Love Yourself First

The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. Yet, how often have you heard yourself say, "I am my own worst enemy"? If your goals involve raising your confidence, ending depression, moving beyond diets or overeating behaviors, or just plain wanting to live a happier, fulfilled life, you have to know what self-love looks like. Learn how to define self-love and then how to bring it into your own life!

Oscar Wilde once stated, "To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance." Love is a mystery and not easily definable. However, it does have certain characteristics. Self-love is a consuming passion for your own happiness. It is an ongoing choice you make to be glad to alive, here on Earth, in your own body.

Self-love occurs when you decide who you are and what you want is important. It is an inner state of being which develops as you decide it is all right to build a kind, sensuous, and meaningful partnership with your self. Self-love involves deciding to connect with your dreams and then supporting yourself with encouraging thoughts and empowering self-supportive actions.

Defining Self-LoveSelf-love is not so much a feeling as it is a decrease of self-doubt and self-disapproval. It involves an ever-growing sense of balance and belonging. Respect, responsibility for self, and feeling good are important values. Self-love means that your well-being matters to yourself unconditionally and in practical terms. The following are some characteristics of self-loving people:

• Self-loving people focus on feeling good.
• Self-loving people allow themselves to be happy and to share this with others.
• Self-loving people tend to treat themselves well.
• They see enjoyment of life as a primary goal most of the time.
• They do not remain in mistreatment by others.
• They are caring towards others. (Because it feels good to do so).
• They put themselves first. Even those they love are a "close second."
• They find a thought that feels good, and practice it.
• They let themselves succeed.


Basic Principles of Self Love
• Who you are is more important than what you are.
• You are valuable. Nothing can change that.
• What you want always matters.


How to Develop and Nurture LoveIncreasing your love of self involves an intention to become more self-loving and then following up this intention with reinforcing actions. An intention involves a conscious decision to be happier and more fulfilled in your own life. You make a new decision to be alive . . . and then accept personal responsibility to make your life a better, more enjoyable experience. It may take considerable effort to pry yourself out of a life that feels less than joyful, but it is entirely possible to have the kind of life you want for yourself. Below are some practical ideas of how to begin expanding your love of self:

• Acknowledge and verbally praise yourself.
• Have fun more often.
• Learn new ways to relax and release tension.
• Practice conscious, deep, full-bodied breathing several times each day.
• Think inspiring thoughts.
• Instead of always focusing on the problem, decide to focus on desired outcomes.
• Fill your life with beauty, such as times of silence, beautiful music, flowers.
• Raise your confidence by taking daily small, achievable actions steps that support your goal.
• Acknowledge your efforts and your successes.
• Reward yourself daily.
• Listen to your intuition and then follow it.
• Let yourself succeed.
• Nurture yourself by imagining desired outcomes to life's situations.
• Offer yourself affection in many, many different ways.
• Choose to think thoughts that bring inner peace (rather than worry).
• Remember and feel gratitude.


Love may be a mystery. The good news is that the art of increasing self-love is not so mysterious. In fact, it is something you can learn through knowledge and practice. Imagine your self-love as a seed inside of you. Even if it is just a tiny, unnourished, seed right now, you have the ability to grow that seed into something spectacular. The growth of your self-love is not going to happen overnight. However, by taking certain actions, your seed will most assuredly grow. Today, make a commitment to yourself to nurture your inner seed of love. Ask yourself, "How can I be more loving to myself today?" Use your imagination and come up with several possibilities. Then, follow through with your thoughts and put them into action. Do this every day, and watch as you begin to create the loving life you deserve.

James Boehm

Self-Confidence Builders: 6 ways you can start feeling better about yourself, starting now

When your self-confidence soars, everything benefits – your body, your relationships, possibly even your pocketbook.

Here are six simple things you can do today to build your self-confidence.

1. Listen to the way you talk to yourself. Experts say that a full 70 to 80% of our thoughts are negative, and that can eat away at your self-confidence - day in and day out. It may sound corny, but changing your inner monologue can help your self-confidence in untold ways.

Here are some ideas:

Set a timer for random, intermittent periods of time. When the alarm goes off, immediately tune in to find out what you were thinking about. If it’s negative, make a conscious effort to bring your thoughts immediately into something more positive.

Write your own affirmations. Say them twice daily – or record them into a tape recorder and listen to them in your car or while doing daily chores.

Ask a friend to listen for negativity in your conversations. When negativity crops up, immediately say something positive.

Listen to behavior modification audios that target negative self-talk. These can be really effective – and come in both subliminal and non-subliminal varieties.

2. Look your best. Superficial as it may sound, the way you feel about your appearance on a daily basis can really build self-confidence. Go through a stack of magazines and tear out photos of hairstyles and clothing that are appealing to you. How can you incorporate some of those images into your present look? It takes just minutes a day to polish your appearance, and you’ll instantly look and feel more self-confident. When you look and feel more confident, you’ll act more confident. And when you act more confident, you’ll be more confident.

3. Stand up straight. When you are feeling down, you are more likely to slouch and frown, which can make a bad mood even worse. Next time you don’t feel like smiling, pull your shoulders back, stand tall, and smile. Before you know it, your smile will be genuine. And you will be exhibiting a more self-confident you to the world.

4. Examine the energy of your friends. What kind of energy do you emit with friends? What kind of energy do your friends emit? Here’s a good litmus test: How do you feel about yourself and the world immediately after you leave the company of your friend? If you feel down and critical, make an effort to be around more positive, self-confident people. Their energy will rub off on you.

5. Catalog your positives. Make a long list of all the accomplishments that you are proud of, and post it where you can see it every day. Now make a list of the personality characteristics that you are proud of. What makes you unique? Celebrate yourself and all the things that make you, you – without trying to change them.

6. Be grateful. Start your day by jotting down 5 things you are looking forward to. And end your day by writing 5 things you enjoyed. By acknowledging the blessings in our lives, we get a sense for the bigger picture and our larger life purpose, which is much, much more than the day-to-day obstacles of our lives.

I will have much more on building your self-confidence in future post, for now use the six simple steps . They work!

Every Month A Million and your Daily Dose Of Good