Saturday, November 14, 2009
When you look at your life, how do you feel about it? Does it appear to be chaotic, confusing, overwhelming at times? Or does it appear to be a unified, continuous, joyful whole, progressing triumphantly towards your life goals?
Most of us live somewhere between these two extremes. Some days we’re “on a roll”, full of confidence and unstoppable. Some days we just seem to be running round in circles, burning all our energy, full of doubt and apprehension and getting nowhere.
So how to we get to spend more time in unstoppable mode, building our self esteem?
One key thing that we need to do is to live our lives congruently…
Lack of congruency is bad for your health!
Do you tend to compartmentalise your life – maybe you break it up so that your work life you do what has to be done to earn a living, in your home life you do what you enjoy and from time to time you try to make sense of it. And your health just gets a back seat.
Or maybe you break your life down in other ways – You're this person to your family and another person to your friends, someone else to your boss and so on…
When you live this way life gets complicated and stressful. You are constantly rushing from A to B, juggling different balls, trying to be different people in different contexts – and what happens when inevitably when two compartments that you have so carefully created overlap - your family meets your friends or your boss!!! Very stressful.
Trying to maintain all these different compartments burns a tremendous amount of mental and even physical energy. When you spend too long in one of your compartments the others start to feel neglected and your only solution is work even harder to juggle all the balls and keep them all in the air. Inevitably one gets dropped, all too often it’s your health or your personal relationships, and then you have real problems.
There has to be a better way to live
Luckily there is a better way to live – make sure you live your life congruently.
What if you only had 1 ball to juggle instead of 10 – you’d have no problem keep it in the air would you? That would be so easy – you could do it confidently, your self esteem would rise as you mastered the skill and you could even learn a few fancy tricks:-).
Carrying that analogy over to your life then, congruency is simply the decision to stop compartmentalizing your life and to start treating it as one unified whole. Making sure you live your life by one simple set of rules where everything fits together is the best form of mental self help.
It may well take you some time to rearrange yourself and your life to get into the state of congruency, but when you do, all the different areas of your life will fit together perfectly and mutually support each other. Your work will fit in with your own beliefs, your family and friends will fit together perfectly, your health and wealth will go hand in hand.
It’s time to review your life
To some extent we are all living lives that are out of balance, so take the time today to think about your life – where are the fault lines? Where are the incongruousness's? You may be a very lucky person and already have a well balanced life, but there is still room for improvement.
Then think about how you can rearrange things so that you can bring your life back into balance. What are the common themes and threads running through all areas that you can strengthen to make your life more congruent?