Showing posts with label opportunities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label opportunities. Show all posts
Friday, October 19, 2012
WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES IN LIFE, ANOTHER DOOR WILL OPEN
Helen Keller the famous American writer once said, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.”
This quote could not be more true in my life, and I’m sure many others. As I’ve had time to reflect upon my life these past days, I’m happy to see where I’ve been, yet I am more happy to see where I am going. In the past, I used to always focus on what didn’t happen in my life, what should have been, or what could have been, thus leaving me discouraged. A lot of us, like me before, put so much of our focus everyday on pass failures. It could be failures in our relationships, our decisions, our career choices, or mistakes we have made which are we are not able to fix. Even though we know that we can’t change the past, we still dwell on it, letting it plague us like a virus that never leaves our mind and emotions. But, if we always focus on the past doors that have closed, we will become blind to the open doors and opportunities that may come our way.
In the past, I used to get so down on myself about every thing that didn’t go my way. I would ask God why? I would throw fits and rages when life didn’t turn out the way I thought it should have. Or, I would become depressed and go into bouts of self-pity, self-rejection and self-hatred. Being an over achiever I would become extremely critical of myself if I felt like I was the cause of my failures. Yet, now that I am older and I can look back at a lot of my earlier mistakes as a young adolescent, I can see how every mistake, every disappointment and failure has led me to become a better man.
With time we become wiser. With time we learn to learn from our mistakes. With time we can see things in retrospect and appreciate every experience, good or bad, for what it is. With time, we can begin to appreciate ourselves. With time we realize there is no use holding on to old remorse’s and thoughts of “I wish I could have, or would have, done things this way or that way.” Instead, we can make the choice now to not repeat our past failures, recognize we are not the same person, and be open to change. We have to let go of what we can’t control and stop focusing on the past closed doors. If we do this, we can become aware of the present blessings in our lives that we may have been missing all along and walk through a new door of happiness.
Until we let go of the old thing we are holding onto, we cannot be hands free to receive the new thing God desires to bless us with. MOVE ON! I felt like I had to say that loud and clear to whoever is reading this column… MOVE ON from the past and into the new. Don’t let your past mistakes, regrets or disappointments hold you back from experiencing the fullness of life and all the goodness it can bring! I’m excited about my future, I feel like I’m maturing as a man and I know that what is in store for me in the coming days can only be even better than what I have experienced before. Not because the past was bad, but because right now I am wiser, more ready and in touch with whom I really am to receive God’s very best! Unless, we choose to move forward from past closed doors, we won’t know what is on the other side of the new doors that await us. I’m nervous, a bit afraid, but full of faith and heart wide open to experience the new, so should you!
God bless,
James Boehm
Friday, August 3, 2012
Killer Prospecting
What I want everyone to do right now is to think back to the day you taught your child to ride their bike? Or the day your parents taught you…
Did you or your parents engage in the art of selling on that day? Of course, and do you recall the one and only question you had? There was only thing that had to be proven? CAN I DO IT.
I realize that life is still in the way, and for some of you and that I’m asking you to plow through less than ideal circumstances in order to begin implementing these skills, I’m asking you to understand that peace comes from success, and success comes from action, based on strength, conviction or belief, and skill.
Everything you’ve learned since you began working online were in preparation of you beginning the process of writing your story, the story of your success, and in order to break through, you must first break down, most people are victims of self doubt, self imposed fears, negativity, and in order to succeed you have to get this garbage out of the way first. We have heard many people say fake it till you make it, and what this translates to is lie until you create your story, but before you do that ask yourself this question Do I have to have a story BEFORE I build my business, or activity? The answer is nope, all you have to have is a true heart.
One other thing before we get started, My partner and my testimonials aren’t worth salt, people will see our history in the industry and immediately begin to segregate us based on experience and successes , people will simply disregard their potential and say well, that’s them, and create the exception rather than the rule. But Your testimonials are gold, pay dirt, worth more than anything I could ever say or do, but you aren’t going to fake it till you make it, we are going to create your testimonials based on results.
Effective prospecting is not one simple approach to selling, it is a very complex program, and one must understand the psychology of prospecting to do it effectively.
I never ever stress about when I’m going to begin, stories of other people enrolling 1 or 5 or 10 don’t phase me at all, they make me smile, I’m always glad to see other people experiencing success, but in truth, I know I convert qualified prospects at 90 plus percent, and I know why, because I know how. And I will teach you how also.
These lessons have been consolidated into a three part series when I delivered this training before it was a 10 part series, within these lessons I will validate one primary thing , and that is that you have to find success. The things I’m going to share with you will most likely not be like anything anyone ever told you before, I always say whatever I deliver is take it or leave it information, keep what feels right to you, this time I’m going to ask you to trust me, trust what I say, and why I say it. I’m going to ask you to ask me any question you like, whether it be based on an idea you have to get you where you need to be, a fear that you think may be holding your back, whatever fear you may have because for the hour or so we are specifically addressing psychological barriers to prospecting success.
So you’re learning to ride a bike, and your parents are engaging in the art of selling, you only have one question, the most important question, CAN I DO IT. Write that down, with a question mark, can I do it? Never ever forget that question.
Do you recall what trickery your parents used that day? One minute their running along behind the seat, holding on, and your peddling away as fast as you can because why? I mean you don’t know if you can do it, even if they have spent hours coaxing you, hours telling you, you can do it, you still don’t know because you never agreed that you could, they never proved that you could but you trusted them, and what did they do? They let go…they proved to you that you could do it…and you rode…Can I do it, and the answer is yes you can, can we do it, yes we can, does that sound familiar, of course it does the President of the united states, as a Candidate engaged in the art of selling. The very first time I saw the sign, that said “Yes we can” I knew it was the winning line, because I had employed the exact same tactic for years and it worked 90 plus percent of the time…
CAN I DO IT…
The very first thing you have to learn about effective prospecting is you have only one thing to sell, forget, about the product, forget about the website, forget about the presentation, but never forget your prospect has only one question, there is only one thing you must accomplish in this call, and that is you must answer that question, which is by the way, the one question every prospect has, and the one question none of them will ever ask, it is an unspoken law, answer the question, get the sale. Your success lies in the answer,
Can you know too much? So many people do not actively engage in prospecting, because they believe they won’t do it right, or they don’t know enough, remember this, the more you know, the less you win.
Let me tell you why, isn’t it amazing that the one thing that has been holding you back, is the one thing that will cost you the sale.
When prospecting, from the first syllable to the last, you are being heard, your prospect is listening to what you say, and more importantly how you say it ( which we will cover in another lesson) , but all the while they have the one question, can I do it? If you go way out in left field comp plan, matrixes etc , you will begin to lose the sale, will you sound like an expert, of course but you begin to create distance between yourself and your prospect, because you are answering the question, and you seem to know so much, your prospect is beginning to doubt whether or not they could ever know that much, they are thinking about all they have to learn, all they have to do, you are saying things they don’t understand, and they are checking the list, matrix? I don’t know what a matrix is, what does that mean? You are answering the question can I do it, with too much knowledge.
Remember the answer to both questions is always the same,
If the answer to the question can I do it? Is no then the answer to will you join my business or activity is also no.
If the answer to the question can I do it is yes, then the answer to will you join my business or activity is also yes.
We will of course never ask anyone to join our business, or participate in our activity never ever, we don’t ask that question, and I’ll share more on the reason why too.
We’ve been talking about the one question every prospect has, the one that they never ask, yet you are required to answer in order to get the sale Every time. And that was “Can I Do It “ and we have learned the answer must always be yes.
You might be thinking perhaps it is as easy as saying “You can do this” or “anyone can do this” and on one hand this is true, but it’s how you say it that counts in the end. We always say it without saying it; it’s less of a pitch and much more effective this way. Remember saying anything doesn’t make it so, it becomes truth through validation that occurs in your prospects mind, you don’t sell anyone, they have to sell themselves, we are not in the business of selling, we are in the business of presenting, we are information brokers by trade.
We have talked about becoming an expert, and I also said that it is quite possible to oversell or over present your opportunity, and cost yourself a sale by being the expert, so how does the whole thing balance out.
I’m going to explain it like this, becoming an expert on the Industry, which when dealing with a prospect amazingly enough has zero affect on the question they have, because they never make a connection between what you happen to know about the industry and anything that they would be required to learn, they will only ever assess whether or not they can learn specifically about the model, the very thing that you represent, so in a sense there are several things that happen when you become an industry expert, one you validate that you really know what the problem is, which says to your prospect if you know what the problem is, then you must know where the solution lies, and you must realize how to solve it, this is the first positive ping on the mental check list of your prospect. Remember 99% of the people you speak to are NOT first time lookers, and they are very well aware of the challenges, have already evaluated themselves out of network marketing as a result of what they have seen and heard so far, the answer they have gotten to the question can I do it? Is a resounding no! Then in walks the master prospector, it’s important to note one thing here, master prospecting skills are never ever about how many people you recruit, never, because anyone can plow through the numbers, it is about conversion only, how many you enroll per number of conversations, anything less than 1 in 5 which is one enrollment per 5 conversations should send you back to prospecting school. That should be the goal, does it mean you start out that way? Absolutely not, but it does mean that you are learning as you go, and your conversions per conversation should be getting higher and higher, it could be 1 in 20, one enrollment per 20 conversations starting out, you should then be striving for 1 in 10, but enrolling 25 in 400 conversations would be a total bust, it’s always about conversion, as long as you are monitoring conversion you are constantly honing your skills. Now on to becoming an expert
Example: Well Mary you know statistically 98% of the people that enter into a home based business opportunity fail, (do not fear saying this you are actually validating yourself and your activity or company, and I guarantee your prospect already knows this.) That’s why when I saw the perfect gift plan model I was so impressed, Mary knowing how challenging it is for the average person to ever make any decent money on the Internet I immediately saw an opportunity where anyone could succeed, this would be a great time to talk about how easy it is. You will also want to add as an expert that most all network marketing companies will require you to enroll or sponsor 100’s and 100’s of people to ever make any good income, problem 2, master prospector solution, all we will ever ask you to do Mary is sponsor two people. Just two participants, people like yourself that you know could use more cash in their lives not only that but we are a group of individuals who truly care about others, and for us it’s not all about the money it’s about having a plan that will actually help people without the challenges, we have a plan that solves the industry problem, and changes the statistics, it’s not only possible for people to receive in abundance, it’s probable, I guess I have to say Mary that is the number one thing that attracted me to this activity. People are looking for a plan that will work for them, without having to conquer the learning curve that most opportunities would require before you can succeed, with our plan you could be receiving cash today
Now in the course of this short example we have covered three problem areas in the industry, and we did it ethically intact without naming names, or being less than professional, we did it from the position of industry expert, without making the prospect feel as though they could never do what you just did.
Now let me tell you what just happened in a 30 second conversation, In this example we would be very near accomplishing everything that we need in order to close this sale, these are the things that occurred,
1)We showed compassion towards people
2)We edified our activity
3)We proved we knew what was wrong in our industry
4)We solidified our commitment to change that
5)We removed all doubt that this is like all the rest
6)We sold its simplicity all you need is two
7)We sold our mission to help others
8)We showed them it was possible to get what they came for which is money…today
9)We were experts without intimidating our prospect
10)And most importantly we are well on our way to answering Mary’s one and only question. Can I Do It?
The next step is going to be covering the plan, and how it works or helping Mary understand that she can get what she needs here, and you don’t have to break it down, the website and the Movie can do that for you.
The one other thing we didn’t do is cover the cost or out of pocket, remember guys we are working with psychology here, after all of that, we need to give our prospect time to start assessing the possible costs…
Ideally the meter is running and they are thinking, if you presented correctly Mary will be thinking that it has to be 400.00 500.00 maybe more, based on what she’s heard from others while researching home based business.
In the example above we presented, any prospect who feels they are being sold, will resist mainly because they don’t want to sell, if you sell, they feel like they have to, remember they are listening, they are qualifying themselves every step of the way (can I do what he/she is doing). We have one job, and that is to present them with information, in the example we did it eloquently professionally without threat, or discomfort, we simply provided the information they needed to answer the only question they have. Your Job is to present, your goal to answer the question. Never sell anything, you have nothing to sell.
In the first half of our training we discussed that can I do it, is the one question you must answer in every conversation about your business. We also talked about becoming the expert, and NOT over selling your opportunity or activity, making sure that everything you do throughout your presentation comes across as something your prospect can see themselves doing, presenting with simplicity.
I am trying to deliver this information in order of importance, and in this last part we’re going to discuss “planning your work day” which you could call “achieving balance” or creating a structured work environment.
So why is this so important, it’s important because becoming disciplined and organized are key to your success. You cannot allow your business to run you, you must run your business.
The key to achieving all of these things is in the way you schedule your day. It’s going to be impossible for me to schedule it for you, since I don’t know what you can do when. All I can do is lay out a perfectly structured day as an example, and then hope that you guys can follow suit around your own circumstances.
So the first step to structuring your days would be to determine what you have to do as part of your daily ritual, and what time you typically do this. Example: If your kids get on the Bus at 7:30 then that is not part of your work structure.
We always build our business around life, NOT the othe5r way around, the other way will not work, you will never find balance, and a lot of bad things can occur if you try to build your life around business.
So ask yourself this question “When can I work”? This is the first thing you need to know, then block out the hours when you are taking care of life. Unless you have a fairly regular schedule you may want to create your schedule weekly, but once you make your work schedule stick to it, this is where discipline comes in. If you know you need to mow the lawn Tuesday morning, then obviously Tuesday morning gets blocked out.
This is so important because you need to be able to function without the stress of unfinished tasks, and without the guilt that can come from neglecting certain aspects of your life, you have to be free to work. This does not mean that you are going to work one hour a week, because if you do it simply won’t produce the results you are looking for, however one hour a week can be reserved for a certain task in relation to work.
Remember, what we talked about last week, your job is to present, you are an information broker, so this is essentially a process that you go through routinely, and you should do it repetitiously, do the same thing over and over again. With minor variations based on the differences that may be found from one prospect to another, other than that what you do is always the same, this way you get better and better at your game.
Get organized, I cannot stress this enough, if you don’t have a day planner, get one, it’s your prospecting bible. In my case, my day goes like this, I start work at 9:00 AM, and I begin by looking at my planner, which is actually an appointment book, this works best for me.
My Prospecting days are scheduled like this, from 9:00 to 12:00 I am making first calls, whether or not they are leads, people who have visited my website or whatever the case may be, first calls are made from 9:00-Noon. At noon, I have some lunch. Then from roughly 12:30 to 2:00 this is admin time, during these hours, I send emails to anyone that I spoke to that would possibly recap what we talked about and include an invitation to attend a call, I mainly have prospecting days on call days, and should you choose you could very well prospect all day on call days and reserve the following day for follow up.
On prospecting day you are making calls in the morning, I use Melissa Data to verify time zone so that I don’t call anyone at 7:00 in the morning, and try to call everyone after 9:00-9:30 AM, and never after 5:30-6:00 at night unless they ask me to.
So I make my calls, present, and let them know I will be sending them an email in the next few hours which contains the information they need to attend an overview call, remember I’m not selling, I’m brokering information, and these calls are part of that process. At this time I’m going to schedule a follow up call, typically I say “Mary after you have had a chance to attend the over view call I’d like to call you back so that I can answer any questions you might have, If it’s Tuesday then I want to call her back no later than Wednesday, some will instruct you to call them back immediately after the call, and this can work if your goal is to emotionally sell them, rather than have them join you from a place of intelligence, remember we want to enroll fewer people who create a stronger foundation rather than a lot who will buy emotionally and quit as a result of buyers remorse, so give them a day to think things through, in our case we have nothing to hide, and should not fear allowing them time to further their due diligence process, now if your prospect is going to visit the scam boards and find a bunch of garbage about your business, then we will address that later on, either by becoming an experts on why it is people post those items, and helping our prospects understand that scam, boards are nothing more than marketing platforms, and there is little or no value to them in making a sound business decision, because everyone posting is a network marketer. Or we will close them more quickly, but we’ll talk about those things another day. “ so Mary What time Wednesday afternoon is best for you? Say it like this because Mary wants all the time she can get before you ask her for money or she has to make a decision, so if you say what is a good day, she will likely say anytime next week, which will never work, because you have to spend your whole call reminding her who you are and why you are calling and so on. Write your appointment in your book. Wednesday after you have made Wednesday calls you know who you have to follow up with and what time they want you to call. Be on time the first time, it’s ok to tell Bob that you really need to run because you have another appointment in order to stay on schedule.
There is one other thing that I do, I use a contact sheet which is nothing more than a document that I print out, that has my prospects name email and phone, and a place for notes, when I hang up every call, or finish every conversation I write down anything important that my prospect told me, for instance why they need a home based business, what they do now, etc. This way when I call her back I remember or appear to remember what we talked about which scores big with your prospects, lets them know they matter. Then I slide the sheets into the planner, and before I dial the number I go back over notes of what they said, this way it is comfortable and is simply a continuation of the previous call.
However it is that you choose to organize and structure your business would be up to you, and would depend on your daily schedule, but just make sure you do it, and it’s structured so that you are not bouncing all over the place, when you are prospecting, that is all you are doing, when you follow up, that is all you are doing, and when you are closing THAT is all you are doing, you will hone your skills, and get better and better by taking this approach and it will also help you to eliminate any discomfort you may have. My partner sometimes says I am a Recruiting Machine, and it’s not that so much as the fact no one gets away, I use a flawless prospecting system that is driven by organization, it’s all part of a process and I never lose track of where I am in the process with any one prospect, I can lay my hands on the place I left off in a matter of seconds, so if my phone rings and Mary says “ Lori this is Mary Smith we spoke yesterday and last night I went to the call, by the time she introduces herself and tries to remind me, I am prepared to ease her discomfort by acknowledging that not only do I remember her, but I recall all of the details, again, you big score when you can do this. So the third most important thing in the process of becoming a master prospector is get organized, develop your system, and use it.
Here's the real truth behind the success of every top income earner in the industry ....work your tail off!!
Working your tail off means doing all the things everyone else won't do, so you can live the life everyone else doesn't have. It means attending ALL of your company and team opportunity and training calls. Working your tail off means finding out who is making it happen and duplicating exactly what they do. It means doing all the repetitive, boring things that breed success over and over and over again until you make it big.
So, what are the things we SHOULD NOT be doing? The following is a list of items we see so many people doing wrong in this industry. If you want to be successful in network marketing you need to consistently work hard and avoid the following 7 pitfalls:
1. Selling and Presenting Your BusinessWe see so many people in this industry trying to sell and talk people into joining their business. That might work if we wanted them to buy a refrigerator from us. The problem with selling people into your network marketing business is that they are not making a "buying" decision. They are making a working decision. Your job is not to convince people that your business is a great opportunity. Your job is to find those people who are searching for your opportunity and upon finding it will do something about it. In a nutshell, you are looking for the “get it done and then some” kind of people.
Utilize your company and team leader's conference calls & websites to do the selling and presenting for you. In simplest terms, let the tools do 90% of the work. That leaves you free to concentrate on the personal part of network marketing ... cultivating relationships, interviewing and choosing the right people.
Never forget that you are looking for serious, motivated, committed people who are ready to do business right now. If you try to sell people, you will end up spending 99% of your time trying to push the wrong people to do the work. The bottom line is, we are in the lifestyle consulting & development business, not sales.
2. Making Income Claims
How many times have you heard how much money the big "Guru" in a network marketing company is making? That may be very well and good, but what does it have to do with how much you will make or how much your prospect will earn with your company? The answer is absolutely nothing. You, your team members and potential prospects could make more or less than the top earner. So, why do so many networkers make income claims when talking to a potential candidate for their business? The answer goes back to Pitfall #1. They are trying to impress and ultimately sell their prospect into the business.
So, if we shouldn't be making income claims, how do we make sure our prospects have a strong understanding of the income potential of doing business with us? The answer is simple. Instead of telling them how much you or someone else in your company makes, present them with a simple business plan they can understand. For example, if sponsoring 10 who sponsor 10 who sponsor 10, will create a six figure income, then that is your sample business plan. Make sure they understand that once they complete the plan, they will be earning the desired income.
Always put the focus on what THEY need to do to make money, not what someone else has done.
3. Three-Waying Prospects Into Opportunity Calls
It never ceases to amaze us how many network marketers will 3-way a prospect into an opportunity call. Think about it. What message is this sending your prospect? It's simple, desperation. Instead of interviewing and making your prospect qualify for your time, you are again back to Pitfall #1, trying to sell someone on your business. Instead, make the attendance of your conference call a qualifier.
See it as the same way you would conduct a job interview. If you were interviewing a candidate for the board of directors of your business, would you drive to their house, pick them up and bring them back to your office? Of course you wouldn't. Sounds pretty silly when we put it that way, doesn't it? Your network marketing business is no different. You are the CEO of your company. You only have time to work with a few serious, motivated and dedicated individuals. If they won't take 25-30 minutes to learn about your business, then quite frankly, you don't want them.
4. Being Too Enthusiastic
Being excited about your business is a very good thing. However, displaying a bunch of over-the-top excitement during an interview call is going to more than likely turn your prospect off, off, off. If you are too enthusiastic when speaking with them, their first thought will probably be that you're about to pitch them on something. Be confident and excited about what you have to offer, but stay away from words like awesome, incredible, amazing, fantastic, easy, great, "you’re going to love this", etc.
5. Not Disqualifying
As we said earlier, smart people invest their time in the serious, motivated people who see the vision and are ready to do business now. So, how can we be sure we’re disqualifying the people that aren’t right for our business? One of the most important things you can do is make a list of the qualities you’re looking for and post it in sight of the area you make your phone calls at. At any time you feel like your prospect is not right for the business, simply let them know. Say something like, "I appreciate your time, but this doesn't sound like something that's for you right now. Why don't we keep in touch by email and if something changes you can give me a call."
Always leave the ball in their court. It's like a game of tennis. Every time they hit the ball back to you, you do the same. Literally – put the ball back into their court. Make them responsible for their actions so you’re spending your time with the right people. Don’t ever hit the ball over the net twice without getting it back first. If you do, you will just burn yourself out.
6. Not focusing on people’s pain – Not solving problems
Too many networkers focus only on getting a prospect information about their business, without learning anything about what the prospect is looking for and why. When speaking with prospects, ask exploratory questions that reveal their values, goals & desires. Really listen and care about what they have to say. The more you understand your prospect, the better you can assist them in getting what they want. Focus on how your business can be a solution to the challenges they're facing. They are interested in what joining your business can do for them, not how "great" and "incredible" it is.
7. Focusing on Details
There are two types of details we are talking about here. The first is the details of your business when talking with prospects. Don't get into long winded discussions about the background of your company. Stop yourself from going on and on about the evolution of the product line or the details of your marketing system. You, of course, want to answer questions. However, the time and place for that is after your prospect has been on a call and read through your website. Once they've done that, answer their questions in a short but informative way. Don't let yourself get side tracked from the topic or over load them with too much information.
The second type of details we're talking about is the details of planning your work. Want to waste 2 hours? Go into your office for 5 minutes. Leaders focus the bulk of their time on result related activities & delegate out everything else. 90% of your time should be spent on phone calls and training your team members. Organizing your business is considered "busy work" and does not count towards the time you need to put in to be successful.
There’s two important things I can say, if you aren’t willing to work for it, you don’t need it. It’s called working from home for a reason, second if you don’t believe you should leave, because in order to achieve your goals you have to believe 100% in what you are doing or every person you talk to will see right through that, and you couldn’t sponsor anyone if your life depended on it, that is a fact.
James Boehm
Did you or your parents engage in the art of selling on that day? Of course, and do you recall the one and only question you had? There was only thing that had to be proven? CAN I DO IT.
I realize that life is still in the way, and for some of you and that I’m asking you to plow through less than ideal circumstances in order to begin implementing these skills, I’m asking you to understand that peace comes from success, and success comes from action, based on strength, conviction or belief, and skill.
Everything you’ve learned since you began working online were in preparation of you beginning the process of writing your story, the story of your success, and in order to break through, you must first break down, most people are victims of self doubt, self imposed fears, negativity, and in order to succeed you have to get this garbage out of the way first. We have heard many people say fake it till you make it, and what this translates to is lie until you create your story, but before you do that ask yourself this question Do I have to have a story BEFORE I build my business, or activity? The answer is nope, all you have to have is a true heart.
One other thing before we get started, My partner and my testimonials aren’t worth salt, people will see our history in the industry and immediately begin to segregate us based on experience and successes , people will simply disregard their potential and say well, that’s them, and create the exception rather than the rule. But Your testimonials are gold, pay dirt, worth more than anything I could ever say or do, but you aren’t going to fake it till you make it, we are going to create your testimonials based on results.
Effective prospecting is not one simple approach to selling, it is a very complex program, and one must understand the psychology of prospecting to do it effectively.
I never ever stress about when I’m going to begin, stories of other people enrolling 1 or 5 or 10 don’t phase me at all, they make me smile, I’m always glad to see other people experiencing success, but in truth, I know I convert qualified prospects at 90 plus percent, and I know why, because I know how. And I will teach you how also.
These lessons have been consolidated into a three part series when I delivered this training before it was a 10 part series, within these lessons I will validate one primary thing , and that is that you have to find success. The things I’m going to share with you will most likely not be like anything anyone ever told you before, I always say whatever I deliver is take it or leave it information, keep what feels right to you, this time I’m going to ask you to trust me, trust what I say, and why I say it. I’m going to ask you to ask me any question you like, whether it be based on an idea you have to get you where you need to be, a fear that you think may be holding your back, whatever fear you may have because for the hour or so we are specifically addressing psychological barriers to prospecting success.
So you’re learning to ride a bike, and your parents are engaging in the art of selling, you only have one question, the most important question, CAN I DO IT. Write that down, with a question mark, can I do it? Never ever forget that question.
Do you recall what trickery your parents used that day? One minute their running along behind the seat, holding on, and your peddling away as fast as you can because why? I mean you don’t know if you can do it, even if they have spent hours coaxing you, hours telling you, you can do it, you still don’t know because you never agreed that you could, they never proved that you could but you trusted them, and what did they do? They let go…they proved to you that you could do it…and you rode…Can I do it, and the answer is yes you can, can we do it, yes we can, does that sound familiar, of course it does the President of the united states, as a Candidate engaged in the art of selling. The very first time I saw the sign, that said “Yes we can” I knew it was the winning line, because I had employed the exact same tactic for years and it worked 90 plus percent of the time…
CAN I DO IT…
The very first thing you have to learn about effective prospecting is you have only one thing to sell, forget, about the product, forget about the website, forget about the presentation, but never forget your prospect has only one question, there is only one thing you must accomplish in this call, and that is you must answer that question, which is by the way, the one question every prospect has, and the one question none of them will ever ask, it is an unspoken law, answer the question, get the sale. Your success lies in the answer,
Can you know too much? So many people do not actively engage in prospecting, because they believe they won’t do it right, or they don’t know enough, remember this, the more you know, the less you win.
Let me tell you why, isn’t it amazing that the one thing that has been holding you back, is the one thing that will cost you the sale.
When prospecting, from the first syllable to the last, you are being heard, your prospect is listening to what you say, and more importantly how you say it ( which we will cover in another lesson) , but all the while they have the one question, can I do it? If you go way out in left field comp plan, matrixes etc , you will begin to lose the sale, will you sound like an expert, of course but you begin to create distance between yourself and your prospect, because you are answering the question, and you seem to know so much, your prospect is beginning to doubt whether or not they could ever know that much, they are thinking about all they have to learn, all they have to do, you are saying things they don’t understand, and they are checking the list, matrix? I don’t know what a matrix is, what does that mean? You are answering the question can I do it, with too much knowledge.
Remember the answer to both questions is always the same,
If the answer to the question can I do it? Is no then the answer to will you join my business or activity is also no.
If the answer to the question can I do it is yes, then the answer to will you join my business or activity is also yes.
We will of course never ask anyone to join our business, or participate in our activity never ever, we don’t ask that question, and I’ll share more on the reason why too.
We’ve been talking about the one question every prospect has, the one that they never ask, yet you are required to answer in order to get the sale Every time. And that was “Can I Do It “ and we have learned the answer must always be yes.
You might be thinking perhaps it is as easy as saying “You can do this” or “anyone can do this” and on one hand this is true, but it’s how you say it that counts in the end. We always say it without saying it; it’s less of a pitch and much more effective this way. Remember saying anything doesn’t make it so, it becomes truth through validation that occurs in your prospects mind, you don’t sell anyone, they have to sell themselves, we are not in the business of selling, we are in the business of presenting, we are information brokers by trade.
We have talked about becoming an expert, and I also said that it is quite possible to oversell or over present your opportunity, and cost yourself a sale by being the expert, so how does the whole thing balance out.
I’m going to explain it like this, becoming an expert on the Industry, which when dealing with a prospect amazingly enough has zero affect on the question they have, because they never make a connection between what you happen to know about the industry and anything that they would be required to learn, they will only ever assess whether or not they can learn specifically about the model, the very thing that you represent, so in a sense there are several things that happen when you become an industry expert, one you validate that you really know what the problem is, which says to your prospect if you know what the problem is, then you must know where the solution lies, and you must realize how to solve it, this is the first positive ping on the mental check list of your prospect. Remember 99% of the people you speak to are NOT first time lookers, and they are very well aware of the challenges, have already evaluated themselves out of network marketing as a result of what they have seen and heard so far, the answer they have gotten to the question can I do it? Is a resounding no! Then in walks the master prospector, it’s important to note one thing here, master prospecting skills are never ever about how many people you recruit, never, because anyone can plow through the numbers, it is about conversion only, how many you enroll per number of conversations, anything less than 1 in 5 which is one enrollment per 5 conversations should send you back to prospecting school. That should be the goal, does it mean you start out that way? Absolutely not, but it does mean that you are learning as you go, and your conversions per conversation should be getting higher and higher, it could be 1 in 20, one enrollment per 20 conversations starting out, you should then be striving for 1 in 10, but enrolling 25 in 400 conversations would be a total bust, it’s always about conversion, as long as you are monitoring conversion you are constantly honing your skills. Now on to becoming an expert
Example: Well Mary you know statistically 98% of the people that enter into a home based business opportunity fail, (do not fear saying this you are actually validating yourself and your activity or company, and I guarantee your prospect already knows this.) That’s why when I saw the perfect gift plan model I was so impressed, Mary knowing how challenging it is for the average person to ever make any decent money on the Internet I immediately saw an opportunity where anyone could succeed, this would be a great time to talk about how easy it is. You will also want to add as an expert that most all network marketing companies will require you to enroll or sponsor 100’s and 100’s of people to ever make any good income, problem 2, master prospector solution, all we will ever ask you to do Mary is sponsor two people. Just two participants, people like yourself that you know could use more cash in their lives not only that but we are a group of individuals who truly care about others, and for us it’s not all about the money it’s about having a plan that will actually help people without the challenges, we have a plan that solves the industry problem, and changes the statistics, it’s not only possible for people to receive in abundance, it’s probable, I guess I have to say Mary that is the number one thing that attracted me to this activity. People are looking for a plan that will work for them, without having to conquer the learning curve that most opportunities would require before you can succeed, with our plan you could be receiving cash today
Now in the course of this short example we have covered three problem areas in the industry, and we did it ethically intact without naming names, or being less than professional, we did it from the position of industry expert, without making the prospect feel as though they could never do what you just did.
Now let me tell you what just happened in a 30 second conversation, In this example we would be very near accomplishing everything that we need in order to close this sale, these are the things that occurred,
1)We showed compassion towards people
2)We edified our activity
3)We proved we knew what was wrong in our industry
4)We solidified our commitment to change that
5)We removed all doubt that this is like all the rest
6)We sold its simplicity all you need is two
7)We sold our mission to help others
8)We showed them it was possible to get what they came for which is money…today
9)We were experts without intimidating our prospect
10)And most importantly we are well on our way to answering Mary’s one and only question. Can I Do It?
The next step is going to be covering the plan, and how it works or helping Mary understand that she can get what she needs here, and you don’t have to break it down, the website and the Movie can do that for you.
The one other thing we didn’t do is cover the cost or out of pocket, remember guys we are working with psychology here, after all of that, we need to give our prospect time to start assessing the possible costs…
Ideally the meter is running and they are thinking, if you presented correctly Mary will be thinking that it has to be 400.00 500.00 maybe more, based on what she’s heard from others while researching home based business.
In the example above we presented, any prospect who feels they are being sold, will resist mainly because they don’t want to sell, if you sell, they feel like they have to, remember they are listening, they are qualifying themselves every step of the way (can I do what he/she is doing). We have one job, and that is to present them with information, in the example we did it eloquently professionally without threat, or discomfort, we simply provided the information they needed to answer the only question they have. Your Job is to present, your goal to answer the question. Never sell anything, you have nothing to sell.
In the first half of our training we discussed that can I do it, is the one question you must answer in every conversation about your business. We also talked about becoming the expert, and NOT over selling your opportunity or activity, making sure that everything you do throughout your presentation comes across as something your prospect can see themselves doing, presenting with simplicity.
I am trying to deliver this information in order of importance, and in this last part we’re going to discuss “planning your work day” which you could call “achieving balance” or creating a structured work environment.
So why is this so important, it’s important because becoming disciplined and organized are key to your success. You cannot allow your business to run you, you must run your business.
The key to achieving all of these things is in the way you schedule your day. It’s going to be impossible for me to schedule it for you, since I don’t know what you can do when. All I can do is lay out a perfectly structured day as an example, and then hope that you guys can follow suit around your own circumstances.
So the first step to structuring your days would be to determine what you have to do as part of your daily ritual, and what time you typically do this. Example: If your kids get on the Bus at 7:30 then that is not part of your work structure.
We always build our business around life, NOT the othe5r way around, the other way will not work, you will never find balance, and a lot of bad things can occur if you try to build your life around business.
So ask yourself this question “When can I work”? This is the first thing you need to know, then block out the hours when you are taking care of life. Unless you have a fairly regular schedule you may want to create your schedule weekly, but once you make your work schedule stick to it, this is where discipline comes in. If you know you need to mow the lawn Tuesday morning, then obviously Tuesday morning gets blocked out.
This is so important because you need to be able to function without the stress of unfinished tasks, and without the guilt that can come from neglecting certain aspects of your life, you have to be free to work. This does not mean that you are going to work one hour a week, because if you do it simply won’t produce the results you are looking for, however one hour a week can be reserved for a certain task in relation to work.
Remember, what we talked about last week, your job is to present, you are an information broker, so this is essentially a process that you go through routinely, and you should do it repetitiously, do the same thing over and over again. With minor variations based on the differences that may be found from one prospect to another, other than that what you do is always the same, this way you get better and better at your game.
Get organized, I cannot stress this enough, if you don’t have a day planner, get one, it’s your prospecting bible. In my case, my day goes like this, I start work at 9:00 AM, and I begin by looking at my planner, which is actually an appointment book, this works best for me.
My Prospecting days are scheduled like this, from 9:00 to 12:00 I am making first calls, whether or not they are leads, people who have visited my website or whatever the case may be, first calls are made from 9:00-Noon. At noon, I have some lunch. Then from roughly 12:30 to 2:00 this is admin time, during these hours, I send emails to anyone that I spoke to that would possibly recap what we talked about and include an invitation to attend a call, I mainly have prospecting days on call days, and should you choose you could very well prospect all day on call days and reserve the following day for follow up.
On prospecting day you are making calls in the morning, I use Melissa Data to verify time zone so that I don’t call anyone at 7:00 in the morning, and try to call everyone after 9:00-9:30 AM, and never after 5:30-6:00 at night unless they ask me to.
So I make my calls, present, and let them know I will be sending them an email in the next few hours which contains the information they need to attend an overview call, remember I’m not selling, I’m brokering information, and these calls are part of that process. At this time I’m going to schedule a follow up call, typically I say “Mary after you have had a chance to attend the over view call I’d like to call you back so that I can answer any questions you might have, If it’s Tuesday then I want to call her back no later than Wednesday, some will instruct you to call them back immediately after the call, and this can work if your goal is to emotionally sell them, rather than have them join you from a place of intelligence, remember we want to enroll fewer people who create a stronger foundation rather than a lot who will buy emotionally and quit as a result of buyers remorse, so give them a day to think things through, in our case we have nothing to hide, and should not fear allowing them time to further their due diligence process, now if your prospect is going to visit the scam boards and find a bunch of garbage about your business, then we will address that later on, either by becoming an experts on why it is people post those items, and helping our prospects understand that scam, boards are nothing more than marketing platforms, and there is little or no value to them in making a sound business decision, because everyone posting is a network marketer. Or we will close them more quickly, but we’ll talk about those things another day. “ so Mary What time Wednesday afternoon is best for you? Say it like this because Mary wants all the time she can get before you ask her for money or she has to make a decision, so if you say what is a good day, she will likely say anytime next week, which will never work, because you have to spend your whole call reminding her who you are and why you are calling and so on. Write your appointment in your book. Wednesday after you have made Wednesday calls you know who you have to follow up with and what time they want you to call. Be on time the first time, it’s ok to tell Bob that you really need to run because you have another appointment in order to stay on schedule.
There is one other thing that I do, I use a contact sheet which is nothing more than a document that I print out, that has my prospects name email and phone, and a place for notes, when I hang up every call, or finish every conversation I write down anything important that my prospect told me, for instance why they need a home based business, what they do now, etc. This way when I call her back I remember or appear to remember what we talked about which scores big with your prospects, lets them know they matter. Then I slide the sheets into the planner, and before I dial the number I go back over notes of what they said, this way it is comfortable and is simply a continuation of the previous call.
However it is that you choose to organize and structure your business would be up to you, and would depend on your daily schedule, but just make sure you do it, and it’s structured so that you are not bouncing all over the place, when you are prospecting, that is all you are doing, when you follow up, that is all you are doing, and when you are closing THAT is all you are doing, you will hone your skills, and get better and better by taking this approach and it will also help you to eliminate any discomfort you may have. My partner sometimes says I am a Recruiting Machine, and it’s not that so much as the fact no one gets away, I use a flawless prospecting system that is driven by organization, it’s all part of a process and I never lose track of where I am in the process with any one prospect, I can lay my hands on the place I left off in a matter of seconds, so if my phone rings and Mary says “ Lori this is Mary Smith we spoke yesterday and last night I went to the call, by the time she introduces herself and tries to remind me, I am prepared to ease her discomfort by acknowledging that not only do I remember her, but I recall all of the details, again, you big score when you can do this. So the third most important thing in the process of becoming a master prospector is get organized, develop your system, and use it.
Here's the real truth behind the success of every top income earner in the industry ....work your tail off!!
Working your tail off means doing all the things everyone else won't do, so you can live the life everyone else doesn't have. It means attending ALL of your company and team opportunity and training calls. Working your tail off means finding out who is making it happen and duplicating exactly what they do. It means doing all the repetitive, boring things that breed success over and over and over again until you make it big.
So, what are the things we SHOULD NOT be doing? The following is a list of items we see so many people doing wrong in this industry. If you want to be successful in network marketing you need to consistently work hard and avoid the following 7 pitfalls:
1. Selling and Presenting Your BusinessWe see so many people in this industry trying to sell and talk people into joining their business. That might work if we wanted them to buy a refrigerator from us. The problem with selling people into your network marketing business is that they are not making a "buying" decision. They are making a working decision. Your job is not to convince people that your business is a great opportunity. Your job is to find those people who are searching for your opportunity and upon finding it will do something about it. In a nutshell, you are looking for the “get it done and then some” kind of people.
Utilize your company and team leader's conference calls & websites to do the selling and presenting for you. In simplest terms, let the tools do 90% of the work. That leaves you free to concentrate on the personal part of network marketing ... cultivating relationships, interviewing and choosing the right people.
Never forget that you are looking for serious, motivated, committed people who are ready to do business right now. If you try to sell people, you will end up spending 99% of your time trying to push the wrong people to do the work. The bottom line is, we are in the lifestyle consulting & development business, not sales.
2. Making Income Claims
How many times have you heard how much money the big "Guru" in a network marketing company is making? That may be very well and good, but what does it have to do with how much you will make or how much your prospect will earn with your company? The answer is absolutely nothing. You, your team members and potential prospects could make more or less than the top earner. So, why do so many networkers make income claims when talking to a potential candidate for their business? The answer goes back to Pitfall #1. They are trying to impress and ultimately sell their prospect into the business.
So, if we shouldn't be making income claims, how do we make sure our prospects have a strong understanding of the income potential of doing business with us? The answer is simple. Instead of telling them how much you or someone else in your company makes, present them with a simple business plan they can understand. For example, if sponsoring 10 who sponsor 10 who sponsor 10, will create a six figure income, then that is your sample business plan. Make sure they understand that once they complete the plan, they will be earning the desired income.
Always put the focus on what THEY need to do to make money, not what someone else has done.
3. Three-Waying Prospects Into Opportunity Calls
It never ceases to amaze us how many network marketers will 3-way a prospect into an opportunity call. Think about it. What message is this sending your prospect? It's simple, desperation. Instead of interviewing and making your prospect qualify for your time, you are again back to Pitfall #1, trying to sell someone on your business. Instead, make the attendance of your conference call a qualifier.
See it as the same way you would conduct a job interview. If you were interviewing a candidate for the board of directors of your business, would you drive to their house, pick them up and bring them back to your office? Of course you wouldn't. Sounds pretty silly when we put it that way, doesn't it? Your network marketing business is no different. You are the CEO of your company. You only have time to work with a few serious, motivated and dedicated individuals. If they won't take 25-30 minutes to learn about your business, then quite frankly, you don't want them.
4. Being Too Enthusiastic
Being excited about your business is a very good thing. However, displaying a bunch of over-the-top excitement during an interview call is going to more than likely turn your prospect off, off, off. If you are too enthusiastic when speaking with them, their first thought will probably be that you're about to pitch them on something. Be confident and excited about what you have to offer, but stay away from words like awesome, incredible, amazing, fantastic, easy, great, "you’re going to love this", etc.
5. Not Disqualifying
As we said earlier, smart people invest their time in the serious, motivated people who see the vision and are ready to do business now. So, how can we be sure we’re disqualifying the people that aren’t right for our business? One of the most important things you can do is make a list of the qualities you’re looking for and post it in sight of the area you make your phone calls at. At any time you feel like your prospect is not right for the business, simply let them know. Say something like, "I appreciate your time, but this doesn't sound like something that's for you right now. Why don't we keep in touch by email and if something changes you can give me a call."
Always leave the ball in their court. It's like a game of tennis. Every time they hit the ball back to you, you do the same. Literally – put the ball back into their court. Make them responsible for their actions so you’re spending your time with the right people. Don’t ever hit the ball over the net twice without getting it back first. If you do, you will just burn yourself out.
6. Not focusing on people’s pain – Not solving problems
Too many networkers focus only on getting a prospect information about their business, without learning anything about what the prospect is looking for and why. When speaking with prospects, ask exploratory questions that reveal their values, goals & desires. Really listen and care about what they have to say. The more you understand your prospect, the better you can assist them in getting what they want. Focus on how your business can be a solution to the challenges they're facing. They are interested in what joining your business can do for them, not how "great" and "incredible" it is.
7. Focusing on Details
There are two types of details we are talking about here. The first is the details of your business when talking with prospects. Don't get into long winded discussions about the background of your company. Stop yourself from going on and on about the evolution of the product line or the details of your marketing system. You, of course, want to answer questions. However, the time and place for that is after your prospect has been on a call and read through your website. Once they've done that, answer their questions in a short but informative way. Don't let yourself get side tracked from the topic or over load them with too much information.
The second type of details we're talking about is the details of planning your work. Want to waste 2 hours? Go into your office for 5 minutes. Leaders focus the bulk of their time on result related activities & delegate out everything else. 90% of your time should be spent on phone calls and training your team members. Organizing your business is considered "busy work" and does not count towards the time you need to put in to be successful.
There’s two important things I can say, if you aren’t willing to work for it, you don’t need it. It’s called working from home for a reason, second if you don’t believe you should leave, because in order to achieve your goals you have to believe 100% in what you are doing or every person you talk to will see right through that, and you couldn’t sponsor anyone if your life depended on it, that is a fact.
James Boehm
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Your Attitude is Everything
Have you heard the saying, "Attitude Is Everything"? While attitude might not really be "everything", it is the single most significant determining factor of success in many situations.
Here's how it works:
Change your attitude and you automatically change:
1. your perspective
2. the way you interpret things
3. the decisions you make
4. the actions you take
5. the results you get
Changing your attitude can get you there more quickly, but it can also get you there in style, enjoying the ride more fully. This short cut is for everyone, because even if you have a great attitude already, it could always be better. It doesn't matter if you have a little goal or a massive dream, a small annoyance or a huge problem, shifting your attitude will help, and it might just radically transform your situation.
People tend to think of an attitude as being simply positive or negative. However, there are infinite possibilities such as: warm, friendly, confident, determined, unstoppable, silly, playful, easy-going, outrageous, peaceful, open-minded, compassionate, optimistic, and all of their negative counterparts. You can ultimately become very creative and experiment with different attitudes for different situations, which will lead you to being more powerful and effective.
Here's the problem. We often think it's hard or impossible to change our attitudes, so we don't try. The truth is that it's easy to change your attitude, if you know how.
Another big problem is that we tend to think our attitude is born of the situation. We think our attitude is the right attitude for the way things are. Therefore, our attitude goes unexamined and unquestioned. Almost everybody is guilty of this, however, our attitude is completely optional and flexible. It is possible to have any attitude in any situation, and there are no ultimate "right" attitudes for particular situations.
We also tend to think of our attitudes as part of our identities. We think, "It's just the way I am." We tend to think of our personalities as static things. In fact, when faced with a new challenge or situation, we make split second decisions about how to respond, and what attitude to adopt, based on our idea of "who we think we are". In this way, we perpetually re-create our attitudes, whether they be negative and disempowering or positive and self-empowering. While our personalities, and the attitudes that go with them, may appear to be somewhat static, they only appear that way because we keep making the same choices (often unconsciously) over and over again, moment to moment. The truth is that you can change "who you're being", and you can change your attitude, at any moment.
How To Shift Your Attitude
Intention: Decide what attitude you want to have, then set your intention to adopt that attitude. Frequently, this is all that is necessary to shift your attitude dramatically.
Break Your Pattern: If you catch yourself with a bad attitude, it can be useful to do something radical and surprising to break your pattern: jump up and down, dance in a circle, poor ice water over your head, sing at the top of your lungs, whistle a silly tune, put on some great music, or whatever to break your pattern. Then create a fresh attitude.
Role Models: Find people who are getting the kinds of results you would like to be getting. Watch them carefully to see what kind of attitude they have and how they express that attitude. Copy them.
Surround Yourself With Positive People: Attitudes are contagious. Who you surround yourself with and spend time with is probably influencing your attitudes way more than you are consciously aware. Enough said.
Ask Better Questions: We are constantly asking ourselves questions. Most of the time this is not a very conscious process. For example, something bad happens and we ask ourselves, "Why me?" Our minds start to find answers to that question, effectively building a case for why bad things happen to us, leading to a bad attitude, leading to more bad things happening. Make a list of the most empowering questions you can think of, and ask those instead. The possibilities are infinite.
Here are a few to get you started:
1) How can I turn this problem into an opportunity?
2) What would I do if I was already very successful?
3) Who do I need to be to achieve my dream?
4) What would my future (successful) self do?
Fake It Till You Make It: If adopting a new attitude feels difficult or awkward, just fake it till you make it. It really works. Act as if you have that attitude. Walk like someone with that attitude. Talk like they would talk. Breathe like they would breathe. Make the decisions they would make, etc.
Expose Yourself To Empowering Messages: Feeding your mind positive messages on a regular basis can really impact your attitude. You can read books, listen to recordings, go to seminars, etc.
Meditation: One of the things meditation is great for is supporting you to slow down and notice that your personality is not so static. Your personality, and the attitudes that accompany it, are something that you generate from moment to moment. This is an empowering realization.
Play With Perspectives: If you have a problem or a goal that you're not making enough progress on, it can be useful to play with perspectives. This loosens up your attitude, and helps you discover new possible attitudes. Get creative and try looking at your situation from several different perspectives.
For example, you can ask yourself:
1) What would a child's perspective be?
2) An elders?,
3) How would I approach this if I knew I could not fail,
4) What would Jesus/Buddha do?,
5) What would be the CEO's perspective?,
6) What would an expert think?,
7) What is the customer's perspective,
8) What would be the perspective of a wealthy person?,
9) A poor person,
10) What would (person you admire) do?,
11) What would my future self say?, etc... the possibilities are endless.
Give Up Reasons and Excuses:
This is a big one. We tend to stubbornly hold on to our attitudes. They become habits. We learn to justify them. We have reasons and excuses for them. You can choose to give up all of your reasons and excuses. Just give them up. Would you rather have your reasons and excuses, or would you rather get results?
Reminders: Write the attitude you want to adopt on a post-it note and put it somewhere so that you'll see it regularly. Ask a friend to remind you. Set an alarm that goes off every hour, etc. You get the idea.
Change Your Belief: If the above techniques don't work, you probably have an underlying negative belief that needs changing. For example, imagine a woman who believes all men are lying cheats. She would have a very hard time trying to create a positive attitude about dating. The above techniques will work to change most negative beliefs, but sometimes changing a stubborn belief requires stronger measures. However, that is the topic of a future article.
Exercise - Creating An Empowering Attitude
Step 1: Choose either a goal that you are having trouble achieving, or a stubborn problem that won't seem to go away. Write it down.
Step 2: Write down your current attitude or attitudes about this goal or problem
Step 3: Decide what attitude you want to have. Write it down. If choosing a new attitude is not easy, use the above technique: "Play With Perspective" to explore new possibilities.
Step 4: Set your intention to adopt the new attitude. Choose one or more of the above techniques to support you in adopting the new attitude. Write down the technique(s) you will use.
James Boehm
Daily Dose Of Good
Every Month A Million
8K A Week
Here's how it works:
Change your attitude and you automatically change:
1. your perspective
2. the way you interpret things
3. the decisions you make
4. the actions you take
5. the results you get
Changing your attitude can get you there more quickly, but it can also get you there in style, enjoying the ride more fully. This short cut is for everyone, because even if you have a great attitude already, it could always be better. It doesn't matter if you have a little goal or a massive dream, a small annoyance or a huge problem, shifting your attitude will help, and it might just radically transform your situation.
People tend to think of an attitude as being simply positive or negative. However, there are infinite possibilities such as: warm, friendly, confident, determined, unstoppable, silly, playful, easy-going, outrageous, peaceful, open-minded, compassionate, optimistic, and all of their negative counterparts. You can ultimately become very creative and experiment with different attitudes for different situations, which will lead you to being more powerful and effective.
Here's the problem. We often think it's hard or impossible to change our attitudes, so we don't try. The truth is that it's easy to change your attitude, if you know how.
Another big problem is that we tend to think our attitude is born of the situation. We think our attitude is the right attitude for the way things are. Therefore, our attitude goes unexamined and unquestioned. Almost everybody is guilty of this, however, our attitude is completely optional and flexible. It is possible to have any attitude in any situation, and there are no ultimate "right" attitudes for particular situations.
We also tend to think of our attitudes as part of our identities. We think, "It's just the way I am." We tend to think of our personalities as static things. In fact, when faced with a new challenge or situation, we make split second decisions about how to respond, and what attitude to adopt, based on our idea of "who we think we are". In this way, we perpetually re-create our attitudes, whether they be negative and disempowering or positive and self-empowering. While our personalities, and the attitudes that go with them, may appear to be somewhat static, they only appear that way because we keep making the same choices (often unconsciously) over and over again, moment to moment. The truth is that you can change "who you're being", and you can change your attitude, at any moment.
How To Shift Your Attitude
Intention: Decide what attitude you want to have, then set your intention to adopt that attitude. Frequently, this is all that is necessary to shift your attitude dramatically.
Break Your Pattern: If you catch yourself with a bad attitude, it can be useful to do something radical and surprising to break your pattern: jump up and down, dance in a circle, poor ice water over your head, sing at the top of your lungs, whistle a silly tune, put on some great music, or whatever to break your pattern. Then create a fresh attitude.
Role Models: Find people who are getting the kinds of results you would like to be getting. Watch them carefully to see what kind of attitude they have and how they express that attitude. Copy them.
Surround Yourself With Positive People: Attitudes are contagious. Who you surround yourself with and spend time with is probably influencing your attitudes way more than you are consciously aware. Enough said.
Ask Better Questions: We are constantly asking ourselves questions. Most of the time this is not a very conscious process. For example, something bad happens and we ask ourselves, "Why me?" Our minds start to find answers to that question, effectively building a case for why bad things happen to us, leading to a bad attitude, leading to more bad things happening. Make a list of the most empowering questions you can think of, and ask those instead. The possibilities are infinite.
Here are a few to get you started:
1) How can I turn this problem into an opportunity?
2) What would I do if I was already very successful?
3) Who do I need to be to achieve my dream?
4) What would my future (successful) self do?
Fake It Till You Make It: If adopting a new attitude feels difficult or awkward, just fake it till you make it. It really works. Act as if you have that attitude. Walk like someone with that attitude. Talk like they would talk. Breathe like they would breathe. Make the decisions they would make, etc.
Expose Yourself To Empowering Messages: Feeding your mind positive messages on a regular basis can really impact your attitude. You can read books, listen to recordings, go to seminars, etc.
Meditation: One of the things meditation is great for is supporting you to slow down and notice that your personality is not so static. Your personality, and the attitudes that accompany it, are something that you generate from moment to moment. This is an empowering realization.
Play With Perspectives: If you have a problem or a goal that you're not making enough progress on, it can be useful to play with perspectives. This loosens up your attitude, and helps you discover new possible attitudes. Get creative and try looking at your situation from several different perspectives.
For example, you can ask yourself:
1) What would a child's perspective be?
2) An elders?,
3) How would I approach this if I knew I could not fail,
4) What would Jesus/Buddha do?,
5) What would be the CEO's perspective?,
6) What would an expert think?,
7) What is the customer's perspective,
8) What would be the perspective of a wealthy person?,
9) A poor person,
10) What would (person you admire) do?,
11) What would my future self say?, etc... the possibilities are endless.
Give Up Reasons and Excuses:
This is a big one. We tend to stubbornly hold on to our attitudes. They become habits. We learn to justify them. We have reasons and excuses for them. You can choose to give up all of your reasons and excuses. Just give them up. Would you rather have your reasons and excuses, or would you rather get results?
Reminders: Write the attitude you want to adopt on a post-it note and put it somewhere so that you'll see it regularly. Ask a friend to remind you. Set an alarm that goes off every hour, etc. You get the idea.
Change Your Belief: If the above techniques don't work, you probably have an underlying negative belief that needs changing. For example, imagine a woman who believes all men are lying cheats. She would have a very hard time trying to create a positive attitude about dating. The above techniques will work to change most negative beliefs, but sometimes changing a stubborn belief requires stronger measures. However, that is the topic of a future article.
Exercise - Creating An Empowering Attitude
Step 1: Choose either a goal that you are having trouble achieving, or a stubborn problem that won't seem to go away. Write it down.
Step 2: Write down your current attitude or attitudes about this goal or problem
Step 3: Decide what attitude you want to have. Write it down. If choosing a new attitude is not easy, use the above technique: "Play With Perspective" to explore new possibilities.
Step 4: Set your intention to adopt the new attitude. Choose one or more of the above techniques to support you in adopting the new attitude. Write down the technique(s) you will use.
James Boehm
Daily Dose Of Good
Every Month A Million
8K A Week
Friday, December 11, 2009
WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES IN LIFE, ANOTHER DOOR WILL OPEN
Helen Keller the famous American writer once said, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.”
This quote could not be more true in my life, and I’m sure many others. As I’ve had time to reflect upon my life these past days, I’m happy to see where I’ve been, yet I am more happy to see where I am going. In the past, I used to always focus on what didn’t happen in my life, what should have been, or what could have been, thus leaving me discouraged. A lot of us, like me before, put so much of our focus everyday on pass failures. It could be failures in our relationships, our decisions, our career choices, or mistakes we have made which are we are not able to fix. Even though we know that we can’t change the past, we still dwell on it, letting it plague us like a virus that never leaves our mind and emotions. But, if we always focus on the past doors that have closed, we will become blind to the open doors and opportunities that may come our way.
In the past, I used to get so down on myself about every thing that didn’t go my way. I would ask God why? I would throw fits and rages when life didn’t turn out the way I thought it should have. Or, I would become depressed and go into bouts of self-pity, self-rejection and self-hatred. Being an over achiever I would become extremely critical of myself if I felt like I was the cause of my failures. Yet, now that I am older and I can look back at a lot of my earlier mistakes as a young adolescent, I can see how every mistake, every disappointment and failure has led me to become a better man.
With time we become wiser. With time we learn to learn from our mistakes. With time we can see things in retrospect and appreciate every experience, good or bad, for what it is. With time, we can begin to appreciate ourselves. With time we realize there is no use holding on to old remorse’s and thoughts of “I wish I could have, or would have, done things this way or that way.” Instead, we can make the choice now to not repeat our past failures, recognize we are not the same person, and be open to change. We have to let go of what we can’t control and stop focusing on the past closed doors. If we do this, we can become aware of the present blessings in our lives that we may have been missing all along and walk through a new door of happiness.
Until we let go of the old thing we are holding onto, we cannot be hands free to receive the new thing God desires to bless us with. MOVE ON! I felt like I had to say that loud and clear to whoever is reading this column… MOVE ON from the past and into the new. Don’t let your past mistakes, regrets or disappointments hold you back from experiencing the fullness of life and all the goodness it can bring! I’m excited about my future, I feel like I’m maturing as a man and I know that what is in store for me in the coming days can only be even better than what I have experienced before. Not because the past was bad, but because right now I am wiser, more ready and in touch with whom I really am to receive God’s very best! Unless, we choose to move forward from past closed doors, we won’t know what is on the other side of the new doors that await us. I’m nervous, a bit afraid, but full of faith and heart wide open to experience the new, so should you!
God bless,
James Boehm Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good
This quote could not be more true in my life, and I’m sure many others. As I’ve had time to reflect upon my life these past days, I’m happy to see where I’ve been, yet I am more happy to see where I am going. In the past, I used to always focus on what didn’t happen in my life, what should have been, or what could have been, thus leaving me discouraged. A lot of us, like me before, put so much of our focus everyday on pass failures. It could be failures in our relationships, our decisions, our career choices, or mistakes we have made which are we are not able to fix. Even though we know that we can’t change the past, we still dwell on it, letting it plague us like a virus that never leaves our mind and emotions. But, if we always focus on the past doors that have closed, we will become blind to the open doors and opportunities that may come our way.
In the past, I used to get so down on myself about every thing that didn’t go my way. I would ask God why? I would throw fits and rages when life didn’t turn out the way I thought it should have. Or, I would become depressed and go into bouts of self-pity, self-rejection and self-hatred. Being an over achiever I would become extremely critical of myself if I felt like I was the cause of my failures. Yet, now that I am older and I can look back at a lot of my earlier mistakes as a young adolescent, I can see how every mistake, every disappointment and failure has led me to become a better man.
With time we become wiser. With time we learn to learn from our mistakes. With time we can see things in retrospect and appreciate every experience, good or bad, for what it is. With time, we can begin to appreciate ourselves. With time we realize there is no use holding on to old remorse’s and thoughts of “I wish I could have, or would have, done things this way or that way.” Instead, we can make the choice now to not repeat our past failures, recognize we are not the same person, and be open to change. We have to let go of what we can’t control and stop focusing on the past closed doors. If we do this, we can become aware of the present blessings in our lives that we may have been missing all along and walk through a new door of happiness.
Until we let go of the old thing we are holding onto, we cannot be hands free to receive the new thing God desires to bless us with. MOVE ON! I felt like I had to say that loud and clear to whoever is reading this column… MOVE ON from the past and into the new. Don’t let your past mistakes, regrets or disappointments hold you back from experiencing the fullness of life and all the goodness it can bring! I’m excited about my future, I feel like I’m maturing as a man and I know that what is in store for me in the coming days can only be even better than what I have experienced before. Not because the past was bad, but because right now I am wiser, more ready and in touch with whom I really am to receive God’s very best! Unless, we choose to move forward from past closed doors, we won’t know what is on the other side of the new doors that await us. I’m nervous, a bit afraid, but full of faith and heart wide open to experience the new, so should you!
God bless,
James Boehm Every Month A Million and the Daily Dose Of Good
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