achieving the goal, decide whether to set goals to fix this.
Failure to meet goals does not matter much, as long as you learn from it. Feed lessons learned back into your goal setting program.Remember too that your goals will change as time goes on. Adjust them regularly to reflect growth in your knowledge and experience, and if goals do not hold any attraction any longer, then let them go.
Key Points
Goal setting is an important method of:
Deciding what is important for you to achieve in your life.
Separating what is important from what is irrelevant, or a distraction.
Motivating yourself.
Building your self-confidence, based on successful achievement of goals.
If you don't already set goals, do so, starting now. As you make this technique part of your life, you'll find your career accelerating, and you'll wonder how you did without it!
These services and resources can help you set and achieve your goals more effectively:
Every Month A Million
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