You have a lot to offer the world, if only you could find the courage to break out of your shell and live life fully and confidently. If you're tired of standing quietly at the back of the crowd, never receiving acknowledgment for your ideas, it's time to change your life.
6 Steps on How to Come Out of One's Shell
Step 1
Follow your convictions. When you do what you think is right, you have only yourself to blame or congratulate for the outcome. It is empowering to realize that you're in control of your life and your actions.
Step 2
Take risks and show initiative in small areas of your life in order to build up confidence. Maybe you're not ready to take on a large public challenge, but by forcing yourself to take small risks every day, your confidence will grow. Share an idea with the office manager for streamlining the filing system. Whether they heed your advice is unimportant, just the fact that you spoke up shows you're advancing.
Step 3
Admit your errors and move forward. Many of us fear being wrong so much that we hide our mistakes. Once you learn to say, "I'm sorry, that was my fault," you'll find others warming to you because you are more approachable. It takes a confident person to admit their errors.
Step 4
Acknowledge compliments with grace and acceptance. You can be modest without selling yourself out. Train yourself to bite your tongue before uttering, "Oh, it was nothing…" Instead, respond with, "Thank you. I'm so glad you like it." It's okay to be proud of what you have accomplished.
Step 5
Treat yourself every time you pass another confidence hurdle. Self-esteem is its own reward, but reinforcing each success with a new book, a night at the movies or that handbag you've had your eye on will provide even more motivation to come out of your shell.
Step 6
Look for the silver lining. Despite gloomy circumstances, strive to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Take time to think the situation through and set your sights on a better future. If you're stuck in a dead end job, make a firm decision to work towards a better career and do at least one small thing every day to make that change come true.
Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good
Monday, November 30, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Take Action To Achieve Your Dreams
You have a dream. Maybe you want to climb Mt Everest, move to another country to earn money for your future, start your own business or even go back into the working world after spending a few years taking care of the kids.
Why aren’t you doing it? What’s holding you back?
Listen, a dream is a vision in our mind. Creative dreaming without action is a far-fetched realization to goal attainment.
Typical examples are the great wonders of the world, those landmarks that typify or define the greatness of nations. Landmarks like the Statue of Liberty of the United States of America, the Big Ben of England, the Taj Mahal of India, the Great Wall of China, and numerous more. Imagine if these great ideas, these dreams were not acted upon, will we ever have them to be enjoyed by people from every nation on earth? What kind of achievement will each nation have if great thinkers just sit on their ideas and never acted on it. Absolutely nothing. We would probably be facing each other blankly wondering why and what went wrong?
Probably you’d say: “Oh? well? we still have the natural wonders like Niagara Falls, Mt. Fuji, beautiful coral reefs everywhere on earth.” Yes? but these are God’s creations. God did not create man in His own image if He thinks we won’t be using our creativity and put it into action. He might as well take it away from us. He expects us to act on it.
So what’s keeping us from acting on our ideas? We can name a few. Fear of failure is our biggest deterrent. Fear of being ridiculed, fear of sinking further to a depressed state than we presently are, fear of totally losing all we’ve got if we don’t achieve our personal goals, fear of taking risks.
We all have to take risk at one time or another. Risk may come to us in a variety of reasons, big or small. There are risks we can do without, but there are risks that leave us no option but to take and act on it.
As you can see, risks come in many forms. For comparison purposes, let us consider two: risk similar to winning or losing when we gamble and risk in pursuit of a goal.
The risk involved in gambling is for non-thinkers. This is tantamount to luck risk, not good judgment risk. Risk of this kind has no room in goal realization. It is like ignoring safety on the road, just for kicks, come what may, short-lived, to satisfy a craving.
However, risks taken to achieve goal has a definite lasting purpose, a purpose that will bring untold benefits once you achieve your goals. It is a risk worth taking for thinkers, not for happy-go-lucky non-thinkers. Risk in pursuit of a goal will bring stability and security in life, ultimately leading to happiness.
Whenever fear grips us, think positively. Look at it this way. Will we ever get anywhere if we don’t take the risk to act on our dreams? Will we be satisfied with our inaction, five, ten, or twenty years from now?
If you notice, there is one common denominator that is holding us back from acting on our dreams, that thing called fear. Fear is the biggest stumbling block to acting on a creative dream that it practically holds everything still. So it is imperative that we eliminate fear in our feelings to clear the way to our goal.
To overcome this fear, we have to face fear on the face, eye to eye, mano y mano. Let us take a typical example, say you have a fear of speaking in public. I guess a majority of us do. Worst scenario that could happen is you will get tongue-tied and spoil your entire speech in spite of having committed the entire speech into memory. You become the laughing stock of the audience. Don’t let it prevent you from speaking in public the next time around because if you do, fear has won over you and you will be cowering in this kind of fear for the rest of your life. To win over fear, draw lessons from your failure and capitalize on it the next time around. Don’t stop till you have successfully made a good speech. Once you do, you have actually turned the table around. This time, it is fear that fears you.
Another example with a somewhat different twist, say you are a lifeguard and you failed to save a drowning person who apparently should have been saved. Now this is a big failure because a life was at stake here. In spite of this, don’t give up being a lifeguard just because of one mistake. Think about the other lives you have saved before and will be saving if you continue to do so. Say you were able to save a person in an otherwise hopeless situation, doesn’t this offset or overcome the previous failure that happened?
The idea here is to give your best. Once you give your best, it just doesn’t get any better because it is already the best.
When you act on your dreams, think of your actions in a positive way. What you think is what will happen. What the mind can conceive, the body can achieve. Believe that the likely outcome of a thing that we do depends mostly on how we set our mind on it. Our actions originate from our thoughts and the ultimate result is dictated by our mind as well. If we think it will fail, it will. If we think it will succeed, it will. Mental thinking or attitude is the master of the actions we undertake.
Where your mental attitude is directed for a longer period of time, the more difficult it is to change to the opposite direction. If your mind is set on negative thoughts, the more difficult it will be to change to positive thoughts if you do not act on it immediately. However, if your mind is already set on positive thoughts for a long time, it will remain firm on this attitude as time goes by.
Defeat is imminent if your thoughts are in this direction. You may say: “I told you so” that an action has failed because you think it will, just to satisfy yourself when in fact, you are just looking for an excuse or easy way out. The end result is still a failure and what does that make you, a failure. You are just fooling yourself.
On the other hand, success is imminent when your thoughts say it will. Even if it fails the first time, you will learn from your failure and when you try again, you will ultimately succeed as you gain more experience. Keep on trying and persevering. There should be no let up and when success is at hand, you would have defeated defeat.
Here’s another nugget of thought. If you go all out and risk everything, there is nothing left to risk. When that happens, the only possible outcome is success.
Don’t give up your dreams without even fighting for them just because the risks are too great.
The greater the risk, the bigger the reward and success is sweeter. Either way, whether you achieve your dream or not, you will come out of it a better person.
Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good
Why aren’t you doing it? What’s holding you back?
Listen, a dream is a vision in our mind. Creative dreaming without action is a far-fetched realization to goal attainment.
Typical examples are the great wonders of the world, those landmarks that typify or define the greatness of nations. Landmarks like the Statue of Liberty of the United States of America, the Big Ben of England, the Taj Mahal of India, the Great Wall of China, and numerous more. Imagine if these great ideas, these dreams were not acted upon, will we ever have them to be enjoyed by people from every nation on earth? What kind of achievement will each nation have if great thinkers just sit on their ideas and never acted on it. Absolutely nothing. We would probably be facing each other blankly wondering why and what went wrong?
Probably you’d say: “Oh? well? we still have the natural wonders like Niagara Falls, Mt. Fuji, beautiful coral reefs everywhere on earth.” Yes? but these are God’s creations. God did not create man in His own image if He thinks we won’t be using our creativity and put it into action. He might as well take it away from us. He expects us to act on it.
So what’s keeping us from acting on our ideas? We can name a few. Fear of failure is our biggest deterrent. Fear of being ridiculed, fear of sinking further to a depressed state than we presently are, fear of totally losing all we’ve got if we don’t achieve our personal goals, fear of taking risks.
We all have to take risk at one time or another. Risk may come to us in a variety of reasons, big or small. There are risks we can do without, but there are risks that leave us no option but to take and act on it.
As you can see, risks come in many forms. For comparison purposes, let us consider two: risk similar to winning or losing when we gamble and risk in pursuit of a goal.
The risk involved in gambling is for non-thinkers. This is tantamount to luck risk, not good judgment risk. Risk of this kind has no room in goal realization. It is like ignoring safety on the road, just for kicks, come what may, short-lived, to satisfy a craving.
However, risks taken to achieve goal has a definite lasting purpose, a purpose that will bring untold benefits once you achieve your goals. It is a risk worth taking for thinkers, not for happy-go-lucky non-thinkers. Risk in pursuit of a goal will bring stability and security in life, ultimately leading to happiness.
Whenever fear grips us, think positively. Look at it this way. Will we ever get anywhere if we don’t take the risk to act on our dreams? Will we be satisfied with our inaction, five, ten, or twenty years from now?
If you notice, there is one common denominator that is holding us back from acting on our dreams, that thing called fear. Fear is the biggest stumbling block to acting on a creative dream that it practically holds everything still. So it is imperative that we eliminate fear in our feelings to clear the way to our goal.
To overcome this fear, we have to face fear on the face, eye to eye, mano y mano. Let us take a typical example, say you have a fear of speaking in public. I guess a majority of us do. Worst scenario that could happen is you will get tongue-tied and spoil your entire speech in spite of having committed the entire speech into memory. You become the laughing stock of the audience. Don’t let it prevent you from speaking in public the next time around because if you do, fear has won over you and you will be cowering in this kind of fear for the rest of your life. To win over fear, draw lessons from your failure and capitalize on it the next time around. Don’t stop till you have successfully made a good speech. Once you do, you have actually turned the table around. This time, it is fear that fears you.
Another example with a somewhat different twist, say you are a lifeguard and you failed to save a drowning person who apparently should have been saved. Now this is a big failure because a life was at stake here. In spite of this, don’t give up being a lifeguard just because of one mistake. Think about the other lives you have saved before and will be saving if you continue to do so. Say you were able to save a person in an otherwise hopeless situation, doesn’t this offset or overcome the previous failure that happened?
The idea here is to give your best. Once you give your best, it just doesn’t get any better because it is already the best.
When you act on your dreams, think of your actions in a positive way. What you think is what will happen. What the mind can conceive, the body can achieve. Believe that the likely outcome of a thing that we do depends mostly on how we set our mind on it. Our actions originate from our thoughts and the ultimate result is dictated by our mind as well. If we think it will fail, it will. If we think it will succeed, it will. Mental thinking or attitude is the master of the actions we undertake.
Where your mental attitude is directed for a longer period of time, the more difficult it is to change to the opposite direction. If your mind is set on negative thoughts, the more difficult it will be to change to positive thoughts if you do not act on it immediately. However, if your mind is already set on positive thoughts for a long time, it will remain firm on this attitude as time goes by.
Defeat is imminent if your thoughts are in this direction. You may say: “I told you so” that an action has failed because you think it will, just to satisfy yourself when in fact, you are just looking for an excuse or easy way out. The end result is still a failure and what does that make you, a failure. You are just fooling yourself.
On the other hand, success is imminent when your thoughts say it will. Even if it fails the first time, you will learn from your failure and when you try again, you will ultimately succeed as you gain more experience. Keep on trying and persevering. There should be no let up and when success is at hand, you would have defeated defeat.
Here’s another nugget of thought. If you go all out and risk everything, there is nothing left to risk. When that happens, the only possible outcome is success.
Don’t give up your dreams without even fighting for them just because the risks are too great.
The greater the risk, the bigger the reward and success is sweeter. Either way, whether you achieve your dream or not, you will come out of it a better person.
Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good
Friday, November 27, 2009
7 Ways to Break Out of Your Comfort Zone and Live a More Exciting Life
Any change, or even an attempt to change anything you are doing, makes you uncomfortable. By attempting to change, you move out of your comfort zone. You feel increasingly uneasy. You experience stress and tension. If the change is too extreme, your physical and mental health can be affected. You will experience sleeplessness, indigestion, or fatigue. You may react with impatience, irritability or anger. You will often feel as if you are on an emotional roller-coaster.
Raise Your Internal Standards
So if you want to sell more and earn more, you must increase your self-concept level of income. You must increase the amount you believe yourself capable of earning. You must raise your aspirations, set higher goals, and make detailed plans to achieve them. You must begin to see yourself and think about yourself as capable of being one of the highest earning salespeople in your field. You must take charge of developing a new self-concept for sales and income that is more consistent with what you really want to accomplish.
Build Your Self-Concept Level of Income
Your self-concept determines your levels of performance and effectiveness in everything you do. In sales, you have a series of mini-self-concepts that govern every activity of selling. You have a self-concept for prospecting, for using the telephone, for cold calling, for making appointments, for qualifying, for presenting, for answering questions, for closing, for getting referrals, and for making follow-up sales. You have a self-concept of your level of product knowledge, your personal management skills, your level of motivation and for the way that you relate to different types of customers. In every case, you will always perform in a manner consistent with your self-concept.
The Key to Peak Performance
Wherever you have a high self-concept, you perform well. If you enjoy working on the telephone, you look forward eagerly to telephone prospecting and selling and you do it well. If you have a high self-concept for making presentations or for closing sales, you feel comfortable and competent whenever you are doing them.
Wherever you feel tense or uneasy in selling, it means that you have a low self-concept in that area. You do not feel comfortable when you are engaged in that activity. You probably avoid that activity as much as possible.
This is normal and natural. The only question is, "What are you going to do about it?"
Action Exercises
It’s easy to get stuck.
Nestle yourself deeper and deeper into that warm, safe and comforting comfort zone.
But if you want to improve your life you’ll sooner or later need to step out of that zone. Because it’s there you’ll find all those new and exciting experiences. Where you’ll find freedom from boredom.
Here are 7 ideas that can help you get out of your comfort zone. Some are ways to make the process easier. Some are ways you may not have thought of (or forgotten).
1. Face your fears. But do it in small steps.
This is one of the best ways to overcome fears and get out of your comfort zone. What holds us back in our zone of comfort is often a fear or that facing that fear straight on might be overwhelming. This is a solution to those two problems. It allows you to stretch your comfort zone slowly making it less uncomfortable and frightening.
If you’re for instance nervous socially you might not feel able to ask people out on dates right away. The fear of being rejected and that others might think less of you if you get turned down can make many of us feel unable to ask the question.
So you take small steps instead. Steps like first just saying hi to people. Or starting to talk more to people online via forums and Instant Messaging. And then trying to be more involved in conversations at work or in school to exercise your conversation-muscles.
I guess one could say that you gradually de-sensitize yourself to social situations or whatever you are afraid of. Or, seeing it in a more motivating light, that you are building courage and expanding your comfort zone in this part of your life (which is something that often seeps over to other areas of life too.)
So, identify your fear. Then make a plan with some smaller steps you can take to gradually lessen your discomfort.
2. Try something weird.
One obvious way to move out of your comfort zone is to do something new. But a more interesting option might be to think of doing something weird. When you choose something new you may choose something that is line with your personality. So your experiences can become limited. Instead, choose something that’s out of character for you. Something that isn’t you as you are right now. Something that you – and/or the people close to you – wouldn’t think that you would do.
3. Make a new acquaintance.
This will expose your to new experiences, opinions and interests. And it’s not just about meeting new people the usual way. Try just picking up a biography about someone you know nothing about. Start reading a book from a writer you haven’t read before. Read about a random topic at Wikipedia. Or add an unexpected RSS-feed about something you normally never read about.
4. Take a friend with you.
In general, it’s often easier to not go it alone. And this applies to many situations. Including when you are going for the emotional bungee jump that getting out of your comfort zone can be.
I’d say this probably the most popular way to get yourself out of comfort zones. If you are going to a party where you know few people then it may be easier to bring a friend. If you have decided to start going to the gym it might be easier to actually get going and keeping going there every week if you have a gym-partner.
However, there are potential downsides to bringing friends too. If you are at the party with your friend then you might not meet and get to know that many new people. If you are going to the gym with a partner it might lead to the two of you talking and focusing less on getting a great workout.
5. Educate yourself.
Your comfort zone might be protecting your from imaginary dangers. Maybe things aren’t as difficult or scary as you imagine? Do a bit of research. Getting some good information can dissipate quite a bit of your fear and nervousness.
Do a bit of Googling. Read books and blogs. Ask someone who has been there before. By reading/hearing about what others that have done the same thing you are about to do saw, heard, felt and did you can not only lessen negative feelings but also get some very valuable and practical tips.
6. Awash your mind with positive memories.
Realise it can be fun to get out of your comfort zone despite what your mind and feelings might be telling you before you get started. Think back to the previous times when you have broken out of your comfort zone. Focus on the positive memories, when you got out there, when you took a chance. And it wasn’t so bad, it was actually fun and exciting and something new to you.
A lot of times we automatically play back our negative experiences – or negative interpretations of events – in our minds before we are about to do something. And we forget about the positive memories and our previous, positive achievements. Avoid that trap. Let the good memories flow through your mind instead and let things become easier.
7. Use other methods to pump yourself up.
Besides remembering positive memories, there are a whole bunch of things you can do to pump up your emotional state temporarily. Here is a small list of such tips within in this list:
Use Music. Listen to uplifting and motivational music.
Use Your Body. How you use your body affects how you feel. Move in a confident way and you’ll soon feel more confident. Move in an excited way and you’ll soon feel more excited.
Use Your Imagination. Close your eyes. Visualize how great everything will unfold. How wonderful and excited you will feel. This is a whole lot more useful than seeing in your mind how everything will turn out badly.
Use Guided Meditation. I like Talking to Win and Self-Esteem Supercharger by Learning Strategies. They are useful for giving you a positive boost for a couple of days.
Use Your Breathing. Not exactly a way to pump yourself up but rather to calm yourself down quickly.
If you want to succeed at a higher level then you need to continually challenge yourself. Keep trying something new.
Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good
Raise Your Internal Standards
So if you want to sell more and earn more, you must increase your self-concept level of income. You must increase the amount you believe yourself capable of earning. You must raise your aspirations, set higher goals, and make detailed plans to achieve them. You must begin to see yourself and think about yourself as capable of being one of the highest earning salespeople in your field. You must take charge of developing a new self-concept for sales and income that is more consistent with what you really want to accomplish.
Build Your Self-Concept Level of Income
Your self-concept determines your levels of performance and effectiveness in everything you do. In sales, you have a series of mini-self-concepts that govern every activity of selling. You have a self-concept for prospecting, for using the telephone, for cold calling, for making appointments, for qualifying, for presenting, for answering questions, for closing, for getting referrals, and for making follow-up sales. You have a self-concept of your level of product knowledge, your personal management skills, your level of motivation and for the way that you relate to different types of customers. In every case, you will always perform in a manner consistent with your self-concept.
The Key to Peak Performance
Wherever you have a high self-concept, you perform well. If you enjoy working on the telephone, you look forward eagerly to telephone prospecting and selling and you do it well. If you have a high self-concept for making presentations or for closing sales, you feel comfortable and competent whenever you are doing them.
Wherever you feel tense or uneasy in selling, it means that you have a low self-concept in that area. You do not feel comfortable when you are engaged in that activity. You probably avoid that activity as much as possible.
This is normal and natural. The only question is, "What are you going to do about it?"
Action Exercises
It’s easy to get stuck.
Nestle yourself deeper and deeper into that warm, safe and comforting comfort zone.
But if you want to improve your life you’ll sooner or later need to step out of that zone. Because it’s there you’ll find all those new and exciting experiences. Where you’ll find freedom from boredom.
Here are 7 ideas that can help you get out of your comfort zone. Some are ways to make the process easier. Some are ways you may not have thought of (or forgotten).
1. Face your fears. But do it in small steps.
This is one of the best ways to overcome fears and get out of your comfort zone. What holds us back in our zone of comfort is often a fear or that facing that fear straight on might be overwhelming. This is a solution to those two problems. It allows you to stretch your comfort zone slowly making it less uncomfortable and frightening.
If you’re for instance nervous socially you might not feel able to ask people out on dates right away. The fear of being rejected and that others might think less of you if you get turned down can make many of us feel unable to ask the question.
So you take small steps instead. Steps like first just saying hi to people. Or starting to talk more to people online via forums and Instant Messaging. And then trying to be more involved in conversations at work or in school to exercise your conversation-muscles.
I guess one could say that you gradually de-sensitize yourself to social situations or whatever you are afraid of. Or, seeing it in a more motivating light, that you are building courage and expanding your comfort zone in this part of your life (which is something that often seeps over to other areas of life too.)
So, identify your fear. Then make a plan with some smaller steps you can take to gradually lessen your discomfort.
2. Try something weird.
One obvious way to move out of your comfort zone is to do something new. But a more interesting option might be to think of doing something weird. When you choose something new you may choose something that is line with your personality. So your experiences can become limited. Instead, choose something that’s out of character for you. Something that isn’t you as you are right now. Something that you – and/or the people close to you – wouldn’t think that you would do.
3. Make a new acquaintance.
This will expose your to new experiences, opinions and interests. And it’s not just about meeting new people the usual way. Try just picking up a biography about someone you know nothing about. Start reading a book from a writer you haven’t read before. Read about a random topic at Wikipedia. Or add an unexpected RSS-feed about something you normally never read about.
4. Take a friend with you.
In general, it’s often easier to not go it alone. And this applies to many situations. Including when you are going for the emotional bungee jump that getting out of your comfort zone can be.
I’d say this probably the most popular way to get yourself out of comfort zones. If you are going to a party where you know few people then it may be easier to bring a friend. If you have decided to start going to the gym it might be easier to actually get going and keeping going there every week if you have a gym-partner.
However, there are potential downsides to bringing friends too. If you are at the party with your friend then you might not meet and get to know that many new people. If you are going to the gym with a partner it might lead to the two of you talking and focusing less on getting a great workout.
5. Educate yourself.
Your comfort zone might be protecting your from imaginary dangers. Maybe things aren’t as difficult or scary as you imagine? Do a bit of research. Getting some good information can dissipate quite a bit of your fear and nervousness.
Do a bit of Googling. Read books and blogs. Ask someone who has been there before. By reading/hearing about what others that have done the same thing you are about to do saw, heard, felt and did you can not only lessen negative feelings but also get some very valuable and practical tips.
6. Awash your mind with positive memories.
Realise it can be fun to get out of your comfort zone despite what your mind and feelings might be telling you before you get started. Think back to the previous times when you have broken out of your comfort zone. Focus on the positive memories, when you got out there, when you took a chance. And it wasn’t so bad, it was actually fun and exciting and something new to you.
A lot of times we automatically play back our negative experiences – or negative interpretations of events – in our minds before we are about to do something. And we forget about the positive memories and our previous, positive achievements. Avoid that trap. Let the good memories flow through your mind instead and let things become easier.
7. Use other methods to pump yourself up.
Besides remembering positive memories, there are a whole bunch of things you can do to pump up your emotional state temporarily. Here is a small list of such tips within in this list:
Use Music. Listen to uplifting and motivational music.
Use Your Body. How you use your body affects how you feel. Move in a confident way and you’ll soon feel more confident. Move in an excited way and you’ll soon feel more excited.
Use Your Imagination. Close your eyes. Visualize how great everything will unfold. How wonderful and excited you will feel. This is a whole lot more useful than seeing in your mind how everything will turn out badly.
Use Guided Meditation. I like Talking to Win and Self-Esteem Supercharger by Learning Strategies. They are useful for giving you a positive boost for a couple of days.
Use Your Breathing. Not exactly a way to pump yourself up but rather to calm yourself down quickly.
If you want to succeed at a higher level then you need to continually challenge yourself. Keep trying something new.
Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Giving Thanks at Thanksgiving
I have child and frequently struggle with how to teach him about gratitude and contentment. Frankly, it’s something I struggle with myself. So the Thanksgiving week carries with it that annual opportunity to teach them (and remind myself) about the things for which to be grateful. I don’t want the week to pass without having communicated with my child that Thanksgiving is much, much more than days off of school, lots of good food and a few football games on television.
It’s helpful to remember the origins of the holiday, so here’s a brief refresher course on Thanksgiving.
On September 6, 1620, a ship with just over 100 people on board left the shores of England en route to America. On board were Pilgrims—men, women and children in search of freedom from the religious persecution they had endured in Europe. Freedom they were willing to travel a world away to obtain.
However, that freedom came at a high price. Their cramped vessel sailed for two months across the Atlantic Ocean before reaching the shore of their new homeland. On their ship, the Mayflower, passengers had to endure wind-tossed seas and storms, scurvy and even death before sighting land.
Once ashore, the passengers and crew, many disease-ridden from the voyage, set about making a new home in a strange and unknown landscape. Having landed at Plymouth Rock (located in what would become known as Massachusetts) in November, it was not long before temperatures began to fall. Imagine facing that cold season having to build a colony and gather food with limited supplies, while you and/or many of your fellow settlers battled sickness and disease. By springtime, only half of the colonists had survived.
The Pilgrims' sacrifice was a high price to pay for the freedom they sought: thousands of miles away from civilization, harsh untamed country, dozens dying. All in support of a noble dream. And yet the Pilgrims were grateful.
As spring and summer rolled on the survivors were able plant crops with the help of local Indians and by fall, they had an abundance of food. They expressed that gratitude as a community and invited the Indians who had helped them to join in their three-day harvest feast and festival.
Fast forward to today.
I’m betting that if the Pilgrims who celebrated on that first Thanksgiving could see the dissatisfaction and frustration so often expressed at this time of year, despite the abundance we enjoy, they would truly be perplexed.
The Pilgrims had to struggle with how to meet their most basic human needs. They needed food, they needed shelter—they needed to survive the winter.
Here’s what I need to remind myself of—at a minimum, our basic human needs are being met. It’s likely that everyone reading this column knows where their next meal is coming from. It’s likely that none of us are particularly concerned about what the temperature will be outside when we go to bed tonight. And for most of us, our assets go way beyond food and shelter.
For example, we enjoy modern conveniences like dishwashers and microwaves. We drive comfortable cars. We get to choose from among an assortment of clothing what to wear each day.
And many of us will spend the holiday with family and friends gathered around us. Perhaps some more anticipated than others, but they are with us nonetheless.
Think about it. We have so much more than the Pilgrims did in that fall of 1621.
Ironically, many of the struggles we face in this modern life are directly related to all that we can enjoy. Our time and money get stretched because of an ever growing number of things to choose from. We often face self-imposed stress, particularly related to finances, because we buy bigger and better whether we can afford it or not.
Of course, it’s true that many of us face real-life problems like illness, strained relationships and others. And for some this time of year seems to amplify those things even more.
But we also have so much for which to be grateful.
I hope you’ll pardon the preachiness, but we need to slow down, give thanks, say thanks, and remember what we have—not what we don’t have.
I’m not pointing fingers because I’m in no position to do so. I am guilty of the very attitude I’ve described.
But all of us—and especially our children—will find life so much more enjoyable and meaningful when we learn the discipline of gratitude. (And it is a discipline, by the way. It does not come naturally.)
There’s a story to be told here—to our children and ourselves. The Pilgrims showed us how to be grateful for the simple things in life and to do so in the face of great sacrifice. They had so little, but were grateful in spite of it all. How can we who have so much not also be drawn to gratitude for all that we enjoy?
Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good
It’s helpful to remember the origins of the holiday, so here’s a brief refresher course on Thanksgiving.
On September 6, 1620, a ship with just over 100 people on board left the shores of England en route to America. On board were Pilgrims—men, women and children in search of freedom from the religious persecution they had endured in Europe. Freedom they were willing to travel a world away to obtain.
However, that freedom came at a high price. Their cramped vessel sailed for two months across the Atlantic Ocean before reaching the shore of their new homeland. On their ship, the Mayflower, passengers had to endure wind-tossed seas and storms, scurvy and even death before sighting land.
Once ashore, the passengers and crew, many disease-ridden from the voyage, set about making a new home in a strange and unknown landscape. Having landed at Plymouth Rock (located in what would become known as Massachusetts) in November, it was not long before temperatures began to fall. Imagine facing that cold season having to build a colony and gather food with limited supplies, while you and/or many of your fellow settlers battled sickness and disease. By springtime, only half of the colonists had survived.
The Pilgrims' sacrifice was a high price to pay for the freedom they sought: thousands of miles away from civilization, harsh untamed country, dozens dying. All in support of a noble dream. And yet the Pilgrims were grateful.
As spring and summer rolled on the survivors were able plant crops with the help of local Indians and by fall, they had an abundance of food. They expressed that gratitude as a community and invited the Indians who had helped them to join in their three-day harvest feast and festival.
Fast forward to today.
I’m betting that if the Pilgrims who celebrated on that first Thanksgiving could see the dissatisfaction and frustration so often expressed at this time of year, despite the abundance we enjoy, they would truly be perplexed.
The Pilgrims had to struggle with how to meet their most basic human needs. They needed food, they needed shelter—they needed to survive the winter.
Here’s what I need to remind myself of—at a minimum, our basic human needs are being met. It’s likely that everyone reading this column knows where their next meal is coming from. It’s likely that none of us are particularly concerned about what the temperature will be outside when we go to bed tonight. And for most of us, our assets go way beyond food and shelter.
For example, we enjoy modern conveniences like dishwashers and microwaves. We drive comfortable cars. We get to choose from among an assortment of clothing what to wear each day.
And many of us will spend the holiday with family and friends gathered around us. Perhaps some more anticipated than others, but they are with us nonetheless.
Think about it. We have so much more than the Pilgrims did in that fall of 1621.
Ironically, many of the struggles we face in this modern life are directly related to all that we can enjoy. Our time and money get stretched because of an ever growing number of things to choose from. We often face self-imposed stress, particularly related to finances, because we buy bigger and better whether we can afford it or not.
Of course, it’s true that many of us face real-life problems like illness, strained relationships and others. And for some this time of year seems to amplify those things even more.
But we also have so much for which to be grateful.
I hope you’ll pardon the preachiness, but we need to slow down, give thanks, say thanks, and remember what we have—not what we don’t have.
I’m not pointing fingers because I’m in no position to do so. I am guilty of the very attitude I’ve described.
But all of us—and especially our children—will find life so much more enjoyable and meaningful when we learn the discipline of gratitude. (And it is a discipline, by the way. It does not come naturally.)
There’s a story to be told here—to our children and ourselves. The Pilgrims showed us how to be grateful for the simple things in life and to do so in the face of great sacrifice. They had so little, but were grateful in spite of it all. How can we who have so much not also be drawn to gratitude for all that we enjoy?
Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Overcoming Self Criticism-Negative Thoughts and You
Self criticism, why do we do it and how do we stop it?
Self criticism is one of the worst forms of criticism there is. Who else is better at telling you how, fat, and ugly, stupid or incapable you are then YOU? Self criticism is something that lowers our self esteem by confirming beliefs that we hold within our subconscious minds. So how does it work? And how easy is it to change our thoughts patterns so that we can hold positive and encouraging dialogue with ourselves and ultimately change our beliefs? This article aims to answer these questions.
What is self criticism?
Self criticism is the negative internal dialogue that you hold with yourself within your mind. It is the voice that is constantly judging, comparing, abusing and being negative.
How does it work?
Each of us holds a personal belief system which is made up of our values and laws that we use to bounce ideas off to make personal decisions. It is the responsibility of our subconscious mind to communicate with our conscious mind to decide on our behavior, thoughts and feelings.
When you believe something, your mind will actively search out information to support you, even when this belief is negative. This is done by your sub-conscious asking the conscious mind to ‘keep a look out’ for things that will determine the belief as true.
When these belief systems are negative, such as ‘I am fat and unlovable’ our minds become biased and begin to interpret neutral information into supporting evidence. The more information we find to support these beliefs the more we reassure ourselves that we are right. These negative beliefs are also termed limiting beliefs and are limiting because they are not true. They are simply just beliefs.
Where does it come from?
Self criticism can come from early childhood experiences deriving from issues of abandonment, neglect and abuse. However, it is not necessary to have been through childhood trauma to experience low self esteem and forms of self criticism. Some people are naturally harder on themselves such as high achievers and ‘Type A Personalities’. “Type A individuals can be described as impatient, excessively time-conscious, insecure about their status, highly competitive, hostile and aggressive, and incapable of relaxation” (en.wikipedia.org).
Who can change it?
Fortunately, the power of change to your life lives within your own hands. You have every tool you need to change your life. All you need is an open and willing mind and a bit of time and energy for dedication.
How do we change it?
The key is awareness. A lot of people get stuck in old habits and are totally unaware they are doing the things they do. If you can become aware of when you are verbally beating yourself up you can actively make the choice to stop.
Instead of saying ‘you’re fat and ugly’ try saying ‘you look nice today’. Even if you don’t believe it, your mind will begin to change. Every time it hears something nice about itself, it goes out to support the statement and eventually starts to build a series of self-evidence.
Think of your mind as a friend. You wouldn’t let your best friend judge and abuse you so don’t treat yourself in this way.
Have the relationship with yourself that you would like to have with others, kind, compassionate, considerate and understanding.
A simple Exercise
1. Start be writing down three things you would like to believe about yourself for example I am worthy of true love, I am a beautiful and creative person, I am happy and I deserve happiness.
2. Print this out and put it in places where you will read it often for example stick it on the mirror you get changed in front of, on the fridge, on the toilet door.
3. When you catch yourself being negative, say those three things to yourself five times until the negative dialogue disappears.
4. Do this every time you hear your self put you down until you no longer talk to yourself in a negative way.
Simple daily exercises can change the way you think. When you are being positive you force your perception of the world and your internal beliefs to be positive.
Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good
Self criticism is one of the worst forms of criticism there is. Who else is better at telling you how, fat, and ugly, stupid or incapable you are then YOU? Self criticism is something that lowers our self esteem by confirming beliefs that we hold within our subconscious minds. So how does it work? And how easy is it to change our thoughts patterns so that we can hold positive and encouraging dialogue with ourselves and ultimately change our beliefs? This article aims to answer these questions.
What is self criticism?
Self criticism is the negative internal dialogue that you hold with yourself within your mind. It is the voice that is constantly judging, comparing, abusing and being negative.
How does it work?
Each of us holds a personal belief system which is made up of our values and laws that we use to bounce ideas off to make personal decisions. It is the responsibility of our subconscious mind to communicate with our conscious mind to decide on our behavior, thoughts and feelings.
When you believe something, your mind will actively search out information to support you, even when this belief is negative. This is done by your sub-conscious asking the conscious mind to ‘keep a look out’ for things that will determine the belief as true.
When these belief systems are negative, such as ‘I am fat and unlovable’ our minds become biased and begin to interpret neutral information into supporting evidence. The more information we find to support these beliefs the more we reassure ourselves that we are right. These negative beliefs are also termed limiting beliefs and are limiting because they are not true. They are simply just beliefs.
Where does it come from?
Self criticism can come from early childhood experiences deriving from issues of abandonment, neglect and abuse. However, it is not necessary to have been through childhood trauma to experience low self esteem and forms of self criticism. Some people are naturally harder on themselves such as high achievers and ‘Type A Personalities’. “Type A individuals can be described as impatient, excessively time-conscious, insecure about their status, highly competitive, hostile and aggressive, and incapable of relaxation” (en.wikipedia.org).
Who can change it?
Fortunately, the power of change to your life lives within your own hands. You have every tool you need to change your life. All you need is an open and willing mind and a bit of time and energy for dedication.
How do we change it?
The key is awareness. A lot of people get stuck in old habits and are totally unaware they are doing the things they do. If you can become aware of when you are verbally beating yourself up you can actively make the choice to stop.
Instead of saying ‘you’re fat and ugly’ try saying ‘you look nice today’. Even if you don’t believe it, your mind will begin to change. Every time it hears something nice about itself, it goes out to support the statement and eventually starts to build a series of self-evidence.
Think of your mind as a friend. You wouldn’t let your best friend judge and abuse you so don’t treat yourself in this way.
Have the relationship with yourself that you would like to have with others, kind, compassionate, considerate and understanding.
A simple Exercise
1. Start be writing down three things you would like to believe about yourself for example I am worthy of true love, I am a beautiful and creative person, I am happy and I deserve happiness.
2. Print this out and put it in places where you will read it often for example stick it on the mirror you get changed in front of, on the fridge, on the toilet door.
3. When you catch yourself being negative, say those three things to yourself five times until the negative dialogue disappears.
4. Do this every time you hear your self put you down until you no longer talk to yourself in a negative way.
Simple daily exercises can change the way you think. When you are being positive you force your perception of the world and your internal beliefs to be positive.
Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good
Monday, November 23, 2009
Silence your Inner Critic
"We are what we think about all day long." Ralph Waldo Emerson. That is the simplest definition of self-esteem. We have an inner voice that speaks to us consciously and unconsciously all the time. When our inner voice becomes and stays critical, it drags us down until we cannot have adequate love or esteem for ourselves.
"Love is the power which produces love." Erich Fromm. We must love ourselves to be able to love others. We all have to deal with our inner critical voice at some time or another. Here are some excellent ways to bring more love into your life by stopping your inner critic from getting in the way.
Stopping Your Inner Critic
Everyone has an inner critic. Our self-esteem and self image are developed by how we talk to ourselves. All of us have conscious and unconscious memories of all the times we felt bad or wrong – they are part of the unavoidable scars of childhood. This is where the inner critical voice gets started. We also have an inner voice that has our best interest at heart. Listen to the good inner voice. How we respond to our good inner voice determines how we feel. When we don’t listen we feel bad. When we follow its lead with faith that it is guiding us towards what is best for us, we feel good.
How do you stop your inner critic?
Before you can disarm the critic, you have to know him. Secrecy is his greatest strength. So if you can get really good at hearing and identifying his voice, you will have won a major victory. Remember that every time the critic attacks he is doing you real psychological harm. He is further wounding your sense of worth and making it harder to feel competent and happy in the world. You can’t afford what he is doing to you. It’s costing you too much.
Analyze your critical thoughts. As you analyze your critical thoughts, determine what they help you feel or help you avoid feeling; you’ll begin to see a pattern to the attacks. One person may find his critic's primary function is to help him atone for guilt. Someone else may experience a critic whose main effort is to provide achievement motivation. Another person’s critic may help desensitize her to the fear of rejection. Or a critic may harangue you to stay on the straight and narrow path. When you become aware of the theme or themes your critic uses, you are ready to fight back.
Some of the times to catch your inner critic are: when you are feeling depressed or down on yourself, meeting strangers, contact with people you find sexually attractive, situations in which you have made a mistake, situations in which you feel criticized and defensive, situations in which you feel hurt or someone has been angry at you, and conversations with parents or anyone who might be disapproving.
Disarming the critic involves three steps: (1) unmasking his purpose, (2) talking back, and (3) making him useless.
There are few things more effective for winning arguments than to suddenly unmask your opponent’s ulterior motives. A classic example is tobacco company "research" that finds no link between cigarette smoking and heart disease. Since the ulterior motives of the tobacco industry are clear, few people take their arguments seriously. Getting clear about the critic’s function makes everything he says less believable. You know his ulterior motive. No matter how he rants and raves, you’ve exposed his secret agenda and therefore feel less vulnerable to him. Remember that the critic attacks you because his voice is in some way being reinforced. When you are able to identify the role your critic plays in your psychological life, when you are able to call his game, you are beginning to seriously undermine the credibility of his message.
People with very low self-esteem have a more vicious and demoralizing inner critic. Low self-esteem robs you of your confidence. You no longer trust your ability to cope or make decisions. Risks stop being challenging; they’re scary. Since you can’t live up to your own critical voice, you’re also often critical of others. There are several things you can do to diminish your negative inner critic. Research indicates that to change behavior, it is more effective to stop telling yourself negative things than to just tell yourself positive things. It’s not so much the power of positive thinking as it is the power of non-negative thinking. So how do you stop telling yourself negative things? Read and try the following:
1.Hear your inner critic. Catch him in the act. You can’t change anything you don’t know is there. If you’re not paying attention to it, you’re actually reinforcing it. Once you hear your inner critic and know your vulnerable times you can then learn how to "turn off" and disarm it..
2. Talk back and get angry at the inner critic: Here are some examples of how to talk back:
This is poison. Stop it!
These are lies.
These are lies my father told me.
No more put-downs.
Shut up!
Get off my back!
Stop this garbage!
Note: Choose a short statement that helps you feel angry. It’s good to get mad. (use profanity if you feel like it) Mentally scream at the critic so that you can drown him out with your anger and indignation.
3. Try thought stoppage: Tell the critic to stop. Stop ruminating. Get up, move, get a drink of water.
4. Use attention shift: Look outside. Look at people around you. Look at any object nearby and study it intently. Turn worry over to higher power
5. Then tidy up: Put the worry in a shoe box on the top shelf of the closet in your mind and pack it away. Schedule time to worry. Write worries down and schedule time to think them over. When repetitive thoughts occur again say STOP I’ll worry about this at (name a specific time.)
6. Now ask the price: What price have I paid to listen to the critical voice? Make a list of the ways the critic has hurt you in relationships, work and self-esteem. The price may be external or internal.
Now you must replace the inner critic with your positive voice. Use a self compliment or a pre-selected affirmation. Counter the negative talk with positive. Have a routine where you regularly work to boost your self confidence. Carry the affirmations with you in a notebook, journal or on index cards. Take time to review them, particularly when self-doubt is hammering away at you.
Just do it, as the Nike slogan exclaims. I often find the best way to overcome my inner critic is having to do something. My determination overcomes my self-doubts.
If none of the above works for you try putting a rubber band around your wrist and snap it each time your inner critic speaks. Mentally scream "Stop it!" while snapping the rubber band. The sharp stinging sensation breaks the chain of negative thoughts and acts as a punisher so that the critic is less likely to attack in the near future. The important thing is to catch the critic just as he starts. It takes about 21 days to change a habit. Be consistent with this behavior and you will have more love in your life starting with yourself.
There is no quick fix for silencing the inner voice. However, if you determine to take the step to overcome the doubts, that voice can become a faint whisper or silent altogether.
Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good
"Love is the power which produces love." Erich Fromm. We must love ourselves to be able to love others. We all have to deal with our inner critical voice at some time or another. Here are some excellent ways to bring more love into your life by stopping your inner critic from getting in the way.
Stopping Your Inner Critic
Everyone has an inner critic. Our self-esteem and self image are developed by how we talk to ourselves. All of us have conscious and unconscious memories of all the times we felt bad or wrong – they are part of the unavoidable scars of childhood. This is where the inner critical voice gets started. We also have an inner voice that has our best interest at heart. Listen to the good inner voice. How we respond to our good inner voice determines how we feel. When we don’t listen we feel bad. When we follow its lead with faith that it is guiding us towards what is best for us, we feel good.
How do you stop your inner critic?
Before you can disarm the critic, you have to know him. Secrecy is his greatest strength. So if you can get really good at hearing and identifying his voice, you will have won a major victory. Remember that every time the critic attacks he is doing you real psychological harm. He is further wounding your sense of worth and making it harder to feel competent and happy in the world. You can’t afford what he is doing to you. It’s costing you too much.
Analyze your critical thoughts. As you analyze your critical thoughts, determine what they help you feel or help you avoid feeling; you’ll begin to see a pattern to the attacks. One person may find his critic's primary function is to help him atone for guilt. Someone else may experience a critic whose main effort is to provide achievement motivation. Another person’s critic may help desensitize her to the fear of rejection. Or a critic may harangue you to stay on the straight and narrow path. When you become aware of the theme or themes your critic uses, you are ready to fight back.
Some of the times to catch your inner critic are: when you are feeling depressed or down on yourself, meeting strangers, contact with people you find sexually attractive, situations in which you have made a mistake, situations in which you feel criticized and defensive, situations in which you feel hurt or someone has been angry at you, and conversations with parents or anyone who might be disapproving.
Disarming the critic involves three steps: (1) unmasking his purpose, (2) talking back, and (3) making him useless.
There are few things more effective for winning arguments than to suddenly unmask your opponent’s ulterior motives. A classic example is tobacco company "research" that finds no link between cigarette smoking and heart disease. Since the ulterior motives of the tobacco industry are clear, few people take their arguments seriously. Getting clear about the critic’s function makes everything he says less believable. You know his ulterior motive. No matter how he rants and raves, you’ve exposed his secret agenda and therefore feel less vulnerable to him. Remember that the critic attacks you because his voice is in some way being reinforced. When you are able to identify the role your critic plays in your psychological life, when you are able to call his game, you are beginning to seriously undermine the credibility of his message.
People with very low self-esteem have a more vicious and demoralizing inner critic. Low self-esteem robs you of your confidence. You no longer trust your ability to cope or make decisions. Risks stop being challenging; they’re scary. Since you can’t live up to your own critical voice, you’re also often critical of others. There are several things you can do to diminish your negative inner critic. Research indicates that to change behavior, it is more effective to stop telling yourself negative things than to just tell yourself positive things. It’s not so much the power of positive thinking as it is the power of non-negative thinking. So how do you stop telling yourself negative things? Read and try the following:
1.Hear your inner critic. Catch him in the act. You can’t change anything you don’t know is there. If you’re not paying attention to it, you’re actually reinforcing it. Once you hear your inner critic and know your vulnerable times you can then learn how to "turn off" and disarm it..
2. Talk back and get angry at the inner critic: Here are some examples of how to talk back:
This is poison. Stop it!
These are lies.
These are lies my father told me.
No more put-downs.
Shut up!
Get off my back!
Stop this garbage!
Note: Choose a short statement that helps you feel angry. It’s good to get mad. (use profanity if you feel like it) Mentally scream at the critic so that you can drown him out with your anger and indignation.
3. Try thought stoppage: Tell the critic to stop. Stop ruminating. Get up, move, get a drink of water.
4. Use attention shift: Look outside. Look at people around you. Look at any object nearby and study it intently. Turn worry over to higher power
5. Then tidy up: Put the worry in a shoe box on the top shelf of the closet in your mind and pack it away. Schedule time to worry. Write worries down and schedule time to think them over. When repetitive thoughts occur again say STOP I’ll worry about this at (name a specific time.)
6. Now ask the price: What price have I paid to listen to the critical voice? Make a list of the ways the critic has hurt you in relationships, work and self-esteem. The price may be external or internal.
Now you must replace the inner critic with your positive voice. Use a self compliment or a pre-selected affirmation. Counter the negative talk with positive. Have a routine where you regularly work to boost your self confidence. Carry the affirmations with you in a notebook, journal or on index cards. Take time to review them, particularly when self-doubt is hammering away at you.
Just do it, as the Nike slogan exclaims. I often find the best way to overcome my inner critic is having to do something. My determination overcomes my self-doubts.
If none of the above works for you try putting a rubber band around your wrist and snap it each time your inner critic speaks. Mentally scream "Stop it!" while snapping the rubber band. The sharp stinging sensation breaks the chain of negative thoughts and acts as a punisher so that the critic is less likely to attack in the near future. The important thing is to catch the critic just as he starts. It takes about 21 days to change a habit. Be consistent with this behavior and you will have more love in your life starting with yourself.
There is no quick fix for silencing the inner voice. However, if you determine to take the step to overcome the doubts, that voice can become a faint whisper or silent altogether.
Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Expressing Gratitude
Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good
"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." Albert Schweitzer
Whatever life holds for us, we are indebted.
For life, for enjoyment, for happiness, peace, for well being.
For everything that we have, are and are going to be.
It is a privilege to be alive.
To be able to live and enjoy and give.
From the time of birth, we are in debt to a million influences.
To our miraculous physical creation – a million chemical reactions, transformations and creative forces.
To the people who fed us from the bottle, changed our diapers, cuddled us and gave us the physical touch that we needed, clothed us when we couldn't have done so ourselves …
We could have perished otherwise….
Clean water.
Fresh air.
Warm clothes and cuddly blankets.
Clean hygienic surroundings.
Roof over our heads.
Those who have touched and supported us mentally emotionally when we did not know any better.
No doubt, some experiences may have left emotional and physical scars- but for the most part there was some good.
The fact that we exist in this universe- makes us indebted to the creator who gave us life
Gratitude for not only the good things in our life, but also the problems, our mistakes.
And when we realize there is a loving source behind everything, we can be grateful.
Also for our surroundings, the wonder and beauty of nature that is immaculate.
When we feel gratitude, and acknowledge the source, we allow ourselves to feel joy and peace. We feel complete. The circle is complete. We have been given, we receive and we appreciate in gratitude.
Even the poorest of the poor can be rich if they have gratitude.
For the breath the breathe, the life they have, the little comfort they enjoy.
The little that the poor have is better than a feast at the rich with no gratitude or happiness.
Gratitude is wealth. Gratitude is joy.
Gratitude brings out the best in others and in us.
Gratitude releases the negative and brings in the positive.
We cannot be grateful without forgiving another.
We cannot be grateful and hold grudges and thoughts of retribution or revenge.
If someone has caused us to suffer loss or damaged us or our possessions to some degree and to this day cannot repay, should we be grateful?
Before we can experience gratitude in the face of wrong, we have to experience forgiveness. Of the event, the perpetuator, and of ourselves. Then we can go on and be grateful.
"When we harbor negative emotions toward others or toward ourselves, or when we intentionally create pain for others, we poison our own physical and spiritual systems….The challenge .. is to refine our capacity to love others as well as ourselves and to develop the power of forgiveness. Carolyn Myss, Anatomy of the Spirit
Underlying all this is belief.
Belief that all exists for our good.
Even if something terrible has happened.
Joni Eareckson was able to express gratitude in the face of the most devastating event that can happen – an accident that caused the loss of use of both arms and legs, leaving her totally dependent on another for her most basic needs. In gratitude she has written books on her life after the tragedy carried on living again.
Zig Ziglar expressed gratitude even in his darkest days of grieving when his daughter Susan passed away. In gratitude for the memories that she was able to give when she was alive. And in gratitude to God who has a plan for his life. He was able to carry on living through the pain, and embrace life again.
Gratitude is not an extraneous emotion that can be done with.
It is essential to our well being physically emotionally mentally and spiritually
It is the cornerstone of peace joy and connection to the source of all love and peace,
In gratitude we communicate with our creator.
For all that there is, that was and that will be.
Our creator has created us in love.
We reciprocate this in love and gratitude.
It is expressed in the love we give to ourselves.
It is expressed in the quality of our work, the depth of our experiences.
It is expressed in our relationships- the love we give to our fellow men because of the love which has been given to us.
If we can be grasp this fact, that we are expressing gratitude not only to the people who helped us, but knowing that behind it all, the orchestrating of all events is a wonderful and loving creator, we can continue to have the ability to be grateful.
In the face of whatever happens, there will be gratitude.
There is always something to be grateful for.
Whatever circumstance we are in, food will taste better, colors will look brighter, scents will smell better, water will taste sweeter, burdens will be lighter.
And if we focus on this, the thought and gratitude expands and it will attract more blessings and abundance.
This is the essence of the Law of attraction at work.
In acknowledgment of and together with a higher creative force for good.
"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." Albert Schweitzer
Whatever life holds for us, we are indebted.
For life, for enjoyment, for happiness, peace, for well being.
For everything that we have, are and are going to be.
It is a privilege to be alive.
To be able to live and enjoy and give.
From the time of birth, we are in debt to a million influences.
To our miraculous physical creation – a million chemical reactions, transformations and creative forces.
To the people who fed us from the bottle, changed our diapers, cuddled us and gave us the physical touch that we needed, clothed us when we couldn't have done so ourselves …
We could have perished otherwise….
Clean water.
Fresh air.
Warm clothes and cuddly blankets.
Clean hygienic surroundings.
Roof over our heads.
Those who have touched and supported us mentally emotionally when we did not know any better.
No doubt, some experiences may have left emotional and physical scars- but for the most part there was some good.
The fact that we exist in this universe- makes us indebted to the creator who gave us life
Gratitude for not only the good things in our life, but also the problems, our mistakes.
And when we realize there is a loving source behind everything, we can be grateful.
Also for our surroundings, the wonder and beauty of nature that is immaculate.
When we feel gratitude, and acknowledge the source, we allow ourselves to feel joy and peace. We feel complete. The circle is complete. We have been given, we receive and we appreciate in gratitude.
Even the poorest of the poor can be rich if they have gratitude.
For the breath the breathe, the life they have, the little comfort they enjoy.
The little that the poor have is better than a feast at the rich with no gratitude or happiness.
Gratitude is wealth. Gratitude is joy.
Gratitude brings out the best in others and in us.
Gratitude releases the negative and brings in the positive.
We cannot be grateful without forgiving another.
We cannot be grateful and hold grudges and thoughts of retribution or revenge.
If someone has caused us to suffer loss or damaged us or our possessions to some degree and to this day cannot repay, should we be grateful?
Before we can experience gratitude in the face of wrong, we have to experience forgiveness. Of the event, the perpetuator, and of ourselves. Then we can go on and be grateful.
"When we harbor negative emotions toward others or toward ourselves, or when we intentionally create pain for others, we poison our own physical and spiritual systems….The challenge .. is to refine our capacity to love others as well as ourselves and to develop the power of forgiveness. Carolyn Myss, Anatomy of the Spirit
Underlying all this is belief.
Belief that all exists for our good.
Even if something terrible has happened.
Joni Eareckson was able to express gratitude in the face of the most devastating event that can happen – an accident that caused the loss of use of both arms and legs, leaving her totally dependent on another for her most basic needs. In gratitude she has written books on her life after the tragedy carried on living again.
Zig Ziglar expressed gratitude even in his darkest days of grieving when his daughter Susan passed away. In gratitude for the memories that she was able to give when she was alive. And in gratitude to God who has a plan for his life. He was able to carry on living through the pain, and embrace life again.
Gratitude is not an extraneous emotion that can be done with.
It is essential to our well being physically emotionally mentally and spiritually
It is the cornerstone of peace joy and connection to the source of all love and peace,
In gratitude we communicate with our creator.
For all that there is, that was and that will be.
Our creator has created us in love.
We reciprocate this in love and gratitude.
It is expressed in the love we give to ourselves.
It is expressed in the quality of our work, the depth of our experiences.
It is expressed in our relationships- the love we give to our fellow men because of the love which has been given to us.
If we can be grasp this fact, that we are expressing gratitude not only to the people who helped us, but knowing that behind it all, the orchestrating of all events is a wonderful and loving creator, we can continue to have the ability to be grateful.
In the face of whatever happens, there will be gratitude.
There is always something to be grateful for.
Whatever circumstance we are in, food will taste better, colors will look brighter, scents will smell better, water will taste sweeter, burdens will be lighter.
And if we focus on this, the thought and gratitude expands and it will attract more blessings and abundance.
This is the essence of the Law of attraction at work.
In acknowledgment of and together with a higher creative force for good.
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