What I want everyone to do right now is to think back to the day you taught your child to ride their bike? Or the day your parents taught you…
Did you or your parents engage in the art of selling on that day? Of course, and do you recall the one and only question you had? There was only thing that had to be proven? CAN I DO IT.
I realize that life is still in the way, and for some of you and that I’m asking you to plow through less than ideal circumstances in order to begin implementing these skills, I’m asking you to understand that peace comes from success, and success comes from action, based on strength, conviction or belief, and skill.
Everything you’ve learned since you began working online were in preparation of you beginning the process of writing your story, the story of your success, and in order to break through, you must first break down, most people are victims of self doubt, self imposed fears, negativity, and in order to succeed you have to get this garbage out of the way first. We have heard many people say fake it till you make it, and what this translates to is lie until you create your story, but before you do that ask yourself this question Do I have to have a story BEFORE I build my business, or activity? The answer is nope, all you have to have is a true heart.
One other thing before we get started, My partner and my testimonials aren’t worth salt, people will see our history in the industry and immediately begin to segregate us based on experience and successes , people will simply disregard their potential and say well, that’s them, and create the exception rather than the rule. But Your testimonials are gold, pay dirt, worth more than anything I could ever say or do, but you aren’t going to fake it till you make it, we are going to create your testimonials based on results.
Effective prospecting is not one simple approach to selling, it is a very complex program, and one must understand the psychology of prospecting to do it effectively.
I never ever stress about when I’m going to begin, stories of other people enrolling 1 or 5 or 10 don’t phase me at all, they make me smile, I’m always glad to see other people experiencing success, but in truth, I know I convert qualified prospects at 90 plus percent, and I know why, because I know how. And I will teach you how also.
These lessons have been consolidated into a three part series when I delivered this training before it was a 10 part series, within these lessons I will validate one primary thing , and that is that you have to find success. The things I’m going to share with you will most likely not be like anything anyone ever told you before, I always say whatever I deliver is take it or leave it information, keep what feels right to you, this time I’m going to ask you to trust me, trust what I say, and why I say it. I’m going to ask you to ask me any question you like, whether it be based on an idea you have to get you where you need to be, a fear that you think may be holding your back, whatever fear you may have because for the hour or so we are specifically addressing psychological barriers to prospecting success.
So you’re learning to ride a bike, and your parents are engaging in the art of selling, you only have one question, the most important question, CAN I DO IT. Write that down, with a question mark, can I do it? Never ever forget that question.
Do you recall what trickery your parents used that day? One minute their running along behind the seat, holding on, and your peddling away as fast as you can because why? I mean you don’t know if you can do it, even if they have spent hours coaxing you, hours telling you, you can do it, you still don’t know because you never agreed that you could, they never proved that you could but you trusted them, and what did they do? They let go…they proved to you that you could do it…and you rode…Can I do it, and the answer is yes you can, can we do it, yes we can, does that sound familiar, of course it does the President of the united states, as a Candidate engaged in the art of selling. The very first time I saw the sign, that said “Yes we can” I knew it was the winning line, because I had employed the exact same tactic for years and it worked 90 plus percent of the time…
CAN I DO IT…
The very first thing you have to learn about effective prospecting is you have only one thing to sell, forget, about the product, forget about the website, forget about the presentation, but never forget your prospect has only one question, there is only one thing you must accomplish in this call, and that is you must answer that question, which is by the way, the one question every prospect has, and the one question none of them will ever ask, it is an unspoken law, answer the question, get the sale. Your success lies in the answer,
Can you know too much? So many people do not actively engage in prospecting, because they believe they won’t do it right, or they don’t know enough, remember this, the more you know, the less you win.
Let me tell you why, isn’t it amazing that the one thing that has been holding you back, is the one thing that will cost you the sale.
When prospecting, from the first syllable to the last, you are being heard, your prospect is listening to what you say, and more importantly how you say it ( which we will cover in another lesson) , but all the while they have the one question, can I do it? If you go way out in left field comp plan, matrixes etc , you will begin to lose the sale, will you sound like an expert, of course but you begin to create distance between yourself and your prospect, because you are answering the question, and you seem to know so much, your prospect is beginning to doubt whether or not they could ever know that much, they are thinking about all they have to learn, all they have to do, you are saying things they don’t understand, and they are checking the list, matrix? I don’t know what a matrix is, what does that mean? You are answering the question can I do it, with too much knowledge.
Remember the answer to both questions is always the same,
If the answer to the question can I do it? Is no then the answer to will you join my business or activity is also no.
If the answer to the question can I do it is yes, then the answer to will you join my business or activity is also yes.
We will of course never ask anyone to join our business, or participate in our activity never ever, we don’t ask that question, and I’ll share more on the reason why too.
We’ve been talking about the one question every prospect has, the one that they never ask, yet you are required to answer in order to get the sale Every time. And that was “Can I Do It “ and we have learned the answer must always be yes.
You might be thinking perhaps it is as easy as saying “You can do this” or “anyone can do this” and on one hand this is true, but it’s how you say it that counts in the end. We always say it without saying it; it’s less of a pitch and much more effective this way. Remember saying anything doesn’t make it so, it becomes truth through validation that occurs in your prospects mind, you don’t sell anyone, they have to sell themselves, we are not in the business of selling, we are in the business of presenting, we are information brokers by trade.
We have talked about becoming an expert, and I also said that it is quite possible to oversell or over present your opportunity, and cost yourself a sale by being the expert, so how does the whole thing balance out.
I’m going to explain it like this, becoming an expert on the Industry, which when dealing with a prospect amazingly enough has zero affect on the question they have, because they never make a connection between what you happen to know about the industry and anything that they would be required to learn, they will only ever assess whether or not they can learn specifically about the model, the very thing that you represent, so in a sense there are several things that happen when you become an industry expert, one you validate that you really know what the problem is, which says to your prospect if you know what the problem is, then you must know where the solution lies, and you must realize how to solve it, this is the first positive ping on the mental check list of your prospect. Remember 99% of the people you speak to are NOT first time lookers, and they are very well aware of the challenges, have already evaluated themselves out of network marketing as a result of what they have seen and heard so far, the answer they have gotten to the question can I do it? Is a resounding no! Then in walks the master prospector, it’s important to note one thing here, master prospecting skills are never ever about how many people you recruit, never, because anyone can plow through the numbers, it is about conversion only, how many you enroll per number of conversations, anything less than 1 in 5 which is one enrollment per 5 conversations should send you back to prospecting school. That should be the goal, does it mean you start out that way? Absolutely not, but it does mean that you are learning as you go, and your conversions per conversation should be getting higher and higher, it could be 1 in 20, one enrollment per 20 conversations starting out, you should then be striving for 1 in 10, but enrolling 25 in 400 conversations would be a total bust, it’s always about conversion, as long as you are monitoring conversion you are constantly honing your skills. Now on to becoming an expert
Example: Well Mary you know statistically 98% of the people that enter into a home based business opportunity fail, (do not fear saying this you are actually validating yourself and your activity or company, and I guarantee your prospect already knows this.) That’s why when I saw the perfect gift plan model I was so impressed, Mary knowing how challenging it is for the average person to ever make any decent money on the Internet I immediately saw an opportunity where anyone could succeed, this would be a great time to talk about how easy it is. You will also want to add as an expert that most all network marketing companies will require you to enroll or sponsor 100’s and 100’s of people to ever make any good income, problem 2, master prospector solution, all we will ever ask you to do Mary is sponsor two people. Just two participants, people like yourself that you know could use more cash in their lives not only that but we are a group of individuals who truly care about others, and for us it’s not all about the money it’s about having a plan that will actually help people without the challenges, we have a plan that solves the industry problem, and changes the statistics, it’s not only possible for people to receive in abundance, it’s probable, I guess I have to say Mary that is the number one thing that attracted me to this activity. People are looking for a plan that will work for them, without having to conquer the learning curve that most opportunities would require before you can succeed, with our plan you could be receiving cash today
Now in the course of this short example we have covered three problem areas in the industry, and we did it ethically intact without naming names, or being less than professional, we did it from the position of industry expert, without making the prospect feel as though they could never do what you just did.
Now let me tell you what just happened in a 30 second conversation, In this example we would be very near accomplishing everything that we need in order to close this sale, these are the things that occurred,
1)We showed compassion towards people
2)We edified our activity
3)We proved we knew what was wrong in our industry
4)We solidified our commitment to change that
5)We removed all doubt that this is like all the rest
6)We sold its simplicity all you need is two
7)We sold our mission to help others
8)We showed them it was possible to get what they came for which is money…today
9)We were experts without intimidating our prospect
10)And most importantly we are well on our way to answering Mary’s one and only question. Can I Do It?
The next step is going to be covering the plan, and how it works or helping Mary understand that she can get what she needs here, and you don’t have to break it down, the website and the Movie can do that for you.
The one other thing we didn’t do is cover the cost or out of pocket, remember guys we are working with psychology here, after all of that, we need to give our prospect time to start assessing the possible costs…
Ideally the meter is running and they are thinking, if you presented correctly Mary will be thinking that it has to be 400.00 500.00 maybe more, based on what she’s heard from others while researching home based business.
In the example above we presented, any prospect who feels they are being sold, will resist mainly because they don’t want to sell, if you sell, they feel like they have to, remember they are listening, they are qualifying themselves every step of the way (can I do what he/she is doing). We have one job, and that is to present them with information, in the example we did it eloquently professionally without threat, or discomfort, we simply provided the information they needed to answer the only question they have. Your Job is to present, your goal to answer the question. Never sell anything, you have nothing to sell.
In the first half of our training we discussed that can I do it, is the one question you must answer in every conversation about your business. We also talked about becoming the expert, and NOT over selling your opportunity or activity, making sure that everything you do throughout your presentation comes across as something your prospect can see themselves doing, presenting with simplicity.
I am trying to deliver this information in order of importance, and in this last part we’re going to discuss “planning your work day” which you could call “achieving balance” or creating a structured work environment.
So why is this so important, it’s important because becoming disciplined and organized are key to your success. You cannot allow your business to run you, you must run your business.
The key to achieving all of these things is in the way you schedule your day. It’s going to be impossible for me to schedule it for you, since I don’t know what you can do when. All I can do is lay out a perfectly structured day as an example, and then hope that you guys can follow suit around your own circumstances.
So the first step to structuring your days would be to determine what you have to do as part of your daily ritual, and what time you typically do this. Example: If your kids get on the Bus at 7:30 then that is not part of your work structure.
We always build our business around life, NOT the othe5r way around, the other way will not work, you will never find balance, and a lot of bad things can occur if you try to build your life around business.
So ask yourself this question “When can I work”? This is the first thing you need to know, then block out the hours when you are taking care of life. Unless you have a fairly regular schedule you may want to create your schedule weekly, but once you make your work schedule stick to it, this is where discipline comes in. If you know you need to mow the lawn Tuesday morning, then obviously Tuesday morning gets blocked out.
This is so important because you need to be able to function without the stress of unfinished tasks, and without the guilt that can come from neglecting certain aspects of your life, you have to be free to work. This does not mean that you are going to work one hour a week, because if you do it simply won’t produce the results you are looking for, however one hour a week can be reserved for a certain task in relation to work.
Remember, what we talked about last week, your job is to present, you are an information broker, so this is essentially a process that you go through routinely, and you should do it repetitiously, do the same thing over and over again. With minor variations based on the differences that may be found from one prospect to another, other than that what you do is always the same, this way you get better and better at your game.
Get organized, I cannot stress this enough, if you don’t have a day planner, get one, it’s your prospecting bible. In my case, my day goes like this, I start work at 9:00 AM, and I begin by looking at my planner, which is actually an appointment book, this works best for me.
My Prospecting days are scheduled like this, from 9:00 to 12:00 I am making first calls, whether or not they are leads, people who have visited my website or whatever the case may be, first calls are made from 9:00-Noon. At noon, I have some lunch. Then from roughly 12:30 to 2:00 this is admin time, during these hours, I send emails to anyone that I spoke to that would possibly recap what we talked about and include an invitation to attend a call, I mainly have prospecting days on call days, and should you choose you could very well prospect all day on call days and reserve the following day for follow up.
On prospecting day you are making calls in the morning, I use Melissa Data to verify time zone so that I don’t call anyone at 7:00 in the morning, and try to call everyone after 9:00-9:30 AM, and never after 5:30-6:00 at night unless they ask me to.
So I make my calls, present, and let them know I will be sending them an email in the next few hours which contains the information they need to attend an overview call, remember I’m not selling, I’m brokering information, and these calls are part of that process. At this time I’m going to schedule a follow up call, typically I say “Mary after you have had a chance to attend the over view call I’d like to call you back so that I can answer any questions you might have, If it’s Tuesday then I want to call her back no later than Wednesday, some will instruct you to call them back immediately after the call, and this can work if your goal is to emotionally sell them, rather than have them join you from a place of intelligence, remember we want to enroll fewer people who create a stronger foundation rather than a lot who will buy emotionally and quit as a result of buyers remorse, so give them a day to think things through, in our case we have nothing to hide, and should not fear allowing them time to further their due diligence process, now if your prospect is going to visit the scam boards and find a bunch of garbage about your business, then we will address that later on, either by becoming an experts on why it is people post those items, and helping our prospects understand that scam, boards are nothing more than marketing platforms, and there is little or no value to them in making a sound business decision, because everyone posting is a network marketer. Or we will close them more quickly, but we’ll talk about those things another day. “ so Mary What time Wednesday afternoon is best for you? Say it like this because Mary wants all the time she can get before you ask her for money or she has to make a decision, so if you say what is a good day, she will likely say anytime next week, which will never work, because you have to spend your whole call reminding her who you are and why you are calling and so on. Write your appointment in your book. Wednesday after you have made Wednesday calls you know who you have to follow up with and what time they want you to call. Be on time the first time, it’s ok to tell Bob that you really need to run because you have another appointment in order to stay on schedule.
There is one other thing that I do, I use a contact sheet which is nothing more than a document that I print out, that has my prospects name email and phone, and a place for notes, when I hang up every call, or finish every conversation I write down anything important that my prospect told me, for instance why they need a home based business, what they do now, etc. This way when I call her back I remember or appear to remember what we talked about which scores big with your prospects, lets them know they matter. Then I slide the sheets into the planner, and before I dial the number I go back over notes of what they said, this way it is comfortable and is simply a continuation of the previous call.
However it is that you choose to organize and structure your business would be up to you, and would depend on your daily schedule, but just make sure you do it, and it’s structured so that you are not bouncing all over the place, when you are prospecting, that is all you are doing, when you follow up, that is all you are doing, and when you are closing THAT is all you are doing, you will hone your skills, and get better and better by taking this approach and it will also help you to eliminate any discomfort you may have. My partner sometimes says I am a Recruiting Machine, and it’s not that so much as the fact no one gets away, I use a flawless prospecting system that is driven by organization, it’s all part of a process and I never lose track of where I am in the process with any one prospect, I can lay my hands on the place I left off in a matter of seconds, so if my phone rings and Mary says “ Lori this is Mary Smith we spoke yesterday and last night I went to the call, by the time she introduces herself and tries to remind me, I am prepared to ease her discomfort by acknowledging that not only do I remember her, but I recall all of the details, again, you big score when you can do this. So the third most important thing in the process of becoming a master prospector is get organized, develop your system, and use it.
Here's the real truth behind the success of every top income earner in the industry ....work your tail off!!
Working your tail off means doing all the things everyone else won't do, so you can live the life everyone else doesn't have. It means attending ALL of your company and team opportunity and training calls. Working your tail off means finding out who is making it happen and duplicating exactly what they do. It means doing all the repetitive, boring things that breed success over and over and over again until you make it big.
So, what are the things we SHOULD NOT be doing? The following is a list of items we see so many people doing wrong in this industry. If you want to be successful in network marketing you need to consistently work hard and avoid the following 7 pitfalls:
1. Selling and Presenting Your BusinessWe see so many people in this industry trying to sell and talk people into joining their business. That might work if we wanted them to buy a refrigerator from us. The problem with selling people into your network marketing business is that they are not making a "buying" decision. They are making a working decision. Your job is not to convince people that your business is a great opportunity. Your job is to find those people who are searching for your opportunity and upon finding it will do something about it. In a nutshell, you are looking for the “get it done and then some” kind of people.
Utilize your company and team leader's conference calls & websites to do the selling and presenting for you. In simplest terms, let the tools do 90% of the work. That leaves you free to concentrate on the personal part of network marketing ... cultivating relationships, interviewing and choosing the right people.
Never forget that you are looking for serious, motivated, committed people who are ready to do business right now. If you try to sell people, you will end up spending 99% of your time trying to push the wrong people to do the work. The bottom line is, we are in the lifestyle consulting & development business, not sales.
2. Making Income Claims
How many times have you heard how much money the big "Guru" in a network marketing company is making? That may be very well and good, but what does it have to do with how much you will make or how much your prospect will earn with your company? The answer is absolutely nothing. You, your team members and potential prospects could make more or less than the top earner. So, why do so many networkers make income claims when talking to a potential candidate for their business? The answer goes back to Pitfall #1. They are trying to impress and ultimately sell their prospect into the business.
So, if we shouldn't be making income claims, how do we make sure our prospects have a strong understanding of the income potential of doing business with us? The answer is simple. Instead of telling them how much you or someone else in your company makes, present them with a simple business plan they can understand. For example, if sponsoring 10 who sponsor 10 who sponsor 10, will create a six figure income, then that is your sample business plan. Make sure they understand that once they complete the plan, they will be earning the desired income.
Always put the focus on what THEY need to do to make money, not what someone else has done.
3. Three-Waying Prospects Into Opportunity Calls
It never ceases to amaze us how many network marketers will 3-way a prospect into an opportunity call. Think about it. What message is this sending your prospect? It's simple, desperation. Instead of interviewing and making your prospect qualify for your time, you are again back to Pitfall #1, trying to sell someone on your business. Instead, make the attendance of your conference call a qualifier.
See it as the same way you would conduct a job interview. If you were interviewing a candidate for the board of directors of your business, would you drive to their house, pick them up and bring them back to your office? Of course you wouldn't. Sounds pretty silly when we put it that way, doesn't it? Your network marketing business is no different. You are the CEO of your company. You only have time to work with a few serious, motivated and dedicated individuals. If they won't take 25-30 minutes to learn about your business, then quite frankly, you don't want them.
4. Being Too Enthusiastic
Being excited about your business is a very good thing. However, displaying a bunch of over-the-top excitement during an interview call is going to more than likely turn your prospect off, off, off. If you are too enthusiastic when speaking with them, their first thought will probably be that you're about to pitch them on something. Be confident and excited about what you have to offer, but stay away from words like awesome, incredible, amazing, fantastic, easy, great, "you’re going to love this", etc.
5. Not Disqualifying
As we said earlier, smart people invest their time in the serious, motivated people who see the vision and are ready to do business now. So, how can we be sure we’re disqualifying the people that aren’t right for our business? One of the most important things you can do is make a list of the qualities you’re looking for and post it in sight of the area you make your phone calls at. At any time you feel like your prospect is not right for the business, simply let them know. Say something like, "I appreciate your time, but this doesn't sound like something that's for you right now. Why don't we keep in touch by email and if something changes you can give me a call."
Always leave the ball in their court. It's like a game of tennis. Every time they hit the ball back to you, you do the same. Literally – put the ball back into their court. Make them responsible for their actions so you’re spending your time with the right people. Don’t ever hit the ball over the net twice without getting it back first. If you do, you will just burn yourself out.
6. Not focusing on people’s pain – Not solving problems
Too many networkers focus only on getting a prospect information about their business, without learning anything about what the prospect is looking for and why. When speaking with prospects, ask exploratory questions that reveal their values, goals & desires. Really listen and care about what they have to say. The more you understand your prospect, the better you can assist them in getting what they want. Focus on how your business can be a solution to the challenges they're facing. They are interested in what joining your business can do for them, not how "great" and "incredible" it is.
7. Focusing on Details
There are two types of details we are talking about here. The first is the details of your business when talking with prospects. Don't get into long winded discussions about the background of your company. Stop yourself from going on and on about the evolution of the product line or the details of your marketing system. You, of course, want to answer questions. However, the time and place for that is after your prospect has been on a call and read through your website. Once they've done that, answer their questions in a short but informative way. Don't let yourself get side tracked from the topic or over load them with too much information.
The second type of details we're talking about is the details of planning your work. Want to waste 2 hours? Go into your office for 5 minutes. Leaders focus the bulk of their time on result related activities & delegate out everything else. 90% of your time should be spent on phone calls and training your team members. Organizing your business is considered "busy work" and does not count towards the time you need to put in to be successful.
There’s two important things I can say, if you aren’t willing to work for it, you don’t need it. It’s called working from home for a reason, second if you don’t believe you should leave, because in order to achieve your goals you have to believe 100% in what you are doing or every person you talk to will see right through that, and you couldn’t sponsor anyone if your life depended on it, that is a fact.
James Boehm
Showing posts with label belief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label belief. Show all posts
Friday, August 3, 2012
Monday, December 14, 2009
Giving and Receiving
We all have dreams and wishes that we believe would make us happy and fulfilled. I have mine and you probably do too. They are what life is built on. Dreaming energises our wishes and desires. Our experiences and life situations today are the result of yesterday's dreams and thoughts, as Thoughts become things. We become what we think.
Our dreams are likely to involve us receiving or benefiting from a change in our circumstances. We want something to happen. Receiving however is only one half of a two way process. The Chinese philosophy of the Tao te Ching as written by Lao Tsu in 3rd Century BC describes how all energies in the world are balanced in equal measure. When things get out of balance there is disharmony, dissonance and conflict. As night follows day, and winter can contrast with summer, so too does the harmony of opposites complement one another in everything in the Universe i.e. male and female, warm and cold, high and low, dark and light, wealth and poverty. Ideally we should work towards a balance in everything we are involved in.
If receiving is only half of an equation, the other half is the process of giving. Some cultures operate a system of tithing which involves giving a percentage of their income to support a worthy cause. And as they give with one hand, they may receive with the other. There are a number of considerations to the concept of giving. We should endeavour not to see it as a means of receiving what we want, but as an unconditional gift, otherwise the process is manipulative and the donation will not be a gift but more of a transaction, which is not the point. We should give because we want to and let nature take its course.
By giving, we are creating an energy that will be balanced by the return of favour or benefit. The return gift may not come back from the same place that we gave away to, but could come from a completely different source. It can be a gift that we have a real need of for ourselves; we may need money, so to give away money is worthy and selfless.
We can give in a way that is special or unique to us given our abilities and resources, such as specialist advice or practical assistance if it’s in our field. We may eventually receive something that is relatively easy for another person to give, but is exactly what we need. The timing of gifts to us is unlikely to match exactly our own gift. What, how and when we receive will be governed by everything going on in the world. We may even receive before we give.
Having the attitude that there isn’t enough to go round will work against us. A belief in abundance and that there is more than enough in the world is more likely to be of help. There may be some people in some countries with many possessions and other parts of the world with not enough, but generally there is sufficient to go round. Thankfully we all have different tastes and desires.
We tend to hold onto what we have because we have fear of giving it away, but this works against us. This demonstrates a 'lack', so this is what we attract.....more lack of what we want. Love for example is not only an inexhaustible commodity, but the more we give away, the more is returned. So we should endeavour to give away as much as we possibly can, as it will come back to us several fold. We should give away what we want to receive as this demonstrates our faith and belief in abundance so more will come to us. By giving away what we need, we are not sacrificing but manifesting.
What we give and receive may not equate in terms of monetary value but of perceived value, and it may form part of a chain of positive events. There is no way of calculating this and nor should we try. It is the whole hearted and unconditional role of giving that we should aim for, and let anything that is going to come our way, do so if and when it does. And we shall be grateful for it! We should not give something and then sit around waiting for the return benefit.
It's good to give.
James Boehm Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good
Our dreams are likely to involve us receiving or benefiting from a change in our circumstances. We want something to happen. Receiving however is only one half of a two way process. The Chinese philosophy of the Tao te Ching as written by Lao Tsu in 3rd Century BC describes how all energies in the world are balanced in equal measure. When things get out of balance there is disharmony, dissonance and conflict. As night follows day, and winter can contrast with summer, so too does the harmony of opposites complement one another in everything in the Universe i.e. male and female, warm and cold, high and low, dark and light, wealth and poverty. Ideally we should work towards a balance in everything we are involved in.
If receiving is only half of an equation, the other half is the process of giving. Some cultures operate a system of tithing which involves giving a percentage of their income to support a worthy cause. And as they give with one hand, they may receive with the other. There are a number of considerations to the concept of giving. We should endeavour not to see it as a means of receiving what we want, but as an unconditional gift, otherwise the process is manipulative and the donation will not be a gift but more of a transaction, which is not the point. We should give because we want to and let nature take its course.
By giving, we are creating an energy that will be balanced by the return of favour or benefit. The return gift may not come back from the same place that we gave away to, but could come from a completely different source. It can be a gift that we have a real need of for ourselves; we may need money, so to give away money is worthy and selfless.
We can give in a way that is special or unique to us given our abilities and resources, such as specialist advice or practical assistance if it’s in our field. We may eventually receive something that is relatively easy for another person to give, but is exactly what we need. The timing of gifts to us is unlikely to match exactly our own gift. What, how and when we receive will be governed by everything going on in the world. We may even receive before we give.
Having the attitude that there isn’t enough to go round will work against us. A belief in abundance and that there is more than enough in the world is more likely to be of help. There may be some people in some countries with many possessions and other parts of the world with not enough, but generally there is sufficient to go round. Thankfully we all have different tastes and desires.
We tend to hold onto what we have because we have fear of giving it away, but this works against us. This demonstrates a 'lack', so this is what we attract.....more lack of what we want. Love for example is not only an inexhaustible commodity, but the more we give away, the more is returned. So we should endeavour to give away as much as we possibly can, as it will come back to us several fold. We should give away what we want to receive as this demonstrates our faith and belief in abundance so more will come to us. By giving away what we need, we are not sacrificing but manifesting.
What we give and receive may not equate in terms of monetary value but of perceived value, and it may form part of a chain of positive events. There is no way of calculating this and nor should we try. It is the whole hearted and unconditional role of giving that we should aim for, and let anything that is going to come our way, do so if and when it does. And we shall be grateful for it! We should not give something and then sit around waiting for the return benefit.
It's good to give.
James Boehm Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Change your Perception
The mere fact that you are here with us on this site with my Daily Dose Of Good means that you are searching and there is a reason you are here. It's not a mistake you ended up here. You can begin to make different choices in your life today. We believe you are here for a reason. You are ready to know more and "see" more.
The one thing that is consistant in our lives is our belief about ourselves. When we are in full flight of an addiction or compulsion, we have lost a fundamental hold on the positive and true beliefs about who we really are and cannot see past the lies we are telling ourselves. -About ourselves.
When we pick up a drink, drug or engage in a compulsion, we are abandoning the fact that we all are perfect, spiritual beings inside, and getting caught up in the ego part of ourselves which always leads us astray. We are, as many great spiritual leaders have stated, a "double edged sword" or "a spritual being having a human experience", or as eastern philosophy understands, -we have a dual nature inside. There cannot be light without the darkness. All of nature is dual, including ourselves and the way we think about ourselves.
Everyone has struggles
There are chemical addictions and then there are compulsions, what some people want to call "personality quirks" and obsessions. We usually refer to these as alternative compulsions, and can include the obvious addictions such as gambling, sex addiction, compulsive shopping, workaholism, tobacco, weight - eating and not eating -as they say- pick your poison. We also include compulsions like reltationship addicts, people who sabotage themselves in relationships and even people who are addicted to "not enough" in both ways, -either they never have enough or they can never seem to get ahead no matter what they do. This is a person living in a consciousness of lack.
All of these are behaviors which have manifested themselves in different ways but lead back to the same core problem - what you believe about yourself, and how you react to the things that happen to you in life, whether your choice or not. It is always your choice to decide what your reaction will be.
Inner Talk
We argue inside on a daily basis. Minute to minute, you are talking inside, and the words and thoughts you have are forming YOU. The ego part of ourselves is in charge, and the real part of ourselves, our true identity -who we really are, is being buried by the part of us who is agressive, "right", fearful, apprehensive, "in charge", passive agressive, -all the extremes of our behavior which leave us "unbalanced" and looking to fill up our emptiness with something outside of ourselves.
Inside, we all want to be whole, and every cell in our being is crying out for this "rightness" within you to come to the surface and live an effective, fully functioning life that you can be happy about. Yes, you can. You CAN start to change your mind about yourself, regardless of the circumstances that are presenting themselves to you right now.
It is hard to see it when we are "in it" but if you can hang on to that little ray of positive energy that is waiting right there for you to tap into it, you can do it.
Is it all as simple as understanding and then doing? Yes. Changing your mind can begin today. Affirmations work, changing our limited negative self talk works. As you think, you are. As you think, you do. The concept is simple and at the heart of all succesful ways of thought, goal setting techniques and successful living. It is the basis of all of the books out now on "Intention". Meaning, that which we give our attention to, manifests in our lives. Really think about that statement and you will find it to be true. If you can begin to change your mind about YOU, and who you really are, you CAN change your life, and you can begin to do it today. You only have to want to.
It starts at the beginnning
Well, really? Might sound elementary, but a truer statement can't be found! The YOU that is here right now is the culmination of your experiences and beliefs about those experiences in your life. You are a sum total of not only what your life and experiences have made you, more importantly is that you are the person you are because of how your belief system has formed and what you believe to be true about those experiences, whether real or imagined, it doesn't matter. Siblings can grow up with the exact same parents and because they believe differently about the experiences growing up, they are completely different people. We have all seen this. We have also observed that there are trends, actions, abilities, ideas and lifestyles passed on from generation to generation to our parents from their parents, and to us. This is our family of origin and brings issues of its own to the table. This cannot be an "excuse" to act the way you do, but mighth be a parital reason why. Once we find this out, or realize this has happened, -it is time to stop the behavior with US, now...and rewrite the script of our lives. All the world is a stage, said a famous playwrite, and the movie or the play that are our lives have been orchestrated by us...whether we've been aware of it or not. Yes, there are certain circumstances that have occured that were beyond our control, BUT we chose the way we reacted to these events and circunstances, whether on our "auto pilot" or consciously...it has all been a choice. The good news is that WE CAN MAKE DIFFERENT CHOICES BEGINNING TODAY - no matter what the situation is right now.
What has happened is that those beliefs and ideas about what happens in our lives, determines our reactions to those events. And is the basic YOU that lives a certain way through them. People react differently to the same set of circumstances. How many times in our lives have we said that we "wouldn't be like that" and end up being exactly what we said we wouldn't be?
Who you really are - Live the life you were meant to live
Have you ever thought "I'm living someone else's life, not the life I thought I would lead". When we come here, we have a mission of growth that we really want to experience in life. When we get off track, we are unhappy and our real selves are doing all it can to imerge. Ego over-rides our lives like a virus in a computer. Pretty soon, you can't do anything with it that makes sense. We think that in order to cope with the pain and dissappointment that we've understood to be our experience, we need something to make us feel better. And the loop starts. We even argue for our limitations. "I can't help it, that's just the way I am"...Insert your own line. We all have something to work on in this life. We are all meant to live life as fully functioning, happy people being, and doing. Learning to change your mind, let go of all the things that are making us miserable, instead of hanging on to them can lead to the live you are really meant to live. Turn your "curse" into your blessing. You have an opportunity to turn a glaring obsession or disfunction into your greatest asset. You can live the life that YOU imagine.
Every Month A Million
The one thing that is consistant in our lives is our belief about ourselves. When we are in full flight of an addiction or compulsion, we have lost a fundamental hold on the positive and true beliefs about who we really are and cannot see past the lies we are telling ourselves. -About ourselves.
When we pick up a drink, drug or engage in a compulsion, we are abandoning the fact that we all are perfect, spiritual beings inside, and getting caught up in the ego part of ourselves which always leads us astray. We are, as many great spiritual leaders have stated, a "double edged sword" or "a spritual being having a human experience", or as eastern philosophy understands, -we have a dual nature inside. There cannot be light without the darkness. All of nature is dual, including ourselves and the way we think about ourselves.
Everyone has struggles
There are chemical addictions and then there are compulsions, what some people want to call "personality quirks" and obsessions. We usually refer to these as alternative compulsions, and can include the obvious addictions such as gambling, sex addiction, compulsive shopping, workaholism, tobacco, weight - eating and not eating -as they say- pick your poison. We also include compulsions like reltationship addicts, people who sabotage themselves in relationships and even people who are addicted to "not enough" in both ways, -either they never have enough or they can never seem to get ahead no matter what they do. This is a person living in a consciousness of lack.
All of these are behaviors which have manifested themselves in different ways but lead back to the same core problem - what you believe about yourself, and how you react to the things that happen to you in life, whether your choice or not. It is always your choice to decide what your reaction will be.
Inner Talk
We argue inside on a daily basis. Minute to minute, you are talking inside, and the words and thoughts you have are forming YOU. The ego part of ourselves is in charge, and the real part of ourselves, our true identity -who we really are, is being buried by the part of us who is agressive, "right", fearful, apprehensive, "in charge", passive agressive, -all the extremes of our behavior which leave us "unbalanced" and looking to fill up our emptiness with something outside of ourselves.
Inside, we all want to be whole, and every cell in our being is crying out for this "rightness" within you to come to the surface and live an effective, fully functioning life that you can be happy about. Yes, you can. You CAN start to change your mind about yourself, regardless of the circumstances that are presenting themselves to you right now.
It is hard to see it when we are "in it" but if you can hang on to that little ray of positive energy that is waiting right there for you to tap into it, you can do it.
Is it all as simple as understanding and then doing? Yes. Changing your mind can begin today. Affirmations work, changing our limited negative self talk works. As you think, you are. As you think, you do. The concept is simple and at the heart of all succesful ways of thought, goal setting techniques and successful living. It is the basis of all of the books out now on "Intention". Meaning, that which we give our attention to, manifests in our lives. Really think about that statement and you will find it to be true. If you can begin to change your mind about YOU, and who you really are, you CAN change your life, and you can begin to do it today. You only have to want to.
It starts at the beginnning
Well, really? Might sound elementary, but a truer statement can't be found! The YOU that is here right now is the culmination of your experiences and beliefs about those experiences in your life. You are a sum total of not only what your life and experiences have made you, more importantly is that you are the person you are because of how your belief system has formed and what you believe to be true about those experiences, whether real or imagined, it doesn't matter. Siblings can grow up with the exact same parents and because they believe differently about the experiences growing up, they are completely different people. We have all seen this. We have also observed that there are trends, actions, abilities, ideas and lifestyles passed on from generation to generation to our parents from their parents, and to us. This is our family of origin and brings issues of its own to the table. This cannot be an "excuse" to act the way you do, but mighth be a parital reason why. Once we find this out, or realize this has happened, -it is time to stop the behavior with US, now...and rewrite the script of our lives. All the world is a stage, said a famous playwrite, and the movie or the play that are our lives have been orchestrated by us...whether we've been aware of it or not. Yes, there are certain circumstances that have occured that were beyond our control, BUT we chose the way we reacted to these events and circunstances, whether on our "auto pilot" or consciously...it has all been a choice. The good news is that WE CAN MAKE DIFFERENT CHOICES BEGINNING TODAY - no matter what the situation is right now.
What has happened is that those beliefs and ideas about what happens in our lives, determines our reactions to those events. And is the basic YOU that lives a certain way through them. People react differently to the same set of circumstances. How many times in our lives have we said that we "wouldn't be like that" and end up being exactly what we said we wouldn't be?
Who you really are - Live the life you were meant to live
Have you ever thought "I'm living someone else's life, not the life I thought I would lead". When we come here, we have a mission of growth that we really want to experience in life. When we get off track, we are unhappy and our real selves are doing all it can to imerge. Ego over-rides our lives like a virus in a computer. Pretty soon, you can't do anything with it that makes sense. We think that in order to cope with the pain and dissappointment that we've understood to be our experience, we need something to make us feel better. And the loop starts. We even argue for our limitations. "I can't help it, that's just the way I am"...Insert your own line. We all have something to work on in this life. We are all meant to live life as fully functioning, happy people being, and doing. Learning to change your mind, let go of all the things that are making us miserable, instead of hanging on to them can lead to the live you are really meant to live. Turn your "curse" into your blessing. You have an opportunity to turn a glaring obsession or disfunction into your greatest asset. You can live the life that YOU imagine.
Every Month A Million
Monday, November 9, 2009
Paving it Forward – Put Yourself in The Passing Lane
This is another powerful lesson I learned from Lori Duff one of my mentors here at Every Month A Million with our Daily Dose Of Good. My life went from mediocre to phenomenal with this amazing technique of conscious creation.
People spend more time choosing what they are going to wear in the morning than they do choosing how they will connect with people, how they will feel, or what they will accomplish. Pre-paving is consciously choosing how you want to look, live and feel through every part of your day and every part of your life. You might say, “If only life were so simple.” I say, “Yes, it is”, and I will prove it to you.
Pre-paving is telling the Universe what you want before it happens. It is a form of intention that “lines up the energy” so that you can easily manifest what you desire. Whether you realize it or not, all day you are intending, and what you intend you create. You create with your thoughts.
People spend more time choosing what they are going to wear in the morning than they do choosing how they will connect with people, how they will feel, or what they will accomplish. Pre-paving is consciously choosing how you want to look, live and feel through every part of your day and every part of your life. You might say, “If only life were so simple.” I say, “Yes, it is”, and I will prove it to you.
Pre-paving is telling the Universe what you want before it happens. It is a form of intention that “lines up the energy” so that you can easily manifest what you desire. Whether you realize it or not, all day you are intending, and what you intend you create. You create with your thoughts.
In essence, you are already pre-paving, although sometimes you have been pre-paving positively and other times negatively. What you have attracted is the result of what you have consciously or unconsciously paved forward. In other words, whatever you are prepaving, you are creating. Suddenly the idea of pre-paving catches your attention.
Pre-paving is about setting your intention
I like to explain things in terms of energy. When you know the energy behind what thoughts do to your life, you get very motivated to make a change for the positive. Imagine that you have a field of energy immediately surrounding your body, about six inches around your body if you are picturing it.
Every thought you think enters this energy field. This energy field is called your vibration. It is the sum of the thoughts, feelings and intentions that you are currently holding. Your vibration works as a magnet, attracting to you all of the people, events and circumstances in your life.
Your goal is to raise your vibration so you begin attracting the good things in life that you have always wanted. The moment you begin positively pre-paving, your vibration rises immediately.
How it Works
Every thought you think is recorded in the ether and starts to manifest. It manifests according to the degree of energy, conviction and power you give it. When you pre-pave with conviction and belief, you make significant changes in your life in a short period of time. In other words, you change your destiny.
A pre-pave is a statement that tells the Universe what you will do, how you will feel, or what will happen. It is a statement that you can either say verbally (loudly or softly), or you can write it down, or think it mentally.
Whichever way feels right for you is fine, but know this; the more power you put into your pre-pave, the more powerful the result. Think of a hypnotist in action. A hypnotist puts the conscious mind to sleep and within thirty seconds can have you thinking you are a red fire engine. We hypnotize ourselves every moment of the day with the thoughts we choose to hold and the words we choose to speak.
Wish and Reality
The sub-conscious mind cannot distinguish between reality and a wish. It also cannot take a joke. When you think or say something, the sub-conscious mind says “Okay, let’s support this because it must be true”. Even when you are joking around, saying things in jest, you are creating what you are saying.
The sub-conscious mind carries within itself your entire belief system. It works on automatic pilot. It never stops, even when you are sleeping. It creates what has been programmed into it by your conscious mind. If you say things like “I can’t afford it” or “That’s the story of my life”, the subconscious mind takes this as reality and orchestrates everything around you to make it come true.
If you are joking around with your spouse and you say something to the effect of “I do everything around here”, the Universe will manifest more and more situations where you are doing more than your share around the house.
This is where pre-paving comes in. Prepaving is a conscious, positive programming of the sub-conscious mind. When you place a positive command into your sub-conscious mind, it starts working immediately toward making it happen. This is the power of your thought and spoken word.
This is the power of pre-paving. Positive pre-paving is consciously choosing your thoughts and words for a specific result. When you set a pre-pave in motion, it physically “lines up the energy” for its manifestation. What does it mean to “line up the energy”? Let’s look at the analogy of your daily commute to work. If you get in the car and pre-pave safety, the Universe will physically orchestrate circumstances around you in order to keep you safe.
On the other hand, if you do not pre-pave safety as you start your car, you personally may not have accident-consciousness, but the driver next to you may. The result is that you could wind up in an accident situation just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. How many times have you found yourself there, “the wrong place at the wrong time”? This is not by chance These things can be avoided by positive pre-paving.
When you pre-pave, you are never in the wrong place at the wrong time, because the Universe “lines up the energy” for you to be in the right place at the right time.
A Few Tips
You do not need extra time in the day to pre-pave. You are already doing it. It is a matter of practicing it consciously, practicing it positively and choosing pre-paves to create specifically what you want.
The most powerful times to pre-pave are first thing in the morning and last thing at night. These are the times that your consciousness is most powerful for creating. It is when the consciousness is changing from the wakeful state to the sub-conscious state and back again.
Unfortunately, this tends to be the time that most people worry. Worry is a negative pre-pave. Worrying at this time of night and morning is the worst negative pre-pave of all. The comforting thing to know is that a positive thought is one hundred times more powerful than a negative one.
Don’t beat yourself up if you have a fleeting negative thought. The next time you have a negative thought, immediately turn it into the opposite, positive pre-pave. Know that in an instant, you can wipe out the negative thought, one hundred fold. Imagine your life if you could turn all of your worries into positive pre-paves.
There are times when you will want to pre-pave a specific outcome that you desire because you have so clearly etched into your mind what you want. In this case, the more clearly you picture it and know what you want, the better.
There will be other times, however, when you will want to pave forward an outcome that is open-ended, not to limit yourself. I have found my greatest achievement to be when I have left the results open, shooting for the stars and reaching the moon. You will understand more as you read on and begin to practice for yourself.
Pave it forward with conviction
Feel it and mean it. Your pre-pave will be as powerful as your passion and belief. My life has been dramatically changed with pre-paving which is why I have made it the focus of my teaching. I have personally recovered from addictions, moods and a string of self-sabotaging tendencies.
My life went from mediocre to phenomenal with this amazing technique of conscious creation. I have witnessed what it does for people. Pre-paving makes a shift in your consciousness, so much that if you could see energy, you would physically see your vibration change as you instigate each positive command.
People spend more time choosing what they are going to wear in the morning than they do choosing how they will connect with people, how they will feel, or what they will accomplish. Pre-paving is consciously choosing how you want to look, live and feel through every part of your day and every part of your life. You might say, “If only life were so simple.” I say, “Yes, it is”, and I will prove it to you.
Pre-paving is telling the Universe what you want before it happens. It is a form of intention that “lines up the energy” so that you can easily manifest what you desire. Whether you realize it or not, all day you are intending, and what you intend you create. You create with your thoughts.
People spend more time choosing what they are going to wear in the morning than they do choosing how they will connect with people, how they will feel, or what they will accomplish. Pre-paving is consciously choosing how you want to look, live and feel through every part of your day and every part of your life. You might say, “If only life were so simple.” I say, “Yes, it is”, and I will prove it to you.
Pre-paving is telling the Universe what you want before it happens. It is a form of intention that “lines up the energy” so that you can easily manifest what you desire. Whether you realize it or not, all day you are intending, and what you intend you create. You create with your thoughts.
In essence, you are already pre-paving, although sometimes you have been pre-paving positively and other times negatively. What you have attracted is the result of what you have consciously or unconsciously paved forward. In other words, whatever you are prepaving, you are creating. Suddenly the idea of pre-paving catches your attention.
Pre-paving is about setting your intention
I like to explain things in terms of energy. When you know the energy behind what thoughts do to your life, you get very motivated to make a change for the positive. Imagine that you have a field of energy immediately surrounding your body, about six inches around your body if you are picturing it.
Every thought you think enters this energy field. This energy field is called your vibration. It is the sum of the thoughts, feelings and intentions that you are currently holding. Your vibration works as a magnet, attracting to you all of the people, events and circumstances in your life.
Your goal is to raise your vibration so you begin attracting the good things in life that you have always wanted. The moment you begin positively pre-paving, your vibration rises immediately.
How it Works
Every thought you think is recorded in the ether and starts to manifest. It manifests according to the degree of energy, conviction and power you give it. When you pre-pave with conviction and belief, you make significant changes in your life in a short period of time. In other words, you change your destiny.
A pre-pave is a statement that tells the Universe what you will do, how you will feel, or what will happen. It is a statement that you can either say verbally (loudly or softly), or you can write it down, or think it mentally.
Whichever way feels right for you is fine, but know this; the more power you put into your pre-pave, the more powerful the result. Think of a hypnotist in action. A hypnotist puts the conscious mind to sleep and within thirty seconds can have you thinking you are a red fire engine. We hypnotize ourselves every moment of the day with the thoughts we choose to hold and the words we choose to speak.
Wish and Reality
The sub-conscious mind cannot distinguish between reality and a wish. It also cannot take a joke. When you think or say something, the sub-conscious mind says “Okay, let’s support this because it must be true”. Even when you are joking around, saying things in jest, you are creating what you are saying.
The sub-conscious mind carries within itself your entire belief system. It works on automatic pilot. It never stops, even when you are sleeping. It creates what has been programmed into it by your conscious mind. If you say things like “I can’t afford it” or “That’s the story of my life”, the subconscious mind takes this as reality and orchestrates everything around you to make it come true.
If you are joking around with your spouse and you say something to the effect of “I do everything around here”, the Universe will manifest more and more situations where you are doing more than your share around the house.
This is where pre-paving comes in. Prepaving is a conscious, positive programming of the sub-conscious mind. When you place a positive command into your sub-conscious mind, it starts working immediately toward making it happen. This is the power of your thought and spoken word.
This is the power of pre-paving. Positive pre-paving is consciously choosing your thoughts and words for a specific result. When you set a pre-pave in motion, it physically “lines up the energy” for its manifestation. What does it mean to “line up the energy”? Let’s look at the analogy of your daily commute to work. If you get in the car and pre-pave safety, the Universe will physically orchestrate circumstances around you in order to keep you safe.
On the other hand, if you do not pre-pave safety as you start your car, you personally may not have accident-consciousness, but the driver next to you may. The result is that you could wind up in an accident situation just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. How many times have you found yourself there, “the wrong place at the wrong time”? This is not by chance These things can be avoided by positive pre-paving.
When you pre-pave, you are never in the wrong place at the wrong time, because the Universe “lines up the energy” for you to be in the right place at the right time.
A Few Tips
You do not need extra time in the day to pre-pave. You are already doing it. It is a matter of practicing it consciously, practicing it positively and choosing pre-paves to create specifically what you want.
The most powerful times to pre-pave are first thing in the morning and last thing at night. These are the times that your consciousness is most powerful for creating. It is when the consciousness is changing from the wakeful state to the sub-conscious state and back again.
Unfortunately, this tends to be the time that most people worry. Worry is a negative pre-pave. Worrying at this time of night and morning is the worst negative pre-pave of all. The comforting thing to know is that a positive thought is one hundred times more powerful than a negative one.
Don’t beat yourself up if you have a fleeting negative thought. The next time you have a negative thought, immediately turn it into the opposite, positive pre-pave. Know that in an instant, you can wipe out the negative thought, one hundred fold. Imagine your life if you could turn all of your worries into positive pre-paves.
There are times when you will want to pre-pave a specific outcome that you desire because you have so clearly etched into your mind what you want. In this case, the more clearly you picture it and know what you want, the better.
There will be other times, however, when you will want to pave forward an outcome that is open-ended, not to limit yourself. I have found my greatest achievement to be when I have left the results open, shooting for the stars and reaching the moon. You will understand more as you read on and begin to practice for yourself.
Pave it forward with conviction
Feel it and mean it. Your pre-pave will be as powerful as your passion and belief. My life has been dramatically changed with pre-paving which is why I have made it the focus of my teaching. I have personally recovered from addictions, moods and a string of self-sabotaging tendencies.
My life went from mediocre to phenomenal with this amazing technique of conscious creation. I have witnessed what it does for people. Pre-paving makes a shift in your consciousness, so much that if you could see energy, you would physically see your vibration change as you instigate each positive command.
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